Tried Therapy.

[WoundedSparrow]

After an emotional breakdown after work one day to to my complete and utter misery being stuck at my job and in the life I've made for myself, I decided to seek a therapist. I had one session with him earlier this week. Told him of my porn addiction and everything it's done to me. He didn't believe I was an addict since I wasn't obsessively looking at porn throughout the day, and none of the porn I do watch is far into fetish territory or illegal. He said my chronic porn use sounded completely normal. He didn't believe the side effects in my brain were of concern, or that they weren't related to porn. I sadly realized he couldn't help me.

Before our session concluded, he said something plainly that I found disturbing: "I'm happily married and I masturbate to porn." It was at that moment that I knew for a fact that he could never help me. He doesn't even understand his own unhealthy use of porn inside a marriage and he only believes in a specific definition of porn addiction, despite studying addiction for over half a decade. I thanked him for his time, but told him I didn't believe he could help me. He seemed saddened by this, even hurt by it, and encouraged me to reconsider or seek a different therapist. He bid me farewell and I left.

He did help me, however. I told him I was stuck in a rut in life and had little to no energy or desire to improve. He told me it sounded to him like depression. That made something click. My misery in my head and in life is an illusion created by chronic porn use over the course of 7 years. Porn has always been my primary concern, but it seems clear to me that it's the lynchpin that holds all of my current problems together. Destroy porn, and every other issue I face will fall into place. I feel newly motivated to better myself and my lot in life. My therapist couldn't understand me, but he helped my understand myself better. I'm not sure how long this new wave of motivation will last, but I'm going to ride it as long as I can. I feel as though I have a new lease on life to ring in the new year with.

[Inkogniko]

Oh no , I am sorry for your bad therapeutic experiences. The therapist thought that your problem was not PMO itself , but the "irational guilt" of doing it and want you to talk out
of that. We know that is bullshit.

I don't know how the system in your countrie works (i am from germany) but here is a big line between two kind of therapist.

One studied psychology and than make the training for a psychological therapist that is coverd by insurance. Most of them are really not good , because everything they
know is from studying.

The other are learning humanistic methodes like gestalttherapy , bioenergetics , narm , family constellations and so on and have a lot of therapy done for themselfes. There are not coverd by insurance and most of them are really good.

Maybe you find one of the later.

[WoundedSparrow]

The therapist thought that your problem was not PMO itself , but the "irational guilt" of doing it and want you to talk out
of that. We know that is bullshit.

This is exactly correct. He focused entirely on why I felt guilt and didn't believe PMO was the cause of much of my mental issues. He assumed guilt had caused it all which, in your own words, is bullshit. He asked, "Why do you feel like you don't deserve to experience sexual pleasure?" That's not the problem. While I am a religious man and believe it to be immoral, that's got nothing to do with the objective horrific problems thrust into my mind by PMO. Porn is the source of my life's misery almost entirely. Quitting it is my utmost priority. I am committed to becoming a better man, the one I know I can and should be.

[CapoReboot]

Please don't be discouraged because of one bad therapist. Try to seek a better one in your area.

[Hgdo78]

i found Men Therapy toronto i am usinf them right now and so far so good.

[Pdub]

Every therapist I have worked with is "sex positive" and they all will tell you there is nothing wrong with porn use.  Keep in mind that many of the therapists out there are from a previous generation that did not grow up with high speed internet and vast quantities of porn available for free online.  In a way, they are a quaint relic from an easier time.

I would say it may be better to be honest up front before you schedule any time with a therapist.  Ask them if they have heard of porn addiction and whether they believe it is a real thing.  Their answer should be enough to make your decision.

[Murgatroyd]

The YBOP web site has a section about how to train your therapist.  Might be handy!  If it was me I would figure out how to get screened for depression and if I was suffering from depression I would see about getting help for depression. I'm a believer in better living through chemistry, and would at least see if there are any meds that could help me get straightened out.  However let me also say "I know that's easy for ME to say."  I encourage you to explore the vast knowledgbase about depression.

Surfing, I found this well-known psychologist whose papers I have seen before, called Rob Weiss.  He definitely is on the "porn is addicting" spectrum, and has a pile of videos - but I'm guessing some or most of them are pretty much geared to fishing for clients.  However, he offers a free weekly live webinar.  I am considering doing it just to find out more about what he's really made of. 

I really liked Pdub's suggestion that you should take a potential therapist's pulse on whether they think porn addiction is real. It is polarizing in their business, and you should have no trouble getting a real clear answer one way or the other.

I am only starting my reboot journey, and I am personally skeptical that there is anything "wrong" with me, but I am giving my wife the benefit of the doubt in an effort to hold onto my marriage.