Author Topic: Man_in_30s_trying_to_quit_from_last_10years  (Read 7499 times)

man_in_30s_rebootingnow

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Re: Man_in_30s_trying_to_quit_from_last_10years
« Reply #75 on: October 01, 2020, 02:26:51 PM »
Hi EW,
Agree that day counting is not the final end game here . But hitting 90 days clean streak will be the first step upwards in my life towards freedom from slavery . I am tired of being a slave of my minds dark/immoral desires . I want to break free of that demanding mind which has enslaved me since my teens . The desire of illicit materials text pictures videos. I think I have it in my DNA to break free and achieve what i want , achieve as many 90 day clean streaks as I wish for .

But I need to stop getting distracted each time i set out I need to stay focused beyond day 11-16 and then I feel I will start changing or stretching those neural pathways that are like national highways now. I want those highways to get beaten up narrowed down and finally if at all possible shut them down permanently, and promote smoothening of my other natural healthier , moral pleasure seeking neural pathways get activated and use those for the rest of my life. So thats my goal really.

Do i think I can do it . Hell yes!

Cheers,
Man_in_30s_rebooting_now

beautywaytraveler

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Re: Man_in_30s_trying_to_quit_from_last_10years
« Reply #76 on: October 06, 2020, 10:20:50 AM »
Hey Man_his_30s,

I believe you can do it! 90 days only seems like a long time if you make it that way. Just remember that passion that you felt when you made your post about your 90 day goal for 2020. Remember through all the rough times. You are not weak, you are strong!

Keep on keeping on, brother!
"You cannot heal in the environment that made you sick."

man_in_30s_rebootingnow

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Re: Man_in_30s_trying_to_quit_from_last_10years
« Reply #77 on: October 06, 2020, 11:32:50 AM »
Hey beautywaytraveller,

Thanks for your encouraging words.

I am marching on on my 90 day plan . I had a close call today but marching on now.

I expect to stumble here there without completely giving in and make my will power much better in these 90 days . Its harder if you make it hard. I agree

Thank you

man_in_30s_rebootingnow

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Re: Man_in_30s_trying_to_quit_from_last_10years
« Reply #78 on: October 06, 2020, 03:20:08 PM »
So I succumbed today and I will start over new from tomorrow. I hate myself now.
I will keep posting updates

man_in_30s_rebootingnow

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Re: Man_in_30s_trying_to_quit_from_last_10years
« Reply #79 on: October 06, 2020, 03:34:40 PM »
So even if I get 86 days by dec 31st that is still a decent achievement.
Last year I did same excercise at end of year and never lasted more than 12 days . This year i want to get atleast one big streak before its gone.

So i am setting out again from this moment to dec 31st.

Cheers,
Man_in_30s_rebootingnow

man_in_30s_rebootingnow

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Re: Man_in_30s_trying_to_quit_from_last_10years
« Reply #80 on: October 12, 2020, 07:51:45 PM »
I relapsed again today in my quest for 86 day streak in 2020 . I will start over again from tomorrow and I will be aiming for an 80 day streak in 2020 at least.

I feel like I am a loser right now and i am going to relapse at-least 8-12 more times in next 80 days . Its like fighting to stop automated relapse machine over which you have very little control. Thats how I feel about myself. But I have to stop this , somehow.

But I don’t have any other option but to try again .

Day 1 tomorrow........AGAIN!!!

SebNZ

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Re: Man_in_30s_trying_to_quit_from_last_10years
« Reply #81 on: October 13, 2020, 05:22:36 AM »
Don't beat yourself up! You did well going that long. That's a really big achievement in our society where we're bombarded with sexual imagery from all angles. Treat yourself like  you would a friend who had come to you and told you that they had quit smoking for almost three months but then relapsed! Not so bad...

man_in_30s_rebootingnow

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Re: Man_in_30s_trying_to_quit_from_last_10years
« Reply #82 on: October 28, 2020, 10:26:42 PM »
I succumbed again today . Hope to make a 50 day streak atleast in 2020. I blew it In infront of my own eyes. This sucks . Day 1 tomorrow again

man_in_30s_rebootingnow

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Re: Man_in_30s_trying_to_quit_from_last_10years
« Reply #83 on: December 18, 2020, 05:41:30 PM »
There are only 13 days left in 2020 and here I am searching for my reboot success . I aimed for 100 days of sobriety streak in 2020 thats 3 months back I couldn’t achieve that I aimed at 50 days of sobriety about a month ago and I couldn’t achieve that either . I have only 13 days left in 2020 . I want to achieve atleast a 13 day streak in 2020 now or else even that will be gone and I will have no much clean steaks in 2020 ,let alone the dream of completely rebooting from this deadly habit . I don’t know how those succcessful rebooters do it . I couldn’t do it despite trying for almost 4 years now I count my relapses track in spreadsheet nothing has helped really to recover completely until now in my life . I definitely don’t want to live all my remaining life with this addiction in my brain riding out my days and nights at its will leaving no choice for me but to obey it abandoning all other personal intimate relationships I used to have in my life . Only that I know is true , that I am stuck, I am jailed in , I am caged in is how I feel . I want to be free . Somehow I want to be free !!!!  :( :( :(
I will start out my 13 day sobriety streak goal starting tomorrow and hope to atleast have that in 2020. I wish success to all rebooters and myself including  :(
Let us not bog down and accept defeat , let us get up each time we are crushed. I firmly believe that we are not a failure until we stop fighting and accept the defeat. Life still is giving us days to live and sober up our lives . Let us make the most of it ! Day 1 tomorrow..... yet again

jixu

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Re: Man_in_30s_trying_to_quit_from_last_10years
« Reply #84 on: December 27, 2020, 09:19:05 PM »
Good idea to start now and build some momentum heading into the new year; don't wait around until New Year's day to begin anew.  Stay with it and keep building some clean streaks.  Like you said, the only failure is giving up.   

akpal2

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Re: Man_in_30s_trying_to_quit_from_last_10years
« Reply #85 on: December 28, 2020, 10:38:13 AM »
There are only 13 days left in 2020 and here I am searching for my reboot success . I aimed for 100 days of sobriety streak in 2020 thats 3 months back I couldn’t achieve that I aimed at 50 days of sobriety about a month ago and I couldn’t achieve that either . I have only 13 days left in 2020 . I want to achieve atleast a 13 day streak in 2020 now or else even that will be gone and I will have no much clean steaks in 2020 ,let alone the dream of completely rebooting from this deadly habit . I don’t know how those succcessful rebooters do it . I couldn’t do it despite trying for almost 4 years now I count my relapses track in spreadsheet nothing has helped really to recover completely until now in my life . I definitely don’t want to live all my remaining life with this addiction in my brain riding out my days and nights at its will leaving no choice for me but to obey it abandoning all other personal intimate relationships I used to have in my life . Only that I know is true , that I am stuck, I am jailed in , I am caged in is how I feel . I want to be free . Somehow I want to be free !!!!  :( :( :(
I will start out my 13 day sobriety streak goal starting tomorrow and hope to atleast have that in 2020. I wish success to all rebooters and myself including  :(
Let us not bog down and accept defeat , let us get up each time we are crushed. I firmly believe that we are not a failure until we stop fighting and accept the defeat. Life still is giving us days to live and sober up our lives . Let us make the most of it ! Day 1 tomorrow..... yet again

Hey man in 30s, I had recovered and then again fell into the abyss. So I know this monster somewhat well.

The thing to understand is that porn is not the real enemy. The real enemy is dopamine rush. The elevated levels of dopamine that come to us through watching porn or porn substitutes. Why are you relapsing? Have you educated yourself properly on the problem? Even if you had,  you might be forgetting some of the basics. I suggest reading at least the first couple of William's thread on this forum. I can post it here because it has helped me every single time. We need to push each other to get it out. Don't think of 90 days. Just take one day at a time.



man_in_30s_rebootingnow

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Re: Man_in_30s_trying_to_quit_from_last_10years
« Reply #86 on: December 29, 2020, 06:28:54 PM »
Hey Akpal ,
That would be helpful if you can post the blog for me
Thanks

man_in_30s_rebootingnow

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Re: Man_in_30s_trying_to_quit_from_last_10years
« Reply #87 on: December 29, 2020, 06:34:39 PM »
So I targeted a 13 day clean streak to end 2020 but I could only stay clean for 9 days I fell short by 4 days :( not a good end to 2020 but I am restarting day 1 tomorrow on 12/30 . Yet again ! Hope to hit longer clean streaks in 2021 and at-least one 90 day streak .
Cheers, rebooter

akpal2

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Re: Man_in_30s_trying_to_quit_from_last_10years
« Reply #88 on: December 29, 2020, 06:45:29 PM »
have you identified why you are relapsing manin30s?

Here is the thread from William. He no longer posts here but he was arguably the greatest poster on this forum IMO.

http://www.rebootnation.org/forum/index.php?topic=1256.0



man_in_30s_rebootingnow

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Re: Man_in_30s_trying_to_quit_from_last_10years
« Reply #89 on: January 07, 2021, 12:48:54 PM »
hi akpal2 and my dear rebooters
Happy new year to everyone .
Reading This blog below was real good introspection

https://www.rebootnation.org/forum/index.php?topic=1256.0

I started journaling asking questions to myself on why I relapse and the conclusion I reached was simple . Why did I just relapse ? Because “I just simply could not stop myself at the moment”.
I want to be clean but I don’t want to stop myself at that very moment .
Now ....this will be almost everybody’s  answer , the same .
They are all here because they could not stop themselves and so are suffering.

2021 has been no different so far . Relapsed 2 times already:(

I think the next question we all should be asking is
“How do we stop ourselves  the next time we are urged to do what we don’t want to do ? “
Or even
“How do we stop those urges inside our brains that make us fall ?”

I still don’t have answer to those questions.
It will be upto us to find those answers and it will be very different for each one of us .
I sometimes feel I am just acting powerless when I have all that it takes to stop . But I may be wrong I don’t know . I think I need to reach a point where I get answers to my questions and practice them every single day to heal completely from this addiction.untill then we are all stuck inside the cage .

Good luck in 2021! Lets do our best

akpal2

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Re: Man_in_30s_trying_to_quit_from_last_10years
« Reply #90 on: January 07, 2021, 02:59:40 PM »
keep going manin30s, it is simple. We don't want to give up the dopamine rush.



man_in_30s_rebootingnow

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Re: Man_in_30s_trying_to_quit_from_last_10years
« Reply #91 on: January 08, 2021, 01:23:30 PM »
I started over today with new  promises made to myself to hit a very long clean streak this time . I hope I don’t let myself down . I feel like I am not at all the same person when I am about to succumb . When I am conscious of my choices like now I am a very different person altogether. I hope to kill that other side of me fast . So I start today again day 1 .

King Leer

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Re: Man_in_30s_trying_to_quit_from_last_10years
« Reply #92 on: January 12, 2021, 05:15:45 PM »
Haha I love the yearly spreadsheet-like data on quitting that's great it shows you never give up. Keep it up man -KL

King Leer

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Re: Man_in_30s_trying_to_quit_from_last_10years
« Reply #93 on: January 13, 2021, 10:27:40 PM »
Also I remember hearing of a study or survey that concluded for the average person to make change a deeply engrained habit it takes roughly 11 tries. Some people less some people more. The point is never give up eventually you will succeed.  In my experience the only way I learned to hate porn was when it took me further than I ever wanted to go. Maybe if I had read other people's horror stories and learned from them things would be different who knows. I think learning from others misery and mistakes is ideal.