Author Topic: No PMO until Christmas ? Yes I can!  (Read 1627 times)

Mr Freeze

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No PMO until Christmas ? Yes I can!
« on: December 01, 2019, 12:10:21 PM »
DAY 1

Hi guys,

I created an account here a couple of years ago, but I can't remember my username, nor can I remember the mail address I created exclusively for this forum. It doesn't really matter, I'm starting frow scratch, so why not create a new account.

I'll make this first post short. I want to stop using pmo. I believe it's the major component in my life's difficulties. I suffer from social anxiety, I became irresponsible and lazy as fu**, I can't connect with people (or it takes a looot of time, and people who are patient and have some emotional intelligence) , my social interactions with people  I don't really know are super awkward. Plus, I suffer from PIED (is that a surprise on this forum?!  :P)

It's crazy to think I would be 2 or 3 years PMO free, today, if I had been able to stop the day I realized it was hurtful. Juste like tons of people here, I managed to stop for 2 weeks here, 1 week here and there, but I always relapsed. I'm pretty sure I managed to stop for 3 weeks only once in my life. It it was great. Even after just 2 weeks, last summer, I was more confident, more charismatic, more empathetic, more productive at work, I slept much better... It's crazy to be unable to stop doing something  that I recognize as being so toxic to me.

I managed to quit smoking last summer. It was really hard, but it's a piece of cake compared to the pmo addiction.

Back in February, I stopped for 2 weeks and my family (they don't live in the same city) came to see me. My sister was like "damned something changed for the better, there's something different in you!". And indeed, I felt much better (not like the zombie I usually am). I was present, relaxed, open to discussion, curious about everything, thirsty for knowledge.
I'll spend this Christmas with my family. I really want to be joyful and present with them. Not the melancholic zombie I currently am.

25 days, I can do that! And maybe the whole month of December?

See you soon, for an update !

Mr Freeze

Freedomisworthit

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Re: No PMO until Christmas ? Yes I can!
« Reply #1 on: December 01, 2019, 02:47:30 PM »
We are here for you brother at Reboot nation.  Most definitely, the majority of your symptoms are related to PMO.  Quitting the stuff is a lifestyle change, one that you can do - taking it one day at a time while your brain rewires itself.  I'm excited to see how your journey progresses forward!

BlueHeronFan

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Re: No PMO until Christmas ? Yes I can!
« Reply #2 on: December 01, 2019, 07:42:03 PM »
You can definitely do it! 25 days sounds like a really manageable starting goal, and we are definitely here to support you through it. Plus, it sounds like you have a really good motivation.

Don't worry too much about the relapses and stuff in the past. What matters is that you're getting back at it now. And you have the experience of putting one experience in its place by quitting smoking, so you have knowledge and experience that you didn't have before. Everything that has come before has given you a chance to learn and grow, so nothing is wasted.

Go get 'em! We've got your back!

Mr Freeze

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Re: No PMO until Christmas ? Yes I can!
« Reply #3 on: December 14, 2019, 05:17:50 AM »
 

You can definitely do it! 25 days sounds like a really manageable starting goal, and we are definitely here to support you through it. Plus, it sounds like you have a really good motivation.

Don't worry too much about the relapses and stuff in the past. What matters is that you're getting back at it now. And you have the experience of putting one experience in its place by quitting smoking, so you have knowledge and experience that you didn't have before. Everything that has come before has given you a chance to learn and grow, so nothing is wasted.

Go get 'em! We've got your back!
3rd
Hi BlueHeronFan ! Thanks for your support, man! I didn' t take time to reply ambyt I saw your comment at the very beginning and it boosted my motivation!

As you say, I can't stay frustrated about the past relapses. Each relapse is a useful experience to learn from. Plus every time I stop pmo, even if I only manage 2 days before relapsing, well 2 days without pmo is still better than 2 days with pmo... :)

I hope you stay motivated as well, I'll check out your journal soon, to give you support!

Mr Freeze

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Re: No PMO until Christmas ? Yes I can!
« Reply #4 on: December 14, 2019, 05:29:18 AM »
We are here for you brother at Reboot nation.  Most definitely, the majority of your symptoms are related to PMO.  Quitting the stuff is a lifestyle change, one that you can do - taking it one day at a time while your brain rewires itself.  I'm excited to see how your journey progresses forward!

Hi Freedomisworthit! Thanks for your kind words!
I love your username, it says it all. Freedom at the end of the road is worth the harsh times we're living with this reboot. We can forget, from time to time, why we have to stay disciplined with our reboot... After all, we're used to getting our immediate treat, every day, and it's as good as cocaïne for our brain... So it's hard to project in the future and remind oneself that we're suffering right now to feel better, not now, but in the future!

Stay strong mate, and thanks again for your support!  ;)

Freedomisworthit

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Re: No PMO until Christmas ? Yes I can!
« Reply #5 on: December 14, 2019, 01:46:47 PM »
I couldn't agree more Mr. Freeze.  Walking through the withdrawal symptoms (headaches, depression, brain fog, difficulty concentrating, irritability, low-dopamine levels) is worth the well-earned quality of life we seek.   One day a time, it is achievable to break the vicious PMO cycle and find deep purpose, joy, and direction in our lives.  Thanks for supporting me and your compliments.  Keep moving forward Mr. Freeze!

BlueHeronFan

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Re: No PMO until Christmas ? Yes I can!
« Reply #6 on: December 14, 2019, 07:11:50 PM »

3rd
Hi BlueHeronFan ! Thanks for your support, man! I didn' t take time to reply ambyt I saw your comment at the very beginning and it boosted my motivation!

As you say, I can't stay frustrated about the past relapses. Each relapse is a useful experience to learn from. Plus every time I stop pmo, even if I only manage 2 days before relapsing, well 2 days without pmo is still better than 2 days with pmo... :)

I hope you stay motivated as well, I'll check out your journal soon, to give you support!

Thanks, man, I appreciate your support, and I'm glad to hear my post was helpful.

I hope you're doing really well. Christmas is getting very close, so keep pressing forward!

Mr Freeze

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Re: No PMO until Christmas ? Yes I can!
« Reply #7 on: May 16, 2020, 03:51:42 AM »
Hi every one,

5 months

5 months. It's been 5 months since I last wrote a post here. It's always hard to come back here after a failure. And the longer one waits,  the harder it gets to motivate oneself to come back.

It's time for me to give another try to this no-PMO challenge. Time to be more disciplined, more confident about my strength to fight this addiction...  And I really need to stop being lazy and to start writing updates in my journal at least once a week. That's the purpose of this forum,  that's how it helps us more efficiently.

A positive note - Success of the "not-before-Christmas challenge"

At least I successfully realized my challenge and did even better than expected. Back in December 1st, i created this account with the goal of not PMO-ing before Christmas. And I didn't PMO from that time until early in the morning of December 31st.

That's a 30-days streak, probably my all-time record,  and I'm so
 proud of it!

Now,  I plan to beat it.
Let's set the goal date: no PMO until June 21st,  the music day.
Parameters:  no PMO hardmode (no P,  no M,  No nothing). (The


It should be easier this time. The weather Is much nicer than in December.

I Hope all of you guys are doing great.

Talk to You soon.






quitforeverthenwin2

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Re: No PMO until Christmas ? Yes I can!
« Reply #8 on: May 16, 2020, 07:14:04 AM »
That's great that you achieved your initial challenge! You can achieve this one as well, you already did 30 days, you can use that experience and do this and then keep going onward from there

Mr Freeze

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Re: No PMO until Christmas ? Yes I can!
« Reply #9 on: May 17, 2020, 05:35:32 AM »
Thanks for the support,  quitforeverthenwin2!

Mr Freeze

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Re: No PMO until Christmas ? Yes I can!
« Reply #10 on: May 17, 2020, 05:38:57 AM »
Day 1 update:
- day 1 went fine
- weirdly,  i got a bit arroused fantasizing about this girl I like at work (by "weirdly",  I mean I expected that to happen,  but not that early)
- I forgot to mention that in my previous post,  but I have to remind myself that Peeking is the one act that has always lead to a relapse!  I must not peek!

Mr Freeze

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Re: No PMO until Christmas ? Yes I can!
« Reply #11 on: May 18, 2020, 12:22:03 AM »
Day 2

I just woke,  ready to start my 3rd day.

The day 2 went pretty well, but last night was awful. It didn't come as a surprise, as I expect all of the nights to come for the next week to be like that.

At least,  it wasn't a completely sleepless night. I woke up a lot for prolonged time,  and most of all,  it felt like my brain was super active even when I was sleeping.
That's exhaustive,  but that's a necessary step to repair my brain. According to my experience of reboots,  I know that once the inevitable period of shity nights is over,  I will sleep much better than before I started the reboot.

Stay strong everyone.




Mr Freeze

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Re: No PMO until Christmas ? Yes I can!
« Reply #12 on: May 19, 2020, 09:22:42 PM »
Back to square 1, start of day 1

I said  "I must not peek" 2 days ago, didn't I?
But I didn't apply the rule and it screwed me.

I have to say I didn't expect to be weak that fast.
Anyway,  I'm not going for a 5-months relapse this Time.

The new reboot starts now.


faenoe

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Re: No PMO until Christmas ? Yes I can!
« Reply #13 on: May 19, 2020, 10:23:02 PM »
Hey Mr Freeze,

I will join you on your goal of mid-June completely sober. It's going to be tough, but that is what you're asking for if you want to change your life. Let's do this man. Peeking is an illusion of satisfaction as much as full pmo is. Peeking never makes it easier to avoid a full-on relapse. Remember this.

Mr Freeze

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Re: No PMO until Christmas ? Yes I can!
« Reply #14 on: May 23, 2020, 04:26:24 AM »
DAY 5

I'm starting this 5th day in a positive mood. It's warm and sunny outside,  i can hear the birds singing,  people mowing their lawn far away. It smells like summer and I love it. This time of year has always been great for my mood,  and that'll make my NO-PMO challenge much easier.

interestingly fucked up dreams

It does not come as a surprise that I would start having PMO-related dreams,  but still,  it's kind of crazy when you think about it.
In the first night (already!) after I started my current reboot,  I was already dreaming about watching PMO. And the following night, I was dreaming about fooling around with a P-star.
It feels like my craving addicted brain Is telling me,  via dreams,  "what the fu** man,  you stopped feeding me?!  I neeeeeed my fix man! "

It shows how addicted I am.  It shows how crucial it is for me to stop consuming P compulsively.


Mr Freeze

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Re: No PMO until Christmas ? Yes I can!
« Reply #15 on: May 23, 2020, 05:25:00 AM »
Hey Mr Freeze,

I will join you on your goal of mid-June completely sober. It's going to be tough, but that is what you're asking for if you want to change your life. Let's do this man. Peeking is an illusion of satisfaction as much as full pmo is. Peeking never makes it easier to avoid a full-on relapse. Remember this.

Hey faenoe,  thank you for your support man!  I understand if you stay strong until mid-june,  you'll reach the famous and strongly desired level of 90 days pmo-free. That's pretty incredible,  I really want you to succeed!

I can tell you the no-peeking rule is really helping me. 
The problems with peeking are:
- even if I avoid pmo-ing,  my addicted brain will never be clean of this disease if I don't stop peeking
- I know perfectly well that for my tricky brain,  the "innocent" peeking is really just an excuse to look for that one great video that will be so stimulating I won't be able to resist pmo-ing to it.
- peeking is just cheating myself by pretending I'm not doing anything wrong. And I know that if I find that one video I can't resist,  I'll just tell myself "well you've been watching P for one hour,  is that so bad to conclude all of this with a PMO? "


faenoe

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Re: No PMO until Christmas ? Yes I can!
« Reply #16 on: May 26, 2020, 04:47:45 PM »
Hey Freeze, I hope the journey is going well for you. I have had a very difficult past couple of days but I'm here instead of online looking at porn. That has been my biggest changing factor during my recovery. I get hit by porn urges around the beginning of every week and the best way I have had of dealing with them is to hop on the forum. Reading about the battles that other people on here are going through help me remember the truth: porn leaves you more empty and broken inside every time you use it. I am writing this not because my brain has fully accepted it but because I hope it will some day. I hope to one day become free from the urges. But that comes fighting one day at a time. Seriously, it is a fight.

faenoe

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Re: No PMO until Christmas ? Yes I can!
« Reply #17 on: May 27, 2020, 06:24:52 PM »
Sorry Freeze, I won't be able to join you at the finish line. Today I relapsed