how porn ruined my life permanently

[jonnymortal]

I started rebooting from very extreme porn(gang bangs, beastiality ,incest) in 2013.  I had improved to the extent that I got a girlfriend but I still hadn't completely rebooted, I performed very poorly.  what occurred is that I was in the process of reducing my porn use but still had relapses though  less often than previously.  the girlfriend found out what I was looking at online and became extremely disgusted with me(I never explained to her that I was in recovery from porn addiction).  instead of her confronting me she decided to share what I was looking at with her friends.  unfortunately I was unaware that her friends were some very dangerous drug dealers.  these people decided that they were going to teach me a lesson for being a pervert and slipped a batch of contaminated meth into my food.  I never saw her again after this incident and have had some serious health issues ever since.  she has a network of gang members keeping track of me in order that I don't try to retaliate against her or her family.  I'm sure this isn't the first time they've slipped someone a bad batch of meth, so as far as I can tell they're just going to keep an eye on me until I die (which probably isn't far off).  I went to the doctor but he wasn't very helpful (they just don't know everything). 

Oh well I have learned to cope with whatever impairment awaits me in the future.  I just wanted to express how urgent it is that people start becoming aware of the negative impacts internet pornography has on teens and young adults.  There is a lot of misconception regarding pornography addiction and its consequences.  I just wish this information on rebooting had been made available to me when I was younger,  It would have saved my life.         

[MikeElam23]

Damn bro. That story/experience is straight out of a movie. Sorry you had to experience that. Your ex girlfriend and her friends were way out of line for what they did. No excuses for that behavior, regardless if you like a person's internet habits or not. This is a classic example of why I have 0% sympathy/empathy for women. They aren't these innocent creatures society paints them as. They are just as foul as men. Probably more. Oh well use this as motivation to never use porn again. That's really all you can do. No point crying over spilled milk.

[jonnymortal]

yeah unfortunately the whole porn thing led me into a serious depression.  I'm receiving disability but I was recovering when this whole incident occurred.  I blame early porn use for the depression.  I was doing so much better I had a job carpet cleaning but now that's all gone.  I'm seriously going to have to commit suicide only because I don't want to wait around for a potentially very painful death when I can take care of it painlessly.

[MikeElam23]

yeah unfortunately the whole porn thing led me into a serious depression.  I'm receiving disability but I was recovering when this whole incident occurred.  I blame early porn use for the depression.  I was doing so much better I had a job carpet cleaning but now that's all gone.  I'm seriously going to have to commit suicide only because I don't want to wait around for a potentially very painful death when I can take care of it painlessly.

Dude taking your life is NEVER the answer. Imagine what that would do to your family. How old are you? Taking your life still allows porn to defeat you. Instead rise above this and turn you life around. You can do it, you just got to believe in yourself.

[kasee]

I'm sorry to hear about this story, but there is no need to kill yourself. Porn is a tough addiction it is very similar to Drugs except that is free.  Hang in there, I'm sure after a while the gang member will move on, unless you retaliate.  Visit this site often it motivates me from jumping back to Porn to create Dope. 

[Greek99]

I don't know what to say.  Are you serious you may be poisoned from this with long term effects and not temporary?  You should visit another doctor and get screened to find out what they hit you with, as many things can be counteracted. 

Anyways, looking at your situation, chances are your psycho bitch x-girlfriend (and that is what she is), would of gotten you into other sorts of trouble.  I am not saying that porn isn't to blame, but if she is hanging out with drug dealers and stuff, she has issues, and chances are if you had dumped her for something else, the same result would of happened.  If she feels porn is bad but its ok to get her drug dealer friends involved to poison you, she is a piece of shit.  I don't care she was disgusted with you or porn, that is fine, but the proper reaction is for her to dump you and move on if she can't handle it.  You didn't do anything to her.  Sorry if I crossed any boundaries talking about her, but this is just fucked up and sickening. 

Anyways, good luck, just don't lay down and die, keep fighting and moving on.  That is all you can do and that strength will come from within.  You CAN do it, regardless of what "permanent" problems you may encounter, which at this point, you don't know if there will be any.

[lte]

I'm sorry to hear of your problems. No one deserves what you've been through. Give yourself a little time, you'll be amazed by how much things can improve.

[jonnymortal]

the poison she gave me was white phosphorous, its an ingredient found in matches(I've researched it and they can use matches to make meth).  So these guys concentrated the white phosphorous from the matches and then got me to eat the stuff.  What sucks is white phosphorous deforms your bones and there isn't anything a doctor can do about deformed bones.

[zarthustra]

Sorry to hear of your difficulties.

I hope you won't give up.  I wonder if you could find a detoxification protocol that could work?   I KNOW that there are many different powerful and effective protocols for detoxification, it's just a matter of you finding what will work for you. 

Please don't give up!  And will you please keep us posted here?