Author Topic: PROJECT RESTART - Going Into A Personal NoFap Lockdown - DAY 32 COMPLETED  (Read 3719 times)

Doctor Who

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DAY 16 - COMPLETED

Back to another long shift at work. Had a few urges during my break, and even a little sign of a semi. Quickly dissipated, though. Didn't sleep great, and that led me to feeling spaced out, like I would after masturbation.

To be honest, I feel like I'm on Day 3. Not much has improved feeling wise, and it is annoying me a bit. I definitely think it's some sort of flatline, or withdrawal. I do remind myself though, that I've earmarked a minimum of 60 days to complete a Nofap streak, and a maximum of 17 months for healing, so 16 days is literally an atom in an ocean.
« Last Edit: June 16, 2020, 12:46:29 PM by Doctor Who »
DAY 32 COMPLETED

Doctor Who

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DAY 17 - COMPLETED

Not much to report. Feel the same as usual! Lol.
DAY 32 COMPLETED

Sanders

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Looking good, if you're feeling shit it's a sign that you're moving forward :) Better times will come, you just have to teach your brains and body that there's more good things in life than PMO.

Doctor Who

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Looking good, if you're feeling shit it's a sign that you're moving forward :) Better times will come, you just have to teach your brains and body that there's more good things in life than PMO.

Definitely feeling it, mate. Today, I was an absolute mess. Memory was all over the place. Had a test to do at work, and barely passed. A plus side was that my voice, although still raspy, was definitely stronger today, and more people were talking to me than usual.

Thanks for your comment. :)
DAY 32 COMPLETED

Doctor Who

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DAY 19 - COMPLETED

Many urges today.While watching a few programmes with some attractive women, I felt the sonic screwdriver begin to get hard. Never happened prior to starting this, so in a way, quite positive that there's actually a sort of reaction taking place.

Going to have the house to myself tomorrow all day and night going into Sunday. A big test for me, as when this used to happen, I'd shower, get my laptop set on my bed, and edge for literally 10-12 hours. I wouldn't even eat. Just drink, toilet, and masturbate.

Also suspecting that one of the nootropics I'm taking is causing me these headaches. Not too sure yet, so I'll have to decide how I'm going to approach this.
DAY 32 COMPLETED

Doctor Who

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DAY 20 - COMPLETED

By far the toughest day urges wise. Had the house to myself, and I really felt those urges coming through, the tension in my limbs, the real desire to just masturbate to porn and release.

I really feel awful. Just tired, aching everywhere, stressed from work physically and mentally. I've eaten well, stayed hydrated, but I feel tense, angry, depressed, fed up of feeling this way.

Meh.
DAY 32 COMPLETED

Doctor Who

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DAY 21 - COMPLETED

Narrowed down the list of suspects of which nootropics is causing me headaches. Also been creating a plan on weening off them over the next 5-6 months, as I was using them before Nofap.

Getting so many urges now, that it's tough. My longest streaks in the past have been roughly 20-30 days, so I'm not surprised that right now, I'm struggling, as it seems to be a maximum limit. Nevertheless, that feeling post-masturbation remains strong in my memory, and so does my desire to manifest a better life. I need this power of nofap and semen retention.
DAY 32 COMPLETED

Doctor Who

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DAY 22 - COMPLETED

A bit of a weird day for me, really. Came to a few realisations, as outlined below.

Actually made the conscious decision that I need to leave my job, and find something better for the sake of my sanity. I've been discussing this with a fellow colleague. We feel completely micromanaged, and unable to do anything with freedom. Even down to the words we say to people. My colleague has already broken down at work, and after a talk with the manager, felt glad it was out of her system, but nothing's changed. I thought that with Nofap, my feelings toward the job may have improved, that perhaps the constant negative feelings toward my job may have been as a result of masturbating all of the time. However, I've come to recognise that my negative feelings towards that job have been amplified. I even said to my colleague that if I was sacked tomorrow, I wouldn't care. A lot of people have been laid off across the country due to Covid-19, and I could put it down to that. I have significant savings, and want to reinvent myself. I do feel that I deserve so much better. The company has treated us like rubbish throughout lockdown. I've been classed as a key worker, and had no PPE for weeks, and manager/regional manager constantly on our backs every shift about not hitting targets, not saying things right, not offering millions of products to customers, forcing us to ask customers what they want before entering the store. Now non-essential services are open, we were led to believe that was over, but nope, we still have to do it. This isn't because of customer safety. This is because of a KPI that measures how many people come into the store and the number of transactions made. So the less shopping browsers, and the more actualy buyers, the more impressive it appears, as it looks as though we've persuaded most people to buy things, but the reality is we've turned them away before they can enter.

Also made a decision on the nootropics. I'm going to finish my current batch, which should finish on Day 60, and the rest on Day 90, and that's it. I won't purchase another batch and try to ween off them. Since different products will finish at different points between Days 60-90, I feel that'd be a sort of weening off period anyway.

My overall feeling today is I deserve a better life. I feel angry at the rubbish around me. I want to get rid of it, sweep it away, and become a new man.
DAY 32 COMPLETED

Doctor Who

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DAY 23 - COMPLETED

Found out my manager's leaving, and that I'll be working all sorts of hours until the new manager starts. In the past, whenever I've been exhausted, I've suffered from wet dreams. As things stand, I've been doing very well not to have had any. Also the first significant change I'll have to deal with while on Nofap. No masturbating to porn to self-medicate the stress and anxiety from these changes.

Weather's roasting as well. Have a heatwave going on. Hate the heat, as I struggle to sleep! Oh well, another challenge to conquer!
DAY 32 COMPLETED

Doctor Who

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DAY 24 - COMPLETED

Not much to report today. Exhausted due to work and this heatwave. Feeling some energy, but not much.

I've finally noticed a slight change in my voice, that is consistent. Definitely seems slightly deeper, and clearer, as I'm no longer asked to repeat myself when speaking.
DAY 32 COMPLETED

Sanders

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Another succesful day for you :) I think this heatwave is getting to many of us, I sleep really bad at night. Since houses here are built to withstand winter and keep the heat in it's not too pleasurable when tempratures get around 30 degrees celcius. Tried cycling today but there was just no energy. Anyways, happy to see you're still doing really well! Keep it up!

Doctor Who

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DAY 25 - COMPLETED

A write-off today. Walked to work in this heat, and was absolutely exhausted when I arrived. My memory was utterly shocking, and I couldn't concentrate at all. Felt off all day. Nothing went right, and my colleagues picked up on my low mood.

I've read that coconut oil is brilliant for flatline purposes, so I might invest in some.
DAY 32 COMPLETED

Doctor Who

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DAY 26 - COMPLETED

Urges started to intensify today. I know it's all from the head, the need for a dopamine hit. Last day of muggy weather, thank goodness.

Everyday is sort of feeling the same at the moment. Even the counting of days seems to have slowed for me. Definitely need to find some enjoyment in something else. Watching TV, reading books, even listening to music doesn't give me joy anymore. Exercising used to make me feel good, but nothing. Zilch.

DAY 32 COMPLETED

Doctor Who

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DAY 27 - COMPLETED

Woke up this morning with the strongest urges ever. A boner, fantasies, the lot, but I refused to cave in.

I watch a video from Captain Sinbad's channel everyday to keep me going. He's an Indian-American aspiring actor, who started Nofap/semen retention, and posts videos, which have proven very useful. I found this on Reddit, but he also mentioned it in one of his videos. Apparently, according to yoga lore, it takes 35 days for a man's semen to replenish after an ejaculation. That is from the breakdown of food and all sorts into blood, bone marrow, etc. 35 days. And I'm 8 days away from that. There's also the mystical 40 days, which is used in Catholicism circles in terms of lent, to turn your mind.

I've also received my rota for work, and there's so many shifts, that relapsing and a loss of energy just isn't an option for me.
DAY 32 COMPLETED

AStansfield

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I'm on day 12 right now and I wanted to ask someone further along a question: when you do fantasize are they about porn or about women in your present/past life?

It's the worst at night when i'm trying to sleep - idle mind moves towards thinking about all the beautiful women in my student life. I read that you will fantasize about porn but that hasn't really occurred at all.

Doctor Who

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I'm on day 12 right now and I wanted to ask someone further along a question: when you do fantasize are they about porn or about women in your present/past life?

It's the worst at night when i'm trying to sleep - idle mind moves towards thinking about all the beautiful women in my student life. I read that you will fantasize about porn but that hasn't really occurred at all.

It's both porn and women from the past. I'm single right now. However, I try to do this like when someone meditates. You observe the thoughts, recognise they are there, and let them drift away. It then becomes more natural to think about something else, as I'm then in a calmer state.

I don't intentionally happens, but when those thoughts come, I don't try to think about something else straight away. That creates more tension, anger, and frustration for me, and in the past, that means relapses. I let it through my mind, and it does pass more quickly. I've also noticed that there's less detail in these thoughts when they occur, which can only be a good thing.
DAY 32 COMPLETED

Doctor Who

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DAY 28 - COMPLETED

Not much to report on. I thought I'd copy and paste this from the Nofap forum on understanding the importance of semen. It ties into what I've watched on Youtube from Captain Sinbad, and read on semen. Obviously, it's someone's thoughts and interpretation on materials, but it did interest me, and add to my motivation.

"Semen is only one percent sperm; the rest is composed of over 200 separate proteins, as well as vitamins and minerals including vitamin C, calcium, chlorine, citric acid, fructose, lactic acid, magnesium, nitrogen, phosphorus,potassium, sodium, vitamin B12, and zinc"

And all these nutrients are present in abundant quality. Loss of zinc causes acne and that's why many PMOers suffer from acne. Loss of calcium causes weak bone mass and that's why we suffer from low bone density.

In Hinduism, Lord Shiva says to Goddess Parvati ""O Parvati! What is there on this earth which cannot be accomplished if one has control over his sexual fluid?" That is, all powers reside at the divine feet of the Enlightened Urdhvareta (one who is able to sublimate his sexual energy through the practice of yoga). In fact, Siddhis (divine powers) become his facile servants. Such a Sadhaka can attain Self-Realisation within a short span of time. Even the gods (deities) have attained immortalitythrough Brahmacharya". Clearly it is mentioned here that a man who controls his semen can control anything. I completely agree.

How is semen formed?
According to Ayurveda, from the digested food chyle is formed. Out of chyle comesblood. Out of blood comes flesh. Out of flesh comes fat. Out of fat comes bone. Out of bone comes marrow. Out of marrow comes semen.Conversion of Dhatu at every step takes a period of five days. Thus semen is the last Dhatu that is formed out of food. It takes approximately 30 days and 4 hours to complete thiscycle. Scientists believe that an intake of 32 kgs. Of food produces 800 Gms. of blood, which in turn forms only 20Gms. of semen. Now, you can see how precious the semen is!... It's unimaginable how much our energy and time istaken to build this fluid.

What other societies and culture says?
Chinese theory says that "one drop of semen is ten drops of blood" :eek:

What Judaism says?
Semen constitutes the strength of the body, its life, and the light of the eyes. Its emission to excess causes physical decay, debility, and diminished vitality. Thus Solomon, in his wisdom, says: ‘Do not give your strength to women’ (Proverbs 31:3). Whoever indulges in sexual dissipation becomes prematurely aged; his strength fails; his eyes become dim; a foul odor proceeds from his mouth and armpits; thehair of his head, eyebrows, and eyelashes drop out; the hair of his beard, armpits, and legs grow abnormally; his teeth fall out; and besides these, he becomes subject to numerousother diseases. Medical authorities have stated that for each one who dies of other maladies, a thousand are the victims of sexual excess.

According to Aristotle, there is a direct connection between food and semen: "Sperms are the excretion of our food, or to put it more clearly, as the most perfect component of our food." I agree..semen is the best element of our food.


https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/understanding-the-importance-of-semen.163388/
DAY 32 COMPLETED

Doctor Who

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DAY 29 - COMPLETED

These urges are becoming intense now, but still have the willpower to keep going. Definitely my body fighting to release, and experience a dopamine rush. The longest I've ever done streak wise are 30 days, 28 days, and 21 days. I'm in that storm right now, my threshold if you like. I was at work today, and even during my shift, I could feel myself getting horny, and wanting to rush to the toilet and fap.

I must harness this horniness into better things.
DAY 32 COMPLETED

Doctor Who

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DAY 30 - COMPLETED

One month down! Felt a little tired today, a few urges, but nothing major. Halfway to my initial 60 day target.

A number of supplements I'm taking are nearing the end of their completion. I've purchased my next batch to commence on Day 60, which involves increasing my horniness a lot. A major risk, but my urges right now are due to dopamine levels IMO. In terms of actual burning urges, I haven't had any since I began this.


DAY 32 COMPLETED

Doctor Who

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DAY 31 - COMPLETED

New personal best for me, but my word, it was tough today. Urges have been crazy. Also noticed how much firmer my penis feels, even though it's still shrivelled. Like a tough, leathery feel to the skin, as opposed to soft and thin.

I have noticed increased concentration in my work, but physically, I'm being let down by fatigue.

Onwards and upwards.
DAY 32 COMPLETED

blueicetea10

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You're a beast ! Happy for your success. Stay positive. I back you  :D
Mastery is not an exalted state that lies at the end of the path; it is a state of mind the lies at the very beginning.
Mastery is in the act of setting foot on the path, not in reaching its end.

kierv

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Nice reading here :) I was especially intrigued when you mentioned you "deeper voice effect". That's interesting. I've just lived my first week, so I bet I need to wait for an outcome like this (if it will ever happen) ;)

Good luck.

Doctor Who

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DAY 32 - COMPLETED

Had my first wet dream last night! I had a cup of tea before going to bed, and it was a sexual dream too. Woke up and tried my best to keep it in, but my penis was soaked.

There's definitely a little loss of energy, but nothing like when I used to masturbate. I've reread some material about wet dreams only setting you back 2-5 days. My penis still feels plump, and my skin looks the same as it did before last night. Usually, after masturbating, I'd look oily. There's a slight increase in brain fog and heart rate, but again, nothing like it would be post masturbation. I suspected I was probably due for a wet dream due to tiredness from work, increase in urges, and the fatal mistake last night, drinking tea before bed, and not waiting to clear my bladder.

I woke up twice last night too, and I also suspect that's contributing to me not feeling great today too. The rain kept me up, as did a little frustration at having the wet dream.

Nevertheless, I will keep going on. Even though I had a wet dream, my body is not under stress from intentional masturbation or watching pornography, and it's not used to retaining semen for this long. In previous attempts, I'd experience wet dreams after a week or two, so I'm hopeful that the longer I go on this streak for, the less they will occur, to the point whereby my body is quite comfortable retaining semen, and consequently, the urges will diminish.

@blueicetea10 Thanks for the message of support! Really appreciate it. Looking to turn my life around asap, and need the energy from Nofap to do so.

@kierv Thanks, mate! It took a while for the deeper voice to surface. Earlier on, it went the opposite way, and sounded croaky, raspy, etc. And even with the deeper voice, it's not a big difference. Hopefully, the longer I do this, the deeper it gets.
DAY 32 COMPLETED

Sanders

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Hope you're doing OK! Hopefully by now your 32 days will have turned into 42, if not, you have the foundation to reach that again.

kopp

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Where are you man? Are you doing ok?