Author Topic: quit for good (Read 45060 times)

seneca · « **Reply #25 on:** January 26, 2018, 09:57:39 AM »

As an experienced relapser, I see something in your journal that would set off red lights for me. For me “provocative images” are porn subs, and once I step on them, it’s just a matter of time before I’m slipping and sliding. Just sayin.

joepanic · « **Reply #26 on:** January 28, 2018, 12:20:41 AM »

about to start day 38 been lucky Ive had so much to do Ive been able to keep both my mind and hands busy and totally away from porn I believe this might be the longest Ive ever gone and it feels good So much to learn and so much encouragement here

Cheers

Post often it helps me it helps you

seneca · « **Reply #27 on:** January 28, 2018, 01:31:40 AM »

Beautiful,bro. Keep it going.

joepanic · « **Reply #28 on:** January 29, 2018, 10:03:44 AM »

And its day 39 I.m thinking this might be an easy day as wifey and I had a great romp last night (and I never really experienced the chaser effect) But today I have a few appointments with the dentist for the kids so that will easily keep me out of the house Having done alot of reading Ive come to the conclusion my addiction isnt as strong as some are experiencing to which I consider myself somewhat lucky. I have to say to myself I should have admitted to myself this was a problem years ago but was really too lazy to actually do something more productive with myself. Now that seems to be changing however slow it is I think reading others stories has also opened my eyes to how bad the problem is becoming and the negative effects it is causing

Thanks for following Seneca how is your battle going

Gonna take some time now and read a few journals keep my mind where it belongs

Cheers

Post often it helps me it helps you

joepanic · « **Reply #29 on:** January 30, 2018, 11:39:48 PM »

Finishing day 40 and I dont think ive felt this good in years def no side effects that i notice Wife can strip down in front of me and it doesn't take long to show her my approval going on a mini vacation for 3 days so that should make the next 3 pretty easy

See you all Friday

Cheers

Post often it helps me it helps you

seneca · « **Reply #30 on:** January 31, 2018, 12:16:47 AM »

40 days! Well done, jp. Man are you going to have a great vacation.

joepanic · « **Reply #31 on:** February 05, 2018, 12:28:32 AM »

Back from Vacation and just finishing day 45 I know the counting day by day might seek mundane but it does help me by knowing I'm getting to the finsh line in a series of small marathons I do enjoy reading other journals even if I dont respond or add a post to it It helps me understand some of the issues a bit better and keeps my mind a bit more focused. I can now say I am at he 50% mark or the recommended reboot period I am waiting patiently for that day so I can begin the next step in my healing I'm already doing a little reading on it but not too much as to take it in now and forget it and try to take it in again in 6 weeks or so So much of my reading is on general improvement in my health and wellbeing

Cheers and see yuou all in a day or 2

Post often it helps me it helps you

joepanic · « **Reply #32 on:** February 07, 2018, 07:07:24 AM »

Day 47 starting to get hard to keep track thats probably a good thing not having any urges at all and been keeping quite busy I will dmit I did m once now on the 5th but I think a side effect to no pmo is your fella gets bigger and I sort of wanted to confirm it but I only had to think of my wife for it to get hard no thoughts at all of p before during or after At this point I dont ever see myself going back to P and I'm not worrying about how to fill the void of not using

Hope all are doing well in there battle to quit

Cheers

Post often it helps me it helps you

joepanic · « **Reply #33 on:** February 12, 2018, 05:12:48 PM »

Its Day 52 not much to report still staying clean without urges lots of morning wood(and I swear the thing looks bigger) Havent been out on the gym much but will get back into it this week

Hope everyone is doing well

Post often it helps me it helps you

seneca · « **Reply #34 on:** February 13, 2018, 12:44:28 AM »

Damn, can’t ask for much more than that!

joepanic · « **Reply #35 on:** February 16, 2018, 10:41:50 AM »

Day 56 and moving right along sometimes have a habit of thinking about my wife as much as I can to make myself hard just to see if I'm flat lining sometimes it seems to take some effort but seems to successful Never a problem when she is in the mood and we get i on She still has no idea I had this problem and I'm fighting it and winning She new I surfed porn but not to the extent i was. I think I'll keep it that way They say the truth shall set you free but in this case when I win the battle it will be one that I chose not to remember anything more than it was a battle in an old life I will not be reminicing about in my older years It was a battle I allowed to happen not one pushed on me that deserved some glory and remembrance. And not telling her for now will make it easier for me to leave it in the past without any other entanglements I believe the reason I can do it this way ids I'm also working on any other issues that may have brought me to use porn in the 1st place With those resolved my life will have meaning and better things to think about making me happy and fulfilled. Each day feeling ever so slightly stronger Down 10 lbs since Jan 1st all is good

Hope all are doing good in the battle

ps Thanks for keeping up on me Seneca

Post often it helps me it helps you

seneca · « **Reply #36 on:** February 16, 2018, 11:15:53 PM »

Yes,jp, she does not need to know. Transparency is actually bullshit. Why do so many men think they can’t carry their own burdens? Share the shit here. Youve got the right idea.

joepanic · « **Reply #37 on:** February 20, 2018, 06:44:36 AM »

Day 60

Yes Seneca I so agree Carry your burden until you cant than ask for help. The further in I get the easier it gets Now also down 12 lbs in the same time period I always checked out my wife whenever I could (which she loved) but now I'm doing it even more and she still loves it. I think she knows there is some small change in me but has no idea what maybe she thinks it's because she is also really working hard to get into shape(with noticeable results) So basically she has became my new sub Hope all your battles are going well

Post often in helps me it helps you

joepanic · « **Reply #38 on:** February 22, 2018, 08:27:53 PM »

Day 62 finished not much to report other than feeling pretty good starting to think about new oppertunities I would never have looked at before Its possible its too early but something to consider

hope all are well cheers

post often it helps me it helps you

seneca · « **Reply #39 on:** February 23, 2018, 09:00:30 PM »

Very interesting. Your wife doesn’t know about your change? That’s awesome. I’m sure she senses your new confidence. Was she aware that you had a problem?

joepanic · « **Reply #40 on:** February 24, 2018, 02:16:22 AM »

Nope she has no idea i ever had a problem she new i surfed "a bit of porn on occasion" but not the pmo i used to do daily or he chat forums exc So glad to leave it all behind I always checked out my wife but now i do oit even more than ever I think she is a bit flattered

hope all is well

poist often it helps me it helps you

seneca · « **Reply #41 on:** February 24, 2018, 06:57:39 PM »

Great. No need to share it. A lot of guys fall into this transparency nonsense or 12 step stuff and spill everything. Really unfair to burden our wives with our shit.
Keep at it man. The best thing you can do for your wife is what you are doing.

ineedhelp2018 · « **Reply #42 on:** February 25, 2018, 01:20:55 AM »

Great job man
I wonder if you noticed positive changes
in mind clarity, memory or energy?

Free-man · « **Reply #43 on:** February 26, 2018, 04:47:43 AM »

Great news Joe.

Your wife never should be a subs.
love each other must be the best therapy.
Cheers.

joepanic · « **Reply #44 on:** March 01, 2018, 01:22:37 PM »

Hey guys sorry its been a few days been keeping very busy and not on porn whoo hoo Thanks fpr reading and I will journal a little more in the coming days

Ive almost lost count here but I think its now day 70 give or take a day

Cheers and good luck fighting the good fight

Post often it helps me it helps you

Free-man · « **Reply #45 on:** March 01, 2018, 02:34:33 PM »

welcome back Joe

Busy days no time to boredom, porn and anything else.

Great for you.

joepanic · « **Reply #46 on:** March 06, 2018, 12:24:28 AM »

Wow 75 days never felt better I'm quite often at my computer and alone so the ability to just crash into porn is always present but I have no urge for it another 15 days to reach the Reboot nation recommended goal of 90 days How to celebrate need to start thinking about that wish I had found this site years ago Not feeling so guilty about all the wasted time lost time exc Will ry to post a little more each day

cheers

Post often it helps me it helps you

seneca · « **Reply #47 on:** March 06, 2018, 12:53:52 AM »

Well, I can tell you how not to celebrate

joepanic · « **Reply #48 on:** March 12, 2018, 08:29:52 AM »

Day 81

I must say there are moments when its hard (no pun intended) but the urges seems less strong as each day goes by Its funny how after the 1st few weeks I had huge motivation to quit P but now as I approach the 3 month mark winning the battle doesn't seem as exciting (although every one of us knows how important this is for everyone of us and our family and friends) I will continue to say#1 I know I have/had a problem and #2 I know I needed help with it which I really seemed to find here #3 I took responsibility for it and asked for that help by coming here Those were probably the most important steps Now comes the little things keeping an eye out for the triggers finding more little and big goals to achieve For me this is a bigger part of the battle entering into the uncharted territory I sometimes feel a light chill of fear of failure in these endevours and that being the cause of slipping back into old habits.
With all that being said I did make mad love to the wife Sat night after almost 2 weeks(half our family was sick with colds for a whole week) and I'm happy to report one old habit isn't disappearing and that's I check out her ass every day as she goes about the house....... That is my new porn Her and her alone I know she is always flattered that I do this

Problem is I still check out other ladies asses (never seemed to bother the wife) after all she knows I'm a man and that's just what men do(caught her doing the same but she is considerably more choosy to the ones that she does I find I do this less than I used to so that's a good thing but Not sure I'll ever be able to stop that habit Its usually when were out and about and It doesn't seem to cause a trigger By the time were home Ive forgotten about it

So those are the thoughts of the day Its march break the kids are home lots to do today I hope to respond to a few journals as the week goes on

Hope all are going well with fighting the good fight

Post often it helps me it helps you

Free-man · « **Reply #49 on:** March 14, 2018, 07:47:54 AM »

There are a lot of men out there looking girl's asses.

Yesterday I've seen 2 mid-aged men in their cars looking asses to 2 Young girls running doing footing. I've seen these girls too but I resist and I've just seen 2 girls running doing sport. it wasn't like before like these 2 men that they were fucking these 2 girls in their minds. In that moment I realized that I don't want to be like these men. It was something disgusting see their faces and their eyes, really.

Sometimes I can't resist and look, but I think I'm controlling this trigger.

You can too Joe