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Journal - laneboy

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laneboy:
Hello everybody,

I'm here because I started watching porn i think 10 years ago. I say "I think" because i'm not sure. What I know is that it started really slowly, even if it started with high speed porn. At the time I was confused by my sexuality, I thought i was gay (now I know I'm bi) and I used porn to hide myself and my sexuality in front of others.
I don't remember when it became a routine, but that is what happened. And I think I increased my "tolerance" (I don't know how else to say that but I think you know what I mean).
Last year, I first realized I could have a problem with porn: I had my first boyfriend, and I couldn't get physically fully aroused, but mentally I was. The first time I blamed it on anxiety. It happened again, I blamed it on something else. And so on. Then I decided to stop porn, I made it for a week or two, I relapsed. It happened few times, I think because I was not fully convinced about my porn addiction.
Now I am. The last time I had sex I could not get aroused, by nothing my (now) ex-boyfriend made, and I found this site and YBOP.
Today is the 12th day without porn, and I feel like I'm doing nothing that improved my condition. It was extremely hard these days because I have to study on my PC and porn is just one new window away.
Thank you for reading this, please for today I need suggestion on how to face this huge unavoidable trigger.

Legend:
Try a service like Covenant eyes. If your computer is your main trigger point, it's best to alter the availability of websites since you are always one click away from a setback.

davideyar:
Hello man. Welcome to RN. One thing that helps me avoid porn is always keeping in mind what harm it can do to you and remembering what it has already done to your (sex) life. When I get the urge to view porn, I always always try to think of what the bad effects it would have on me if I clicked on it right then and there. That usually does the trick and it stops me from clicking altogether.

Taking a break when you have the urge also helps. Maybe your brain is just tired from studying and it's looking for some stimulus but you must not give it a sexual stimulus like porn. Go do some stretching and a little workout for some physical stimulus instead. Hope this helps!

We're close together as well I'm on day 16. Good luck bro!

davideyar:
It's not a relapse because at least you're getting rid of potential triggers in the future. :)

Yes, you should have a counter something. I use a calendar I got from a grocery store in January. There's a certain satisfaction in crossing off a day of NoPMO, in my opinion. When you see a visual representation of your progress, it helps with keeping the streak up.

davideyar:
Nice bro. Spontaneous erections means that you're heading to the right direction. Keep it up!

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