Author Topic: First month  (Read 315 times)

Marco60

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First month
« on: December 24, 2020, 09:48:08 AM »
I start this journal not on my first day, but one month after the beginning of my no-FAP experience.

I turned 60 this April, and I always had a regular and satisfactory sexual activity, which has been harmed by my inclination towards porn. For many years I was single, and visited FKKs in Germany occasionally. My last intercourse with ejaculation goes back to more than one year ago, and it was with a girl in a FKK.

Since the beginning of the year I have a gf my age: this has changed everything. We both love and like each other, sex is more than ok, BUT I did not succeed to have an ejaculation, until now. I think the reason is that I am now used to  reach ejaculation through masturbation. With the girl in the FKK I probably succeeded because when I had it I had started a reboot since few weeks.

I still look everyday at porn, although only for 15 minutes at most, and I continue to read and see porn cartoons, without FAPping however. I am not sure whether this is potentially harming or not: just looking at porn without FAP.  Both actions get me hard, thus I can not tell I am not reactive.

Comments and reports of experiences are welcome!

Phineas 808

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Re: First month
« Reply #1 on: December 24, 2020, 11:36:32 AM »
Welcome, Marco!

What are FKK's?

Congrats on 1 month! That's huge.

I think that the wiring of our brains toward porn and masturbation (especially with fantasy) are against real-world sex, and so hamper us in our efforts to connect meaningfully with another human being.

Gabe Deem has a test you can safely perform to determine if you have PIED or not, I think like, can you get an erection without having to look at porn first? Or, can you simply get an erection by self touch without porn, fantasy, or squeezing it like a tube of toothpaste?

Anyhow, nice to meet you!
My abstinence is currently at 72+days.

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Marco60

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Re: First month
« Reply #2 on: December 25, 2020, 06:54:32 PM »
Thank you Phineas, and first: Merry Christmas! I will look after GD's test. I think I can answer the first part of the test: I do get a little erection also without looking at porn. But I prefer to avoid trying to touch myself, even for  a test.

Marco60

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Re: First month
« Reply #3 on: December 28, 2020, 10:29:26 AM »
Sorry, I have not answered your question: What are FKK?
This German acronym stands for "Frei Koerper Kultur". Strictly speaking, are clubs where nudity is admitted. Usually they admit both women and men, and all pay the same admission fee. It is not a brothel, it is however possible to have sex if people want. They are mostly located in Germany and Austria. Obviously since the beginning of the pandemic they have all been locked down.

Phineas 808

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Re: First month
« Reply #4 on: December 28, 2020, 11:16:44 AM »
Thanks for the definition! It would be a challenge for me to keep in control...  ::)
My abstinence is currently at 72+days.

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Marco60

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Re: First month
« Reply #5 on: December 29, 2020, 06:22:41 PM »
Since today i have completely abolished any P. Until now I was looking from time to time some P, particularly cartoons, although I  adopted a no-fap policy. The latter gave me some erections, and I continue to have morning woods. It is a landmark along this path.

Delloroo

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Re: First month
« Reply #6 on: December 31, 2020, 11:47:19 AM »
That's awesome that you decided to back away from porn completely. It sounds like a good step.

Marco60

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Re: First month
« Reply #7 on: January 11, 2021, 09:55:38 AM »
Since a week I was in a completely flat phase. However, yesterday I had a intercourse with my GF. I could not ejaculate, but she anyhow reached orgasm, and my erection lasted for long.
The lack of ejaculation is my main concern. I had no problem when I was masturbating: thus I deduce that it is caused by the loss of sensitivity caused by PM, a symptom which, from what I read somewhere else, happened to others. I hope I will regain it in few months, after a complete reboot (but I do not know).

Marco60

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Re: First month
« Reply #8 on: January 15, 2021, 07:18:23 AM »
Day 52 since starting and 17 since no-P. This morning I started to feel some hardening in bed, while I was having a fantasy. I do not feel any interest towards P, even less for MO. I start to forget about the feeling of seeing P, but I begin from time to time to feel attraction towards my GF. I know it will take time. The most important is to forget completely about M.

Phineas 808

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Re: First month
« Reply #9 on: January 15, 2021, 11:47:28 AM »
Good going, Marco!

You're making progress, and changing things for the better, slowly but surely!

Keep it going!
My abstinence is currently at 72+days.

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Murgatroyd

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Re: First month
« Reply #10 on: January 17, 2021, 09:30:08 AM »
Hi Gentlemen, May I join the conversation?  I am 62 and decided to learn more about my brain on porn.  On day 43 here, no P no M but I'm married and have regular sex with my wife.  We're trying to figure out how to measure progress.
Never forget the female price of male pleasure
https://theweek.com/articles/749978/female-price-male-pleasure

Marco60

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Re: First month
« Reply #11 on: January 18, 2021, 03:17:52 AM »
Hi Gentlemen, May I join the conversation?  I am 62 and decided to learn more about my brain on porn.  On day 43 here, no P no M but I'm married and have regular sex with my wife.  We're trying to figure out how to measure progress.

Welcome to my (hopefully) progress journal, Murgatroyd :)! As many others, I decided to start this journal here to get advantage of comments from fellow rebooters  and also for myself, to keep trace of my path towards freedom  ;)....