Author Topic: Beginning NO MO again, after 1 month no P  (Read 15618 times)

lohster12

  • Member

  • Offline
  • *

  • 9
  • Personal Text
    "Improvement begins with I. " -A. Glasow
    • View Profile
Re: Beginning NO MO again, after 1 month no P
« Reply #50 on: February 19, 2016, 01:38:10 AM »
hey there KK,

       HAHA on your grindr thing, because I sort of do the same w/ tinder/facebook as a substitute LOL, my question to you is when you first started the no PMO thing, did you get
really strong urges to masturbate ? i'm 22yrs old and i'm only on day 8 but boy do i always feel dirty now. I also smoke a lot of weed and roll a bit (for raves), but atm i'm off those two
at the same time. Why'd you cut mj off i'm curious though. Great read btw.

kk99

  • Member

  • Offline
  • *

  • 48
    • View Profile
Re: Beginning NO MO again, after 1 month no P
« Reply #51 on: February 19, 2016, 10:19:03 PM »
Hey man thanks for writing and reading.

Yes, when I first started I got insane urges to masturbate. I read this book called "The Power of Habit" which I highly recomend and they talk about when you get an urge for something, pick a new action (instead of jerking off, take 3 deep breaths or something).

Well done on starting this. It's challenging but you'll be feeling amazing in a few weeks if you stick with it.

Yeah ganja and rolling are not bad things, I like them too. But I took away the weed because it was everyday and I like to take breaks and reevaluate my relationship to these things. I'm not sure if I'll go back to it after this month or not. Whatever works, it's good to break habits and make them choices rather than compulsions. Best of luck.

kk99

  • Member

  • Offline
  • *

  • 48
    • View Profile
Re: Beginning NO MO again, after 1 month no P
« Reply #52 on: February 24, 2016, 11:51:02 PM »
Update.

This has still been challenging. Last week, I looked at porn for the first time since the beginning of September. Kind of brushed off what I big deal it was until I had sex with my boyfriend and realized I needed to fantasize about porn again to orgasm. Not okay, or what I want at all. Good news is, even after a few days, I was really turned on with sex and didn't need to fantasize.

My biggest obstacle to overcome right now is opening up more about this with my partner. I brought it up and we talked more in the beginning. Then I got more viagra which I've been taking every time we've had sex and since the problem is gone and I have really been performing better than I ever have, because of months of no PMO, I've kept it hidden. I told him about the pills, etc, but we haven't had a talk in awhile and I don't want to rely on them and still think a break from sex altogether would be great for starting a fresh reboot since I relapsed a bit. I know he senses how heavy this is for me and has been great at giving space and time for me to open up when I'm ready. And I am ready. We're getting close to the point now that things hidden, especially around our sex life, feels like an unnecessary wall to more love and healing, so I'm going to be brave and open up more about how deep and dark this hole was before and how much healing is happening. And to be totally transparent about taking erection pills for the sake of confidence and sex and intimacy, etc.

What a fucking journey. Feels great to write as always.

 "I love my sex life" - an affirmation I've been telling myself at least a few times in my head each day. It's working :)

Rebootosaurus

  • Member

  • Offline
  • *

  • 10
    • View Profile
Re: Beginning NO MO again, after 1 month no P
« Reply #53 on: February 26, 2016, 09:01:26 AM »
Hey man! I am impressed that you got so far without pmo! Please just continue on this path. I just wanted to ask if you think that you shouldn't have sex so often, maybe you can just suck him off or somthing so it doesn't feel like you make him live in celabacy because of you.

Sorry, english is not my native language so maybe I was a bit of confusing.

kk99

  • Member

  • Offline
  • *

  • 48
    • View Profile
Re: Beginning NO MO again, after 1 month no P
« Reply #54 on: March 02, 2016, 05:16:48 PM »
Thanks man.

I realize how much I was starting to cheap. It's a slippery slope. A few days back on track, sex with my partner is better and I realize how much more energy and confidence I have.


kk99

  • Member

  • Offline
  • *

  • 48
    • View Profile
Re: Beginning NO MO again, after 1 month no P
« Reply #55 on: March 11, 2016, 10:52:31 AM »
Okay. I have to start again.

I am even thinking about starting a new thread, because I've been caught in a bad cycle since I went overseas in January and have not 100% gotten back on course.

I started rebooting on September 11th (6 months ago exactly). The most powerful part was realizing it had to be 100%. Not just no porn. But no grindr, or things that are in the grey area. Any sexual stimulus that is not a real person is no.

It was really powerful and challenging. I felt better. Felt my libido coming back. Realized how addicted to porn and sex I was and what a challenge (and how empowering it was) to stop. Shortly after I met my partner. Opened up as much as I felt comfortable. I went on a 3 week trip overseas and slipped back and truthfully have not been on track like I was before.

The shame, guillt, powerlessness, etc all have come back. As well as secrecy. This shit is fucking weird. And intense! I stopped posting so much. Kind of get through it. Kept telling myself I would tell my partner about it all for support, but have instead chose to pretend it's not happening and take viagra to have sex instead. The crazy thing is, after watching porn again, the sex feels different. And not as good.

Anyhow. I need to start over. Exactly 6 months after I began. My goal is again 90 days. Really, my life is too important to get stuck in a habit loop that's holding me back and putting unnecessary weight on my shoulders. I am going to start a new thread and reread all my posting to get some good insight. The support on this forum is incredible, so thank you. We all deserve confident, joyful, real intimacy and sex, it's one of the best parts of life. It's wild we have to battle our minds to recover, but the truth is I am grateful for the first time in years I KNOW what I need to do to heal and I am doing it. So if you have fucked up a little or a lot, like I feel I have, stay kind to yourself. And recommit when yo're ready.

Greys0n

  • Member

  • Offline
  • *

  • 7
    • View Profile
Re: Beginning NO MO again, after 1 month no P
« Reply #56 on: March 16, 2016, 07:08:48 AM »
Best of luck.  Keep rebooting!