Thanks both,I don't think there's a right or wrong / 'one size fits all' here. We are all different. Whilst I decided not to tell my wife, my circumstances are unique - there are similarities with Joe, but we're not the same, albeit we came to the same decision. Your circumstances are also unique Shade, and you've come to a different answer - one that's right for you.I think what matters here, and that I think we all agree on is that the goal is to reboot, and to cease the damaging behaviour - whatever our motivation may be to do it. How we get there, is less important.What's evident reading your journal Shade, is that via your openness you have been given the reassurance from your wife that she still loves you. Yes, it has probably caused some hurt that Joe and I have avoided by not sharing, but that doesn't mean it's wrong/weaker etc. As you kick this (which I believe you will), you've got a strong foundation of openness and understanding to start to build your relationship into something beautiful. The openness that you have developed with your wife should really help achieve this - if you hadn't have shared it may have been more difficult to do this? What do you think?In any case - irrespective of whether we share with our wives or not, we ARE all 'manning up and facing our problems' not alone but together - Joe's not doing it alone, and neither am I, as we all have each other here. I feel really optimistic that my choice to share here is a real enabler to success that I've been missing for many years. Together we can do this! Cheers
Cheers Shade - I’m pleased to report success today. I guarantee, before I found this group, I’d have 100% relapsed today. Plus, I’ve made it to 14 days. Going to bed feeling happy and a little bit proud (but not complacent!) All the best!