Author Topic: Personal experience PIED 1 month rebooting  (Read 406 times)

kopfhoch

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Personal experience PIED 1 month rebooting
« on: September 29, 2019, 12:01:44 PM »
Hello everybody,

I created an account to tell my story hoping that it would help/give some incentive to others that are in the same situation as me.

I am 26 years old. I started masturbating viewing porn at the age of 17 increasing the content and frequency. In the beginning I masturbated up to 5 times per day, really hardcore until I turned 22, when I had my second sex experience (my first one was a good one at the age of 17) and I couldn't get it hard enough to have penetration sex. I decided to lower my masturbation pace to once every two days believing that everything was normal and that I failed because of the excess masturbation.

4 months ago, I seeing a friend that wanted to turn our friendship in a friendship+ and I agreed. The moment that almost destroyed me was when she said that my dick was not hard enough and that something is wrong. I thought I was having ED but when watching porn I realized that my got really hard and even took some pictures to prove it to her.

I decided then to quit watching porn but failed because I kept fantasizing in the special porn I liked (and still like to be honest but try not to think about it too much). When we tried again for sex, I failed and started doing some research and discovered that I had to stop everything, even fantasy masturbation and edging. The first weeks have been EXTREMELY hard (it gets better with time) but you feel improvements.

I am now in week 5 and I will see this friend again next weekend hoping to have a decent erection to finally have successful sex with her. Maybe I won't but I will keep trying as I feel some improvements (morning woods, seing women differently, etc...). I still have cravings (it is indeed an ADDICTION), but as every addiction, one can overcome it!

I want to have a normal life, have sex, and maybe one day have kids. I really like this girl and would like to please her sexually because if I don't I would hate myself a lot.

I have an obsession/fetish with women weighing in. It is a rare one but before it was the only thing that turned me up, now the other day I was goofing around with another friend and suddenly had an erection so another sign of improvement.

I will come back in two weeks after seeing my friend to update my status. Wish me luck!

UPDATE:

I update you guys on how it went with my girlfriend that weekend I went to see her 6 weeks in nofap. It went so so. I did some improvements but they were not enough to maintain a good erection to have sex. When I came back home, I had a huuuuuuge chaser effect that led me to watch porn again so I relapsed. Let me tell you something. I am happy that I did because the following week I had the most severe anxiety and self-loathing I've ever had in my entire life. It made me to go even more hardcore with the reboot and throw all the memories away every time I had flashbacks.

Last weekend my girlfriend came to visit. 10 weeks in nofap and I'm glad to say that I had the strongest erections so far. I was even able to put a condom without loosing the erection. We didn't have intercourse but I have never enjoyed "sex" that much ever! I am really happy for that.

What's been bothering me lately is: 1) Flashbacks of porn (I still have them and sometimes they are really hardcore so hard to get them off my mind).
2) Anxieties. I hope they will go away with time. Basically a roller-coaster with ups and downs in my mood.

I am going for the three months goal here with 2 relapses and one wet dream that felt like a relapse because I was dreaming with porn (I had a super stressful day that day). It's been the hardest thing I've ever done but I don't give up and keep trying. Much love and strength!
« Last Edit: April 12, 2020, 11:42:25 AM by kopfhoch »

Quitforeverthenwin

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Re: Personal experience PIED 1 month rebooting
« Reply #1 on: September 29, 2019, 04:46:04 PM »
Good luck man! Glad to hear of your progress and getting through the first month. It is great that getting intimate with your friend is a huge motivator for you. BUT... Don't hate yourself if it doesn't work out! You have a problem and you are taking the steps to fix it, you can not control how long it takes, only your efforts, so no matter what happens with her, you are doing the right thing and can keep moving forward!

Do you do cardio vascular exercise? When I do a lot it seems to speed up my healing and my erections.

Above all else this recovery you have to do first, regardless of any given partner.

Keep up the good work!