Author Topic: Relapse?  (Read 693 times)

Nath1099

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Relapse?
« on: August 08, 2020, 06:21:46 PM »
I was flirting with this girl on one of my social media’s and she randomly sends me erotic photos and I look at them for about 10 seconds and felt to urge to MO but didn’t I didn’t even touch down there. Does this count as a relapse

AStansfield

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Re: Relapse?
« Reply #1 on: August 08, 2020, 06:34:09 PM »
You will get conflicting opinions on whether it is or not.

I would argue no - if it was truly 10 seconds and you truly didn't mean mean for it happen then I wouldn't count it against you.

If you go to the gym or to the beach and see attractive women in sports wear/bikinis, would you count that as a relapse? Obviously not. To be truly pornographic is to be entirely artificial and near predatory in nature where your dopamine circuitry is concerned.

From this point on however I would recommend caution and in general just to avoid these kinds of situations.

hopeful2

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Re: Relapse?
« Reply #2 on: August 09, 2020, 06:47:14 AM »
I'm gonna agree with astansfield on this. It isn't relapse, I would argue further and say unless you MOd to the images you aren't providing the usual stimulation to your brain associated with PMO. It is still advisable to delete those pics and avoid these until you are fully rebooted and you can handle digital imagery. There are some who would argue that the fact that you maintained control is a good way to rewire your brain by providing new pathways. But it is extremely high risk, best to stick with the program.

Icandoit

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Re: Relapse?
« Reply #3 on: August 09, 2020, 07:15:20 AM »
I was flirting with this girl on one of my social media’s and she randomly sends me erotic photos and I look at them for about 10 seconds and felt to urge to MO but didn’t I didn’t even touch down there. Does this count as a relapse

I like to consider 2 types of triggers: Intentional and accidental. With intentional, I think it's clear: We must avoid searching for porn and porn substitutes intentionally. Then we also need a strategy for accidental triggers - Triggers that we saw by mistake. What I do is close it immediately. If you keep starring at it, you set yourself up for failure.

Nath1099

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Re: Relapse?
« Reply #4 on: August 09, 2020, 07:46:16 AM »
Thank you very much for your answers/opinions it means a lot.I have been rebooting since June 22 no PMO and no MO so I am doing well curing from my ED. I am so glad I don’t feel the urge to relapse or watch PMO but when I viewed those photos I did feel a huge rush.

Also how will I know if I am fully rebooted? Because I think I have gone to my normal size flaccid and get a lot more random erections  :P
« Last Edit: August 09, 2020, 07:49:14 AM by Nath1099 »

hopeful2

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Re: Relapse?
« Reply #5 on: August 09, 2020, 08:10:59 AM »
Haha, I'll let you know when I've rebooted. I've been going haywire for the past month and I've been off PMO for 45 days, all it takes is a text from a female friend.

I think there is no magic number, and that's part of the process. You just gotta keep going and it will become a part of you.

Nath1099

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Re: Relapse?
« Reply #6 on: August 09, 2020, 08:48:13 AM »
What are the signs that the reboot is working though? On Day 49. I wonder when I can test it on a girl and be okay

Nath1099

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Re: Relapse?
« Reply #7 on: August 09, 2020, 08:50:50 AM »
The things I do feel are:
More energy
Feel more manly
Gained confidence
Random erections



Nath1099

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Re: Relapse?
« Reply #8 on: August 09, 2020, 08:53:59 AM »
Also is the only way you can mess up your progress by MO?

AStansfield

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Re: Relapse?
« Reply #9 on: August 09, 2020, 10:07:24 AM »
I'm around the same progress in nofap as you, and I'm feeling much of the same.

My personal metric for being 100% "cured"/fully rebooted is going to be when I get into a relationship and I see how I stand sexually comparing before and after.

As for "messing up progress" - I relapsed 5 weeks ago with a very strong chaser effect (no porn involved) and to be honest I don't feel like my progress reset completely. Every day you abstain from porn/fapping is getting you farther along - stumbling makes you stop but it doesn't take you all the way back to the starting line.

hopeful2

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Re: Relapse?
« Reply #10 on: August 09, 2020, 03:27:13 PM »
Yea I'm agreeing with astansfield again. Just had a major chaser today, I had no interest in P, and the fantasy was pretty innocent. I don't feel the same grossness compared to when I used to watch P. I just felt annoyed that I couldn't control myself. Which is a long way for me. I used to get proper depressed. What you describe btw with more confidence and stuff is good, but it's still recovery stage since that's also where I am..just keep going eye on the prize.

hopeful2

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Re: Relapse?
« Reply #11 on: August 09, 2020, 03:29:18 PM »
Also keep writing! It will keep you accountable. You are doing well.

Nath1099

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Re: Relapse?
« Reply #12 on: August 09, 2020, 04:47:50 PM »
thanks guys you’re all so helpful  :D