Author Topic: Today ONE YEAR CLEAN!  (Read 337 times)

Zeca

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Today ONE YEAR CLEAN!
« on: November 09, 2020, 11:07:20 AM »
Warning: I respect all humans and their faith. I am a Christian and my report is based on facts that happened to me, my culture and belief.

One year ago in november 9th, I started the trip to be a new man and I decided to quit with porn and masturbation. I used to do it every day since I was 10 yo ... I'm 27 now. So it was 17y of slavery. I tried other times but never was effective because the target was not right. I'm Christian and I tried to stop before, to get close to God. And I was wrong about It. Reading the bible for the first time I discovered that God because of His promise, already close to me, whatever I was doing. This time I focused on my health and being free of porn effect.
I had an amazing relationship with a girl and we broke up because of my condition. She felt like I was cheating her and I couldn't see that I was really doing it. I didn't want it to happen again and I needed to change.

 The first days weren't so hard, I started to go walking and deleted all porn things in my life. But the second month, things got a little crazy. In the middle of the second month, I was about to do it again, all what my body wanted was to return to the old pleasure and stimulus. At the same time when I was about to fail, Youtube recommended to me A TED talk video about Porn Addiction (PA) ... I cried so much when I saw it. I wasn't alone in all this trip. I don't believe in coincidences, I'm sure that was God helping me. After the video I started to search for more information, and I discovered the videos from Gabe Deem (THANK YOU) and the Reboot Nation! Then I realized that I really had a condition and I had all the guidance to get through everything. To see someone that had already reached the end of the tunnel gave me hope. I knew that I must:
- Quit all porn things
- Have some physical stimulation (gym, walk, running, swimming ...)
- Have someone to talk about it.
- Manage my extra time.
- Take care of possible visual triggers.
- Get ready for the blackout.

Well the blackout… It punched me in February after 120 days clean. I got depressed, I felt very bad, I had suicidal thoughts, and the quarantine came too. So I couldn’t leave. It was just me and myself hahaha. Some days I got very angry, I just wanted to hit things. I literally hit the wall many times, other times was my bed or pillow. After 160 days I started to have panic attacks, and I felt like I was dying. I prayed to God that He could take me if He wanted, but I didn’t want to return to the condition that I was. I didn’t want to take any medicine or other drugs because it was exactly what my body wanted, something to substitute the PA. I got some extra weight. I was with 95 Kg when it all started and went to 107kg on my worst days. Things got better close to day 310. It was a very rough trip… It is not easy at all.

One thing I can tell you, IT IS WORTHIE! My body changed, my mind changed, all my routine changed. My body started to grow hair where it didn't have before, I got more muscles, I have more time to do things that I need. I'm losing fat like never before. I’m 101 Kg now but with more muscles. I'm sure more things are about to come, it's just one year of experience. Wet dreams are common now. It happens almost all week, be ready for that.

And to celebrate it, I want to give you some advices that helped me pass through all this:
1. It's your fault that you fail. It is not the environment or the situations around you. You have to understand and confess this to be able to proceed.

2. Exclude everything sensual and pornographic from your life. Defines that there is no turning back.

3. The will to do always comes. But it's up to you to choose between having a different life or staying the same. It will hurt more than you think. It's the same thing as holding your breath under water but you can't breathe because you don't want to. You will have to choose death in that case.

4. You will fail if you think you can get clean by yourself. Realize that you are weak and human, these feelings and desires are normal to your flesh. The only way to win is to ask the Holy Spirit to help you get off that desire and feeling out. Help will be instantaneous.

5. Count the days it was clean. Mark day 0 on your calendar.

6. Conversations with sexual and erotic themes will take you to a critical state, it will take weeks to stabilize again.

7. Read the Bible. Jesus will be your greatest partner on this journey. Remember, you are human and flawed. You are not perfect. Understand your limitations and put limits on yourself.

8. When using social networks, be careful with erotic / sensual photos and videos that may appear. It's inevitable. To get rid of this, use your thumb (fingers or hand) as your protection. Do this with films and other visual stimulation.

I hope this text can help someone here. Remember that you are not alone.

Zeca.

quitforeverthenwin2

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Re: Today ONE YEAR CLEAN!
« Reply #1 on: November 09, 2020, 11:35:24 AM »
Way to go Zeca! Keep up the good work.

Remember to keep doing what you are doing.

I think an issue with people quitting porn is people underestimate it like " 90 days I am good now!". I am learning a lot from hearing people who beat other addicitons in those circles they consider the first year or more the action phase then like years of maitanence after that

Zeca

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Re: Today ONE YEAR CLEAN!
« Reply #2 on: November 09, 2020, 12:30:12 PM »
Thank you! I respect this like any other addiction. So I keep distance of everything related. For example, I tried to watch the serie The Boys because everyone was talking about it. I stopped at the first episode hahaha. And I recommend everyone to not watch it. A LOT of triggers. It's a new way of life to get a better life quality :)

Chris Oz

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Re: Today ONE YEAR CLEAN!
« Reply #3 on: November 11, 2020, 07:43:03 AM »
Thanks man.your Post is really helpful. I just hoarded up some erotic pics I came accros today on telegram. Got to go clean house.

Zeca

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Re: Today ONE YEAR CLEAN!
« Reply #4 on: November 11, 2020, 09:27:16 AM »
That is it Chris :) That is the beginning. It's your decision to make it happen! Congratulation!

Zeca

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408 days
« Reply #5 on: December 22, 2020, 10:42:13 AM »
Well... 408 days.... This week has been very hard... My body wants so much to return to the dark hole  that I was... I think that I'll have to live with this feeling... It's not easy... My life is really better now indeed. And I want to stay this way. Clean! For sure I would had fall if I had any porn content in my devices. Get rid of it is the path.

Chris Oz

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Re: Today ONE YEAR CLEAN!
« Reply #6 on: December 24, 2020, 06:24:05 AM »
Wow that's great man. 408 is a lot. Don't lose it all to some temporary pleasure....keep pushing.