I want to be inspiration for you

[Berens]

Day 3
Everyday is a kind of a challenge. But do we recognise that challenge in a first place? And it's meaning? What can I achieve in 1 day? In 1 day I am awake for more or less 16 hours. Can I challenge myself to do not distract myself for 16 hours? Can I challenge myself to focus on my work, on my body, on my breath, on my mind, on the beauty around me? Instead of looking for stimulation in form of surfing internet, P, youtube, videogames etc.

[Berens]

Day 4
Good day to do some sport and make my body feel tired. It is a great opportunity to experience and feel the body. To find a balance between mind and body. That’s why I don’t listen to music while doing physical exercise, it distracts my mind from focusing in the body. And that idea is related to rebooting because P and sexual fantasy happen only in the mind. You can’t feel P or fantasy on your body. That’s why experiencing the body liberates you from urges.

[Berens]

Day 5
This morning was hard. I was feeling tired and was having urges but taking a nap has solved the problem. Actually I have fall asleep when trying to meditate to clean my mind from any sexual thoughts. Now I am much more in self-control. That's why good sleep is so important. When we feel tired, we don't have that much self-control and it's easier to relapse.

[Berens]

Day 6
P actresses are broken women who have nothing else to offer than their bodies. They don’t experience intimacy or love. They are only lust driven. They are unable to keep one man with them, unable of having authentic relationship nor raise children. They reject the idea of having a loving family. If men would be chosing women only because of their virtue, value, consciousness, empathy, self esteem then P actresses would be virgins for their whole life. There is nothing attractive in P actress except her physical appearance, which is also fake and exaggerated. We became addicted to P because we want to have an orgasm while experiencing a fantasy. P actresses are personification of our sexual fantasies. We don’t see women as they are but as we want to see them. We exploit P actresses because we want to satisfy our narcissistic desire of having an orgasm with fantasy.

[Berens]

Day 7
I have to focus more. There are too many distractions. Today I have met some girl that i find attractive. I’ll probably see her next week and I will try to invite her on a date. I don’t want anything to stop me.

[Berens]

Day 8
One week into rebooting and I feel more optimistic about life again. I feel like I am gaining control over my life and that I can change the circumstances that I am in. Also that I can change myself. Having that feeling is amazing. When being in relapsing cycle it feels like I can't change anything and that I am helpless. Such a negative illusion to be in.

[johnleesmith65]

Yes my friend.
If we won’t repress this sexual beast inside, it will keep robbing us our self esteem and confidence.
And it will give us anxiety and depression every time.
Stay strong.
Go for long stretch of time.

[Berens]

Day 8

Something in my mind is holding me back as I still have sexual fantasies. And those make me have kind of brainfog and don’t allow me to focus. The mind seems to be like holding sexual fantasies and not allowing to liberate oneself from them, because of the sensation that they have value. Almost like it would be a lost to get rid of sexual fantasy. But I can only gain by cleaning my mind. Sexual fantasy is taking a lot of energy and concentration that i could use on other things.

[Berens]

Yes my friend.
If we won’t repress this sexual beast inside, it will keep robbing us our self esteem and confidence.
And it will give us anxiety and depression every time.
Stay strong.
Go for long stretch of time.

Thank you for your comment. This is very interesting because the sexual beast is part of us, part of our psyche that we can’t get rid of. We have sexual energy and desire because of it and the negative aspect of it is that if we don’t acknowledge those sexual feelings and desires it’s then when we become dominated by the sexual beast. What is sexual beast actually telling us?
-Hi sexual beast, what do you want?
-Hi Berens, i want to have sex with a woman.
-I get it but I can’t just have sex with any woman, I want to be in loving relationship.
-It doesn’t matter to me, I must have sex.
-We must do it the right way, you have no regrets but my consciousness has.
-If you don’t listen to me then I will bring sexual fantasies to your imagination anyway.
-Ok ok, I don’t want to have sexual fantasies, I don’t want to MO nor PMO. How can we cooperate and get what we want?
-I’ll give you energy to pursue good women and to get into longterm loving relationship but you have listen to me when I talk to you, deal?
-Deal.

 

[Berens]

Day 9
It is getting really hard, I have a lot of urges and my mind is so distracted and foggy that I can't even think about what to write here now.
You can't achieve sexual satisfaction with sexual fantasy. It's like eating grass and imagining that you are eating 5 star restaurant meal or watching someone else eating a great meal. You'll only get sick to your stomach, damage your health and confuse completely your brain and metabolism about what you should eat. Physical contact and sexual connection with a woman is the most natural need that we have. If we are limited to only look at women, look at videos of women or imagine them, our sexual drive is going to be distorted. It's like if we could only look at food and water without having the possibility of eating and drinking. It's painful that we are in such situation in a first place. But there are solutions to this and we can fix ourselves to experience very satisfying intimacy and bonding with a woman that we love. It is easier to me to look at women and hide it from the world than admit that i have sexual desires. It's like my sexuality have been repressed so much that i feel shame to even recognise that i am sexual human being. I think I will look for a psychologist/therapist, someone i could consult and someone who could guide me towards healthy sexuality.

[Berens]

Day 9
I am definitely going through some kind of crisis now. And it's not a bad thing as the only thing that we know about crisis is that it is going to happen no matter what and that we can't avoid it. It's a great opportunity to grow and take good decisions to change the life for a better. We can't allow the crisis to dominate us. We have to take control over the situation and push into the right direction. 

[Berens]

Day 9
Sometimes I just worry too much and look for short term solutions to the problems. Yes, i feel sexually frustrated but if I look for short term solutions what happens is that I end up relapsing. If i want to succeed i have to put everyday an effort and someday it will pay off. Hard work is cumulative and won’t go in vain. My life goal is to get married and have children. I want to have a successful marriage and want to have great relationship with my future children. PMO is great obstacle to achieve that.

[Berens]

Day 10
It was a really good day today, just having a breakfast in a coffee shop and taking a walk made my day. Optimism is the idea that what we do is worth the effort and that we are going to achieve what we want to achieve. Rebooting is going to bring happiness and everyday of rebooting is definitely worth it! I feel grateful for everyday without PMO.

[Berens]

Day 11
Boredom begins, brain is rebalancing itself. That's good, I am not going to spend my whole life stimulating my brain with worthless content. I have to live my life in a meaningful way and enjoy life.

[Berens]

Day 12
Rebooting is boring. This boredom is not going to last forever. I'll just focus on doing what i have to get done, despite feeling so bored. Even things that were always entertaining to me seem to be boring and i can't focus on them for more than 20 minutes. But that's okay. Actually that's were i want to be. If i am going to be possessed by the will to entertain and stimulate myself, i will always end up escalating to PMO.

[Berens]

Day 12
P is disgusting and it has got terrible consequences not only on us but on whole society and on children. P is so normalized in our society that we dont even recognise softcore P as P. Our generation doesnt even know what healthy sexuality looks like.

[Berens]

Day 14
I really can’t allow myself a relapse. I have met some girl and i would like to invite her on a date and move forward. It is a big step for me to move from PMO addiction to dating. It is really important for me and i am very motivated.

[Berens]

Day 15
How much of who we are is defined by a habit? Can we recognise how many things we do automatically on daily basis? If our life becomes so automatic that we feel helpless about having control over own our lifes, then we will want to escape from the routine. And P is an easy escape from automatic and uncontroled life. But we don’t have to escape from it but rather take control over it. It’s our lifes, who is going to have control over our lifes if not us? So, what can we do? First, we have to recognise the urges that we have for acting in an automatic way. For example if everyday in the morning I prepare a cappuccino, then I can recognise that I do it automatically and try something else this and next morning.

[Berens]

Day 15
I have seen accidentaly an image that was triggering. I have inmediately experienced a brainfog and my mindset has changed. I began to have sexual fantasies. It is almost like I got possessed and ceased to be myself. I have observed on myself how quickly i could lose control overmyself.

[Berens]

Day 16
I have to remind myself of how important it is to eat and sleep healthy. Those are really the basics. Yesterday i haven't eaten well and have gone to sleep little later. That already has altered how i feel today. I'll do some more sports, I'll go running today, even if it is just for 10 minutes. I am listening to audiobooks on scribd.com, which is cool because i am not only stimulating my imagination and learning new things but also i am engaging in some activity that helps to overcome boredom.

[Berens]

Day 16
I feel really good and grateful to be alive. Tomorrow is Saturday, I’ll go in the morning to see the sunrise and read a novel in a coffee shop. I can allow myself once a week a little pleasure of having a coffee and cake. Does things really matter when it comes to rebooting. PMO addictions superstimulates our brains and because of it we become blind to beauty. World around us is beautiful but we don’t see it. We see only stimulation and comfort. When we reboot, we don’t regain erections but the perception of reality is changing as well. Changing for better.

[Berens]

Day 17
Behind every great man there's a great woman. Women can be great inspiration and stimulation for us, to work hard towards meaningful goals, to create great art and build civilizations. But women in P? Those are vampires that are just taking our energy without giving anything back. We became addicted to exaggerated shapes of female body and to sexual fantasy. And people who create P are creating content to fit your deepest sexual fantasies to make you dependent on P. Our bodies take a lot of energy to produce semen. Semen that you lose every time you have an orgasm. P videos and images are not made for you to make you enjoy more your life. They are made to steal your attention. Pay attention on how many advertisements you see a young attractive woman, even when the product they sell has nothing to so with a women. Even on youtube thumbnails they place some attractive women only to make you click. How many decisions are we taking for ourselves and how many times we are just reacting because “female body”?

[Berens]

Day 18
Today i have been talking with a friend about pornography. We have been talking about negative consequences of pornography on relationship between men and women, on children and on us as individuals. Having such conversations is really helping to liberate oneself from P because we can take different point of view. Also because when you talk about it with someone, P topic is not something you are hiding but something you face with another person, so to speak. It would be definitely easier for me if i would have someone years ago that i could talk about my addiction, psychologist, therapist or some mentor i trust. If i could go back in time, probably i would contact some psychologist via email or by phone and tell about my PMO addiction.

[Berens]

Day 19
Monday...
Mondays are 1/7 part of our life. I feel grateful for Mondays. We take rest on weekends to start fresh on Monday. Lately i push myself more in work, to work more hours and to be more effective. I am overcoming some laziness. Also boredom that i have been writing about some days ago is not that problem anymore. Also optimism is a thing. I feel that all this effort in rebooting, in reading books, in taking care of myself, in journaling and in meeting new people is worth taking. It already is paying off as i am definitely doing better than i was doing months and years ago. But still great future is about to come.

[Berens]

Day 20
I have got a trigger in a dream, so i have woke up aroused. When we grow, we face crisis. Crisis a threshold between where we are now and next level. It is when we overcome crisis that we grow. Rebooting is experiencing a crisis on daily basis, and when we move forward despite the burden of rebooting, then we grow.