Author Topic: Very likely to have a weird combination of venous leakage with pied. (25)  (Read 24034 times)

Jeks

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Re: Very likely to have a weird combination of venous leakage with pied. (25)
« Reply #375 on: February 18, 2021, 03:45:54 AM »
Thanks chris, finding hope is always the most important thing to me.

Andjouned the exam. I am not allowed to fail this test. I did not feel prepared enough to feel like i have an extrodinary chance of passing. I will write it in exactly one month.
Even though i wasnt able to get that off the table, i am okay with the decision.

I am not sure, whether i will get a sooner appointment for the VL-test. But my mind is right now occupied with study stuff, so it doesnt bother me that much.

Not really much news in terms of morning wood or nocturnal erections.

I will have the next exam in one week.

I feel right now totally okay, not bad, but not great either. But thats totally okay when comparing it to the last months.

Bladder is doing okay.

Jeks

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Re: Very likely to have a weird combination of venous leakage with pied. (25)
« Reply #376 on: February 20, 2021, 05:42:32 AM »
The amount the forum gets used is crazy. I suspect, that the lockdowns all over the world have a lot to do with it. Lots of time alone might have worsened the situation for a lot of people.

At least i am happy to say, that my situation got a lot better the last weeks. I am off my bladder medication and i am feeling great. Its exactly as it was, before all that shit started. I am still using the plant-based medication, but i already started decreaseing the dose.
Also i had for my standards VERY GOOD morning erections. Not a 100 %, but it stayed for a much longer time than usual, probably like 5-10 minutes or so. It did not stay when i was standing up, but thats definitely massive improvement.
I was more or less sure, that the whole bladder stuff affected my erections negatively and the better the bladder gets the more that seems to be the case.

With the new found progress and hope, its now my obligation to myself to start getting all the study stuff handled. The bladder problems caused a big setback in that regard. But its still not too late to steer the tanker away from the iceberg.

Chris Oz

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Re: Very likely to have a weird combination of venous leakage with pied. (25)
« Reply #377 on: February 20, 2021, 07:38:37 AM »
Happy for you bro! Seems you're seeing the fruits of persistence and positive thinking.

Keep pushing, Keep winning!
Chris
My abstinence is 0+ days currently

Jeks

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Re: Very likely to have a weird combination of venous leakage with pied. (25)
« Reply #378 on: February 21, 2021, 04:16:59 AM »
Thanks for your support bro, hope you also get better soon.

Today will be a trench war. Bladder goes well, so there are no more excuses. My studies and future is on the line. And i am tired of my mind trying to sell me the idea, that i am somehow capable of going trough porn addiction withdrawals and months-long bladder problems without going insane, but at the same time i am not able to prepare for an exam in the upcomming week. From that point on it is a question of will!

Jeks

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Re: Very likely to have a weird combination of venous leakage with pied. (25)
« Reply #379 on: February 22, 2021, 05:07:21 PM »
It will get difficult. The lack of time and productivity, which were caused by my bladder problems, are cathing up on me. I have an exam on Thursday and do not feel prepared at all. Its not the end of the world if i dont pass it with the first try, but still it is not an easy situation, because all the different things will pile up.
Still the only way to break the cycle is to get healthy and to work myself back to business. Step one is pretty much done, so now i have got to fully focus on step two.

Jeks

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Re: Very likely to have a weird combination of venous leakage with pied. (25)
« Reply #380 on: February 23, 2021, 02:14:01 PM »
I had a good study day. Maybe there is hope, that i can pass the test. At minimum there is now a chance, that i will pass this topic one day, even if not with the first try.
It got me distracted from my usual thoughts about my ED a bit. But its just fucking bullshit, that i have to worry about beimg impotent, while trying to get my future in order. Its just such a slow fucking process. It doesnt help to moan about the situation, but it just makes it so much more difficult to get a grip on life. And when you then additionally get a bladder infection, that kills your productivity and mood for nearly a year, well, good luck then.
Anyway there is progress. Its slow and draining, but there is. I got next week the second appointment with the urologist, i will do a test there. After the exam on Thursday i will also try to contact the hospital again, but the covid situation still makes an apointment in the near fututre unlikely.
At least i also had some success with other parts of my studies. Bladder situation is bearable right now.

Jeks

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Re: Very likely to have a weird combination of venous leakage with pied. (25)
« Reply #381 on: February 26, 2021, 12:10:00 AM »
Fortunately there is a good chance, that i passed the test. Too bad that i cant really enjoy those little voctories. I have not thought about it too much, because focusing on my studies was absolutely exestencial, but my morning woods dropped to a very low state the last days. I am currently very very afraid, that i might have VL. My recovery just takes too fucking long. I will try to not think about it too much, since i still have to handle a lot more exams the next weeks. Only chance to find out is to do a test. Doesnt help to circle my thoughts around this topic. I hope, i can do a test soon. This uncertainty is the worst.

zander13

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Re: Very likely to have a weird combination of venous leakage with pied. (25)
« Reply #382 on: February 26, 2021, 01:15:40 AM »
How many months of abstinence do you have?

Jeks

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Re: Very likely to have a weird combination of venous leakage with pied. (25)
« Reply #383 on: February 26, 2021, 03:35:31 AM »
Around 19 months without porn and currently on a two months streak without MO. Longest streak without MO was around 6 months and, when i MO'ed it was never a high frequency, maybe around once a month or so.
Only real reason for the lack of progress could be, that i did not really started rewiring, except for at the beginning. But to be honest, i always planned to start doing it, when there are a little more signs, that i could be on the right way and when the signs would be consistent.
Anyway i feel not really able to rewire, without knowing that physiological reasons are more or less out of question.
Around last year January i saw some good signs of improvements i thought, but since then (maybe also caused by my bladder problems, which started in May) progress was non-existent.
« Last Edit: February 26, 2021, 03:52:19 AM by Jeks »

zander13

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Re: Very likely to have a weird combination of venous leakage with pied. (25)
« Reply #384 on: February 26, 2021, 11:06:30 AM »
First of all, that's amazing. Congratulations man. Seriously. That's awesome.


I'm part of a different forum that deals with longer cases, and it seems that most really long term guys start to really see progress at 2+ years. I don't know why, but most of us on there concur that 2+ years is the number. So don't give up hope man.

Jeks

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Re: Very likely to have a weird combination of venous leakage with pied. (25)
« Reply #385 on: February 26, 2021, 12:25:15 PM »
I hope so zander. As i said, its the uncertainty thats killing me. When the test is negative, i can be pretty sure, that there is no physiological problem. Because of my bladder problem i was checked in a numerous of ways and there is nothin of concern, which could cause ED this bad. Hormonally i also got checked, but that was four years ago or so. Maybe i can check that again. So besides Venous Leakage i cant really think of anything, that could cause ED that bad.
I am pretty sure, that P was/is a problem. It was super tough to stop and i had better erections with P (but never really good ones). Only question is, if there could be something, that makes the ED even worse.
So the plan is: getting the VL test as soon as possible and if thats negative (hopefully), i start rewiring without any question.

Thanks for the support zander!