It was 4 years ago that I cancelled my sex webcam accounts and deleted the collection of videos and photos I had assembled over years. I remember thinking at the time that I was losing my “friends”, but in retrospect, I find this really pitiful (calling a photo of a naked stranger a friend), because my real friend -- my wife -- was the one who had been losing throughout. PIED had fully set in and I was a limp excuse for a husband and lover.
So I got rid of the triggers, I moved my home office to a less private location, and began counting days and logging my thoughts and feelings in this forum on a regular basis. That is the formula – pretty simple. Along the way, I engaged with many others who were in similar situations and had the opportunity for dialogue with them to learn and for mutual support.
It took me just a few months to see some early results –morning woods after a couple of months for example – but it would be misleading to give a generic timetable to undo PIED, I am sure we are all different that way. The interim positive signs were encouraging, however, and the resulting self-confidence a contributing factor to the healing.
At first I had to fight to resist the urge, but it became easier over time. After a year in this program, I had eradicated any urge to PMO and regain a sexual ardor I had long thought impossible (and, apparently, re-awakened my wife after menopause and chemotherapy had slowed our conjugal life to a lifeless crawl). It is hard to compare the present to the past after all the life changes and our own aging bodies in the interim. However, looking back, 4 years later, I never expected that sex would be this good, or even possible, at 71 years old.
I have been a regular visitor to this forum to remind myself never to slip back – you have to be vigilant with addiction -- as well as to provide support to others when I can. So, my friends, thanks again to those who helped along the way. To all readers, please stick with the program. It works. As per our friend lyon03 – “porn is not an option!”
