"Today is day 40. " - that is excellent
" now fully self-employed " also excellent
"but I know there has been at the core of my porn use a need to lock myself away in the emotional sense. " - totally I true I locked myself away, not daring to for a Long time.
"Porn use felt good, but going into that neurochemical bubble also meant I wasn't thinking about relationships with others. " - Porn use felt powerful. I agree
"So, I have to be grown up, act like a 43 year old, " - you do not have to, you want to. that would be better.
" One day a time though. " - that is excellent.
You have a great attitude.
