This is a very interesting discussion. I have often wondered where and why my fetish originated. Sexual pleasure is greatly enhanced for me if my partner is wearing high heeled ankle boots. The kind of footwear that triggers this enhancement must be of a very particular type. Anything lower than a certain heel high just doesn’t do it for me. The form of the heel must be of a specific type. Ankle or calf sign boots have the largest impact, whereas thigh length boots are not so exciting for me (I get a bit of thrill out of them).I don’t recall my mother ever wearing anything like this kind of footwear so I can’t attach this fetish to her. This kind of fetish for an object is quite interesting. Obviously, I can only speak for myself. The object in itself doesn’t really trigger sexual desire. When I’ve been alone at home and studied my girlfriends boots I get no real rush. There must be a woman inside the boots, animating them. I really don’t understand what need high heeled boots fulfil for me. Many men have the same excitement for stockings and suspenders. It would be interesting to conduct a survey to see if young men get the same thrill from seeing women in stockings and suspenders as older men. I’m in my 50s and it seems quite a common idea that men like women wearing these kinds of things in the bedroom. Do young men, say in their 20s, get the same thrill? If not what is the new fetish for them? Tattoos perhaps?Object fetishes are particularly interesting because they can in no way be primitive. I can’t see how rubber fetishism, for example, is triggered by some deep rooted primal sexual impulse. I read once that rubber fetishism only started to appear when children born during the second World War reached maturity. This was explained as being due to the child being forced to wear gas masks (or a respirator which encased the whole body in the case of very young children) during the bombing raids. This seems to make some sense. The hightened sense of fear and tension coupled with the protective arms of a parent (probably a mother) and the smell of rubber seem to match some of the prerequisites for porn addiction, namely shock and novelty. Of course that doesn’t ring true for children who never experienced bombing raids either in the UK of Europe. While I find some women in rubber clothing sexually appealing, I’ve never felt the urge to buy rubber clothing for either myself nor my partners.
Hi DoneAtLastI think I was always somehow attracted to high heels. I'm pretty sure it started pre-porn although I can't be 100% sure about that. I also remember finding painted finger nails erotic. I can almost remember the moment that one hit me. There was a girl in a local shop with blue painted finger nails and I remember getting a hard on looking at them. I think this was during the period of my life where I was waking up to my sexual instincts so perhaps it was just by chance that I noticed her nails when I got aroused. That was definitely pre-porn. Interestingly, I'm not particularly turned on by women fingernails anymore.A comic book character? You know, you've asked a very interesting question. I remember a character in a 1970s Spiderman comic called Black Widow. I've just checked and she didn't wear heels.Fetishes are a real mystery. I'd love to know why I find women in heels so much more arousing. It actually makes no sense and I know it.
I have developed other fetishes over the years, (although I think fetish is too strong a word to describe them). I'm on day 142 of my reboot and all other fetishes have faded away. The boot fetish still exits though. I'm not sure it is a fetish though. As I said previously, it's not so much the boots themselves as how women look in them. We all have preferences for a particular body type, hair colour, hair length, etc. I suspect that my thing for boots is more of a preference than a fetish.
the image of the pregnant teen was almost like a shot from a scary movie.
I think you hit the nail on the head when you say:Quote from: DoneAtLast on May 23, 2018, 10:59:37 AMthe image of the pregnant teen was almost like a shot from a scary movie.Just like escalating porn addiction, there is a shocking event which has raised your dopamine. I suspect that at some point in my childhood there was a shocking event and either consciously or unconsciously my mind took a snapshot of the type of footwear I spoke about. The next time I saw similar boots perhaps my brain replayed the anxiety and I got another shot of dopamine.Before my PIED I never had any issue with women not wearing boots during sex. I've never asked a partner to wear them for me when we had sex because it seems absurd. So my preference doesn't really have a negative effect upon my sexual pleasure.It's a really interesting discussion. Why do people prefer blue to red? What creates these preferences in our minds? I'm happy that my other fetishes have disappeared now that I'm almost 4 months into my reboot. I knew they were porn induced because they were things which had never interested me before. Thanks for your comments.
I need some help in learning about the psychology of sexual fetishes. From what I have read and studied it would seem that sexual fetishes are not natural. They do not occur at birth. To my knowledge they are primarily the result of early childhood sexual imprinting due to various circumstances as a coping response to stress in early developmental stages which is later sexualized after puberty. Another cause of sexual fetishes is that they are also socially and culturally created phenomena. Lastly fetishes can develop from over exposure to pornography.Many people think that fetishes are things like the foot fetish, bondage, masochism, pedophilia, vore, inflation fetish, balloon fetish, furries, necrophilia, pregnancy fetish, fat fetish, hair fetish, fetishes for bodily excretions, fetishes for body injuries, burping and coughing fetishes, asphyxiation, etc.; essentially strange and unorthodox sexual triggers. However even attractions such as breasts and butts and even hair are fetishized by our society. Reason being in tribal societies sexual attraction specifically linked to breasts and butts is nonexistent. Breasts are simply something to feed babies. And while the pleasure center in the female brain is triggered by nipple stimulation, it is likely that this is to build a connection between the mother and her child in breastfeeding.Additionally being that for the vast majority of the evolutionary human experience our species was completely naked for all our lives it would seem that any and all sexual fetishes associated with nudity are relatively recent phenomena for our species only coming into existence with the invention of clothing. Due the fact that the vast majority of humans wear clothes nearly 24 hours per day in society actually can generate and exacerbate sexual fetishes. It is because of the fact that clothes hide the body and thus we often imagine those we are attracted to naked and as is the imagination we tend to exaggerate and emphasize body parts that are fetishized. Thus when a sexualized and fetishized body part is revealed it creates tension and excitement towards said body part thus strengthening the neural rooting of the fetish.People who have been nudists for some significant length of time generally do not get horny at the sight of a naked person because they realize that the human body is not intrinsically sexual. Additionally these people spend a significant amount of time naked every day and are around naked people quite often as well. Thus they are desensitized to nudity. They do not have to imagine those they are attracted to naked as they are usually already unclothed. Because of this, sexual stimulation leading to arousal only occurs when their partner explicitly behaves in an erotic and specifically sexual way towards them. In truth it’s the psychological aspect, the hormones and the sexual behaviors which get the act of sexual intercourse going for people who do not have entrenched sexual fetishes. Now I am in no way at all saying that being naked all of the time will desensitize one to their sexual fetishes. Nor am I saying that nudists are not subject to circumstances that can cause the formation of sexual fetishes. I am saying that because so many fetishes are linked with nudity in some way due to the fact that we wear clothes almost all of the time, it is beneficial to actually have a mindset that is desensitized to nudity as this would greatly diminish the potential for the formation and strengthening of sexual fetishes.With this being said while a sexual fetish can become deeply rooted into one’s psychology it is not impossible to dissolve from one’s mind. Being that the overwhelming majority of fetishes are the result of early onset childhood sexual imprinting, if one manages to find the deep imprint that it is connected with then they can consciously work through the fetish and eventually no longer be stimulated by it. Most fetishes have a deep intrinsic link with emotions. These consist of but are not limited to things like attention, stress, security, control and approval. Because of their intrinsic emotional root, the cause of a fetish can be identified if one manages look deeply enough and mentally work through whatever circumstance may have led to the development of said fetish.In truth if not for childhood stresses causing sexual imprinting, overexposure to pornography, cultural and social preferences and our clothed society, sexual fetishes in all likelihood would not exist. Fetishes result in behaviors that are very strange and sometimes even detrimental and destructive to one’s body and mind. I mean you’ll have grown men having sex and sucking the breasts of their female lovers. Is that really natural? No. It’s the result of a fetishized body part having an emphasized attraction towards it. I suspect the reasons why people passively accept sexual fetishes are because firstly, society says it’s ok as long as it is not harming you or anyone else, and that we all have our weird thing that sexually turns us on. Secondly sexual fetishes result in sexual pleasure as the end result. So even if the fetish is harmful in some way, is in direct conflict with one’s core values, or is just inconvenient since it generates pleasure as an end result of indulgence it is accepted as just a part of who someone is. Lastly sexual energy is extremely powerful and when we are in the act of having sex or masturbating we are quite literally in an altered state of consciousness, especially when we reach climax and orgasm. It’s almost hypnotic as time is of total irrelevance and one’s awareness is entirely present in the act. Due to the power of sexual energy it can cause even the most logical and rationally minded people to come down to their base animal instincts and let the subconscious mind take over; and in this state of consciousness do whatever it takes to obtain that sexual pleasure and eventual orgasmic release. And this is why it is so difficult to dissolve sexual fetishes that have been a part of someone’s sex life for years. The association between the object of the fetish and sexual stimulation is well established and very strong in the mind.Don’t listen to anyone who tells you that you can’t overcome a sexual fetish. You can. However it is going to be a long process that at times will be extremely difficult because sexual energy is a very difficult thing to handle if one is having to undo several years of crimped flow due to an out of alignment fetish. It will require very deep digging within one’s self and facing some demons; however if you stay the path and continue to work through these things eventually you will no longer be sexually stimulated by the fetish you have. This is great news for those who have sexual fetishes that are in direct conflict with their core values and beliefs. Sexual energy is extremely powerful as it is the energy of creation. For many with fetishes that are inconvenient, conflict with core values or are harmful this flow of sexual energy has been in a crimped flow. Additionally the sexual issues of society at large do not help this at all; it often makes things more difficult. Also the fact that sex has been taboo for so long makes it something that is even more enticing. This can also build up sexual frustration and play a part in the formation of fetishes.Please let me know your thoughts on this subject. I would love to get feedback on this. I would like to expand my knowledge and base of information regarding this subject and while I have read books on sexual psychology I have yet to read anything specifically on how natural or unnatural sexual fetishes are. If anyone knows of any books, documentaries or other resources that could help me to learn more on this subject, or just books you think I should look into, it would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for taking the time to read this. Have an amazing day!