Author Topic: Exodus (Read 17411 times)

workinprogressUK · « **Reply #175 on:** July 13, 2020, 10:45:12 AM »

Quote from: MosesY on July 12, 2020, 05:49:38 AM

I am porn free now for 162 days. It feels good. ……. This was a secret so I had to avoid people, my eyes downcast, my shoulders slumped, defeated. I am free from that now; I look people in the eye, I care about them, I have overcome Satan's defeat.

I remember when you first checked-in here, MosesY. You really struggled and fought hard. The transformation in your mental health, confidence and strength is profound and uplifting. I'm truly happy for you, Sir. I hope that the road stays smooth for you, and those Coleman lamps all come up gleaming :-)

MosesY · « **Reply #176 on:** July 30, 2020, 09:52:14 PM »

I am clean now for 5 months and 29 days, almost 6 months. 6 Months of never once looking at a cam girl, I would have thought that was impossible.

Rex · « **Reply #177 on:** July 31, 2020, 08:43:43 AM »

Quote from: MosesY on July 30, 2020, 09:52:14 PM

I am clean now for 5 months and 29 days, almost 6 months. 6 Months of never once looking at a cam girl, I would have thought that was impossible.

MosesY,

It's a great feeling when you hit the 6 month mark. Keep up the vigilance and continue the daily prayer life... you are doing great! Keep up the hard work!

MosesY · « **Reply #178 on:** August 07, 2020, 11:08:08 PM »

I have been clean now for 6 months and 7 days. It is such a good feeling.

MosesY · « **Reply #179 on:** August 09, 2020, 06:38:34 AM »

I have been clean now for 6 months and 8 days. It is a great feeling. Zero urges to look at pornography. I am working on a lantern this morning, had a very hard time getting the valve out of the fount but it is loose now. I am waiting for it to cool before taking it all the way out and cleaning it.

TheNorman · « **Reply #180 on:** August 11, 2020, 08:13:20 PM »

6 months 8 days and soon a newly cleaned lantern to keep lighting the way! Thanks MosesY for helping us keep our eyes on the prize!

MosesY · « **Reply #181 on:** August 13, 2020, 01:27:20 AM »

I have been clean now for 6 months and 12 days. Thank you for the encouraging comments. I have not overdrafted my bank account since I began this journey. This means I have money for lanterns. I remember those nights laying awake stressed. One time I got drunk and went on a cam girl site and overdrafted my bank account by $600. I had no money to buy food for two weeks. I bought frozen dinners with a credit card. Those were some really bad days. I don't know what I was thinking. Last weekend I went to Wings Etc. with a friend. It was so nice to have the money to do that. It was fun, a Jack & Coke, chicken wings and fries, very tasty. My life now is entirely different (much better) than it was when I was addicted to porn. I enjoy simple pleasures so much more. I have not had an orgasm now for months and really don't miss it.

Joel · « **Reply #182 on:** August 13, 2020, 07:38:13 AM »

That's awesome, well done on coming so far.

MosesY · « **Reply #183 on:** August 18, 2020, 07:51:40 PM »

Thank you so much for the responses. I am clean now for 6 months and 17 days. I am no longer tempted to look at porn sites, they hold no interest for me. I am planning on going to Chili's with a friend on Saturday, really looking forward to a good drink and a good steak with french fries. This is my world now; working on lanterns, spending time with friends, good eating and good drinks.

MosesY · « **Reply #184 on:** August 21, 2020, 02:53:49 AM »

I am clean now for 202 days. I have had perfect attendance at work now for almost 25 days. I feel pretty good, feel very good about quitting porn, feel good about myself, and am able to reach out to people and help them. If only I had done this while I was married. On the other hand circumstances make me the person that I am. I am about to go to work; Fridays are just 8 hour days. I will recieve a big check today, 12 hours overtime last week and 6 months ago I would have been looking forward to Friday night with cam girls and wasted half that money. Now I can spend on things that have value.

MosesY · « **Reply #185 on:** August 23, 2020, 01:28:35 AM »

I am clean now for 204 days, over 6 months. This morning I am making a pasta salad, have to wash some dishes first. I am going to work on my car today, the tail lights are not working. All the other lights work. I hate working on my car.

MosesY · « **Reply #186 on:** September 04, 2020, 01:43:24 AM »

I am clean now for 7 months and 3 days. I am looking forward to a clean year. I have not had an orgasm during that time. I heard a lot about the book "Fifty Shades of Grey" and decided to watch the movie. I think it is R rated. It showed some boobs and butts but I found the movie artistic, not pornographic. THe photography was excellent and the characters portrayed very well. It was an exploration of the femme/dom world, a comment on emotions, and began an exploration into why people are oriented sexually as they are. I will probably try to find the other two movies in the series and watch them.

This weekend we have monday off for Labor Day. Saturday I am doing my chores and getting a haircut (it is nice to be spoiled by a lovely woman for 20 minutes) and then doing some cabinet work at a friends house. Sunday I have some sausages, bacon, pepper and onions to sautee, scrambled eggs, and plan on cooking them on my camp stoves in the garage.

jixu · « **Reply #187 on:** September 04, 2020, 10:18:52 AM »

You are playing with fire friend, plain and simple. How and in what way is that movie not porn, or, how is it artistic, as you put it? It sounds like the old "I like Playboy for the articles" line.

MosesY · « **Reply #188 on:** September 05, 2020, 03:47:00 AM »

I am 7 months and 4 days free from porn now. The movie "50 Shades of Grey" i knew would draw a response. Pornography is designed to arouse sexual feelings in people. The movie explores sexuality. I find it interesting but not provocative. The two main actors are perfect for the role they play. It is like the ancient art where a woman is painted with bare breasts or a man is carved out of marble totally naked, his penis hanging out. It is not meant as pornography, to arouse sexual tastes, but to explore the beauty of the human body and mind.

MosesY · « **Reply #189 on:** September 12, 2020, 12:09:44 AM »

I have been clean now for 7 months and 11 days. No urge to look at porn; I hate the stuff. I hate what it does to relationships. I hate what it does to me. I am doing some cabinet work for a friend today and having lunch there. Later I am going to Texas Roadhouse with a friend. My friend is addicted to porn and doesn't care. It is hard for him to read, he does not comprehend what he is reading. Thinking about this I think it is mostly my spiritual world that rejects porn; if I was not spiritual I might think that porn is okay.

MosesY · « **Reply #190 on:** September 19, 2020, 12:17:10 AM »

I am clean now for 7 moths and 18 days. I am tempted to look at porn because of the lack of support here. People just love to condemn you. The only support you get is when you fail and look at porn. That is what Reboot Nation is all about; failure. They do not care about success. I notice that the posts on failure get lots of attention; the posts on success do not.

Emanresu · « **Reply #191 on:** September 19, 2020, 06:44:41 PM »

Hi Mose. I’m new to this forum and just starting my first attempt at breaking this addiction. I’ve found your journal to be inspirational. I hope my life will improve immensely if I can click the PMO habit. I too escalated to pay cam sites, and to infidelity with my wife. Just know at least one person out here is paying attention to your success. I’m glad I’ve found this outlet

MosesY · « **Reply #192 on:** September 20, 2020, 03:36:35 AM »

Good morning @Emanresu. Cam sites are such addictive porn; to give a girl money and shhe will do what you ask. To give them lots of money they will notice you, pay attention to you. It is flattering. The thing I knew in my heart all along was that they were just doing it for the money. They don't really care about me. These women are someone's daughters. THey have dipped so low they are willing to sell their bodies for money. I found that after a while of not using them I feel sorry for them. I will never again support them.

Orbiter · « **Reply #193 on:** September 25, 2020, 06:12:21 PM »

I just finished reading your journal from start to finish and I must say it's been quite a journey. Don't let yourself get tempted, what you've achieved & overcome is truly inspirational.

MosesY · « **Reply #194 on:** September 26, 2020, 02:16:51 AM »

I am better now. 7 months and 25 days free from porn. I am going to a friends house this morning, leaving at 7, and if this drawer slide works he needs 4 more new slides. I am just going to tell him I will pay for the slides rather than him telling me to order the slides and he will pay me for them then never paying. I am setting up some of my Coleman stoves today to make a video of me making breakfast on Sunday morning. I find my Coleman hobby takes off the stress that I used to relieve with porn.

LetItGoAlready · « **Reply #195 on:** September 27, 2020, 12:48:44 PM »

Moses - Congrats on being almost 8 months free. My hats off to you for making it this far!

MosesY · « **Reply #196 on:** October 05, 2020, 02:14:10 AM »

I am 8 months and 4 days free from porn. I had a lot of free time this weekend and am not tempted to look at porn. It is like I live in a different world than I have the past 30 years. I made an apple pie on Saturday to take in to work today and share with my team. I care more about other people, my heart is getting softer. I have a doctor appointment in a few weeks to get a physical and have my prostate checked. I have not had an orgasm now for over 8 months and don't miss it.

MosesY · « **Reply #197 on:** October 09, 2020, 08:01:11 PM »

I am 8 months and 8 days free from porn now. I had a day off today to work on my car, I figured out a solution and will finish it in the morning. I drove some today, noticing the brilliant fall colors, the beautiful clouds and feeling the sunshine on my face.

Orbiter · « **Reply #198 on:** October 14, 2020, 05:38:19 AM »

Marvellous!

MosesY · « **Reply #199 on:** October 24, 2020, 02:19:54 AM »

Thank you for the responses. I am 8 months and 23 days free from porn now. I am up early in the mornings. I go to bed around 7 pm and get up around 2 am. The early morning hours is when I used to go to the web sites. This morning I am looking at Facebook, the suicide forum, a lantern forum, and then watching "Designated Survivor". I will go in to work to start at 5:30 am, have one 15 minute break in the middle and get off work at 1:30 pm. I am not tempted to look at porn but YouTube is a different story. It is very tempting to look at suggestive videos. One channel that is posted on Facebook has a guy going around to do different tricks to women to get their phone numbers. It is funny yet at the same time sad. He gets hundreds of girls phone numbers and then never calls them. How does that make them feel?

I like beautiful women. I find it disturbing that women go out in very tight yoga pants, tight T-shirts, knowing what they are doing to men. I guess I have learned to look them in the eyes, quitting pornography has freed me from being chained to my lust.