Reboot Nation Forum > Porn Addiction

FAQ's (Frequently Asked Questions)

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Gabe Deem:
Reboot Nation's Frequently Asked Questions

More FAQ's coming soon... under construction.

How do I know if my ED is related to my porn use?

-The first thing you should do if you are not sure is see a good doctor/urologist to rule out other causes.

Now, take the porn-induced ED test to rule out the possibility of performance anxiety.

First - see if you can get an erection to your favorite porn. (if you recently did you already know the answer)

Second - see if you can get an erection to just your hands touch alone. No porn, or fantasy. Use only sensations, with the same speed and pressure you would experience during intercourse.
Compare the quality of your erection using just touch with your erection while watching porn. A healthy young man should have no trouble attaining a full erection and masturbating to orgasm without porn or porn fantasy.

If you have a strong erection with porn, but erectile dysfunction with your hand, then you probably have porn-induced ED.

If you can easily get an erection that is strong and solid with only your hand, but you have trouble with a real partner, then you probably have anxiety-induced ED.

If you cannot get an erection to porn or your hand, you may have progressive porn-induced ED, or an organic problem. When in doubt, see a good urologist.

How do you know when you are rebooted?

There is no for sure way to tell if you are 100% recovered, and guys reboot for several different reasons. As far as porn-induced ED goes, you only know your recovered when you no longer have ED during sex.

There are some signs to look for though....

1. You can achieve a rock solid erection just by touching and sensation with No porn and NO fantasy! ( remember its not good to test so this should only be done if your feeling good about the following lol)

2. You feel like connecting with people and you notice satisfaction on everyday things and a sort of appreciation for small things like a cute girls smile.

3. You no longer crave porn at all but you desire to interact with real girls! This is a good sign your brain knows the old wankin habits are gone.

4. Your sexual thoughts change. Meaning when fantasies do pop up in your head they're not porn related but more natural. (example seeing a girl and insted of thinking about her bent over a chair you think about how amazing just normal good old fashion missionary sex would be)

5. You are getting fairly consistent morning wood. And maybe some spontaneous erections throughout the day.

6. Semen leakage (if you had any) like when you go to the bathroom and notice some cloudy stuff in the water after you pee.. Has stopped.

7. Sex (if you are able to have it) feels fantastic.

8. You have a desire to talk to or pursue a partner.

9. After an orgasm you do not go into a flatline.

10. Your refractory period shortens.

Like I said, no way to tell for sure, just some things to look for.

Can I have sex during a reboot?

Yes. However, the 3 things the vast majority of successful rebooters suggest are these.

1. Eliminate all artificial sexual stimulation, including porn fantasy.

-You need to let your addicted pathways weaken and un-wire. However, behavior is very important too. Surfing Facebook, YouTube, or any other online activity that mimics porn use and searching for novelty is to be avoided.

2. Most guys need to "TEMPORARILY" eliminate or drastically reduce masturbation and ORGASMS.

- Desensitization or "numbed pleasure response" needs a little time to bounce back. Your brain's reward centers are numbed down to all pleasure and could use a little time out to recover. Depending on age and history of porn use, the time of complete rest can vary drastically. Older guys who did not wire their brains from a young age to internet porn can get by with a few weeks of abstinence and be good to go. But what has been seen in younger guys (20's and younger) is that they need more time away from orgasm to bounce back. Ofcourse there are outliers on both ends of the spectrum but typically anywhere from 2-6 months of rest is best. *Remember the earlier one starts on porn the DEEPER and STRONGER the neural pathways are associated with each other.*

-The bottom line is you have to define what "temporarily" means for you. Nobody can tell you exactly how long you need to rest as everyone is different.

3.You need to, and maybe have to, REWIRE your sexual response to a real life partner.

- The most important brain change with porn induced sexual dysfunctions appears to be sensitization, (nerve cells that fire together wire together). Rewiring is firing your nerve cells for real people, thus wiring your nerve cells to real people. Rewiring does NOT mean you have to have sex. In fact, finding a loving partner and taking it slow is the best way to rewire in my opinion. Things like, cuddling, kissing, holding hands, or just hanging out enjoying eachother are all rewiring you to real people.

-Now, to finally answer your question. Is sex OK during a reboot? The answer is yes, but you probably want to wait a few weeks to months, depending on sexual history, and it seems that you should avoid orgasm for a few months, depending on sexual history. Even when guys feel rebooted like myself, we continued to see improvements for months after we are able to have sex, so it is wise to SLOWLY introduce orgasm back into your life.

-Sex without orgasm is known as Karezza. I actually did this a few times during my reboot and found it to be very benificial, however the times I had a orgasm I felt like I went back into a flatline.

So, my advice is to start rewiring ASAP, but stay away from orgasm for a period of time. Over 30 guys at least a month, younger guys 2-6 months.

When does morning wood come back?

There is no answer for this as everyone is different. However it tends to be a slow gradual return.

It was gradual for me. My morning wood recovery looked like this:

First 3 months no morning wood at all
Months 4-9 were mixed with ocassional morning wood anywhere from 60% to 100% hard
Months 10 to 14 pretty consistent morning wood (about 3 days a week)100% hard.
Months 15 to present (18 months) regular morning wood 100% hard (4 or 5 days a week). There have been mornings I've laid in bed for hours with a boner that would not go down.

Also, when I first started getting morning wood it would go down as soon as I stood up, over the months it stayed longer and longer. Now I can walk around for a few minutes with a towel hanging on it.

Some things to remember: if you wake up to an alarm. Morning Wood usually happens during REM (rapid eye movement) or shortly after, so if you wake up to an alarm or some other sound you may not have been in REM sleep.

If you get morning wood that is a indication that your penis is fine and the problem is in your brain. Some sexual health practitioners will say that if you can get nocturnal erections than your Erectile Dysfunction is anxiety related because your penis works fine. However that is not true in the case of porn induced ED because they do not know or refuse to acknowledge the physiological changes porn can cause.

Morning wood does not mean that you're cured. It IS a sign your headed in the right direction and your junk is not broken, but rather your brains wired for porn.

How come some guys can watch porn and be fine, but I have an addiction/dysfunction?

-I can only speculate, but there are a few reasons I can think of why some guys can watch porn and without developing an addiction or dysfunction.

1. The age one started watching internet porn. The younger you started on porn the more likely you will have sensitized your brain to get turned on by a screen rather than a partner. If a guy doesn't start on internet porn during adolescence he will not have wired for porn as deeply as someone who did watch internet porn through adolescence. (Note the fact that I said "internet porn" and not just porn or magazines. Having unlimited supply of novel porn is a huge part of the equation, magazines simply can't deliver the same neurochemical punch and therefore not wire the brain as fast or as deep.

2. How frequent and consistent one watches porn. Some guys only watch a few days a week/month. Guys who develop porn induced dysfunctions may have watched it almost every day for years, like me.

3. Past sexual experience. Some guys have had lots of real life sex along with lots of porn use. These guys have wiring for real partners, guys who have only masturbated to porn do not. This was a huge factor I believe in why it took a while for my porn induced ED to develop, because I had a lot of sex through highschool and college. This is scary to me because I might have even taken longer to reboot, and should be encouraging to guys taking a long time with no sexual past. They may just need more time or simply rewire their brain for a real life partner, the brain is always changing so as long as we are alive rewiring is possible!

4. The way a guy watches porn. Some guys watch one video a session and that is it, or go back to a saved video and keep watching that one video, while other guys edge for hours and keeping dopamine high for very long periods of time. Some guys have multiple tabs open at the same time being bombarded with novelty. All 3 groups of guys are wiring their brain to porn on a screen but the edgers and novelty seekers are surely wiring their brain more deeply. I would both edge when I had time to kill, or search for the perfect scene if I was in a rush.

Some guys are on their way to limp noodle town and they do not even know it. They just might not be there yet, or maybe they do not watch as much porn as you would think or that they say they do. There are MANY factors that go into this.

Is This A Relapse..Was That A Relapse...What is a Relapse?

- A relapse is when you intentionally look at porn. If you accidentally come across porn that is not a relapse, if you keep watching/looking at it that is a relapse.

- Everytime we come across porn and say no we streangthen our frontal cortex (decision making), but it is probably wise to avoid everything containing sexual content for awhile. If you play with fire eventually you're gunna get burned.

What Does Withdrawal From Porn Look Like?

Not everyone goes through withdrawal when quitting porn. In fact, some guys with porn-induced ED can quit porn fairly easy but still need months to recover. This suggests they have wired their brains for porn, or sexually conditioned themselves to a screen instead of a real person. So being addicted is not necessary for one to be negatively impacted by porn. However, many guys do report going through very real withdrawal. I know because I was one of them. Common withdrawal symptoms include:

Anxiety
Restlessness
Irritability
Insomnia
Fatigue
Headaches
Poor concentration
Depression
Social isolation
Loss of libido (also called a flatline)

The good news is these usually go away after rebooting. If after rebooting they are still present, then that indicates they were not porn-induced.

Rebooting and Rewiring, What Is The Difference?

Rebooting = Complete rest from artificial sexual stimulation so your brains addicted pathways can weaken. Complete rest from artificial sexual stimulation so your reward circuit can regain normal sensitivity. It works best if treated like a broken bone. You put it in a cast so it can have complete rest and heal faster, then you take the cast off and slowly start re-training it. So your brain heals faster if you give it complete rest. I have found this to be true in my case and many others.
Rewiring = Simply means teaching your brain that a real person is where the "reward" is.



MORE FAQ's COMING SOON!

Dkredd:
        Hi, my name is Kirk,
  I'm 53 and have kicked addictions all my life(alcohol, coke, heroin etc..) I'm trying to seek some advice to help my nephew. He has been addicted to this stuff his entire life. He is now 30 yrs. old and has been glued to the internet from the time he was 8 yrs. old. He has never had friends and has been withdrawn from the public most his life. A long story. Where do you start with someone like this. I mean he has been dependent on anyone who will support him as long as he has the internet, that's all he cares about. He had a girlfriend once that only lasted a month. That was 10 yrs. ago. She tried holding out on sex in a effort to get him working a regular job. That did not work and she was gone. He told her that he could hold out (having sex) longer than her. It was true. Now, I understand why. Wouldn't he have to want to quit this before anything can be done? I don't think he has any desire to ever stop. He is totally withdrawn from everything. The pc and internet gives him everything he wants. He interacts with others, plays games and jerks off and who knows what else. He is locked inside a room and never comes out unless to eat or go to the rest room. We are making a attempt to get him into part time college for a degree. I know this is to buy him more time to do nothing. This addition has got his balls in a vice! Is there any hope? what to do? Any helpful thing would appreciated. Maybe someone could intervene or befriend him to help. He will not listen to anyone, goes in one ear and out. No concerns at all on his behalf. Never has had a job that lasted any length of time. Joined the army and quit that and on and on. He'll do whatever he needs to, to keep us at bay, so he can continue this behavior. What would you do? I've watched and read your stuff here. I think a person must want to change first. I know that with me (my drug additions) I had to have a desire to quit.  What to do?       Kirk

Maxime:
If he doesn't want to change, he won't, As simple as that.
Also I'm not sure if this shouldn't be somewhere else on the forum

Calvin klein:
Ok i can get erection without porn but i must think about them in my brain.. Does it count as hand or porn induced erection

snk:

--- Quote from: Dkredd on January 12, 2015, 02:03:33 AM ---        Hi, my name is Kirk,
  I'm 53 and have kicked addictions all my life(alcohol, coke, heroin etc..) I'm trying to seek some advice to help my nephew. He has been addicted to this stuff his entire life. He is now 30 yrs. old and has been glued to the internet from the time he was 8 yrs. old. He has never had friends and has been withdrawn from the public most his life. A long story. Where do you start with someone like this. I mean he has been dependent on anyone who will support him as long as he has the internet, that's all he cares about. He had a girlfriend once that only lasted a month. That was 10 yrs. ago. She tried holding out on sex in a effort to get him working a regular job. That did not work and she was gone. He told her that he could hold out (having sex) longer than her. It was true. Now, I understand why. Wouldn't he have to want to quit this before anything can be done? I don't think he has any desire to ever stop. He is totally withdrawn from everything. The pc and internet gives him everything he wants. He interacts with others, plays games and jerks off and who knows what else. He is locked inside a room and never comes out unless to eat or go to the rest room. We are making a attempt to get him into part time college for a degree. I know this is to buy him more time to do nothing. This addition has got his balls in a vice! Is there any hope? what to do? Any helpful thing would appreciated. Maybe someone could intervene or befriend him to help. He will not listen to anyone, goes in one ear and out. No concerns at all on his behalf. Never has had a job that lasted any length of time. Joined the army and quit that and on and on. He'll do whatever he needs to, to keep us at bay, so he can continue this behavior. What would you do? I've watched and read your stuff here. I think a person must want to change first. I know that with me (my drug additions) I had to have a desire to quit.  What to do?       Kirk

--- End quote ---
Hey, Kirk. I'm also new here, but I guess you have to show him what he is missing. I don't know if putting him down and just showing how what he is doing sucks can help, but you gotta make him see that somehow. Or, you just let him live as he wants. It's his life, he does whatever he wants with it. Just try to make sure that at least he had an option and a chance to change, coz you gave it to him.
Good luck and tell us the news

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