Author Topic: quit for good  (Read 45060 times)

seneca

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Re: 15 days now
« Reply #25 on: January 26, 2018, 09:57:39 AM »
As an experienced relapser, I see something in your journal that would set off red lights for me.  For me “provocative images” are porn subs, and once I step on them, it’s just a matter of time before I’m slipping and sliding. Just sayin.

joepanic

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Re: 15 days now
« Reply #26 on: January 28, 2018, 12:20:41 AM »
about to start day 38   been lucky Ive had so much to do  Ive been able to keep both my mind and hands busy and totally away from porn   I believe this might be the longest Ive ever gone   and it feels good   So much to learn and so much encouragement here

      Cheers

                            Post often it helps me it helps you

seneca

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Re: 15 days now
« Reply #27 on: January 28, 2018, 01:31:40 AM »
Beautiful,bro. Keep it going. 

joepanic

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Re: 15 days now
« Reply #28 on: January 29, 2018, 10:03:44 AM »
And its day 39    I.m thinking this might be an easy day as wifey and I had a great romp last night (and I never really experienced the chaser effect)  But today I have a few appointments with the dentist for the kids so that will easily keep me out of the house    Having done alot of reading Ive come to the conclusion my addiction isnt as  strong as some are experiencing to which I consider myself somewhat lucky.  I have to say to myself I should have  admitted  to myself this was a problem years ago  but was really too lazy to actually do something more productive with myself.  Now that seems to be changing  however slow it is   I think reading  others stories has also opened my eyes  to how bad the problem is becoming  and the negative effects it is causing

     Thanks for following Seneca     how is your battle going

      Gonna take some time now and read a few journals   keep my mind where it belongs

          Cheers

                             Post often it helps me it helps you

joepanic

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Re: 40 days now
« Reply #29 on: January 30, 2018, 11:39:48 PM »
   Finishing day 40 and I dont think ive felt this good in years   def no side effects that i notice  Wife  can strip down in front of me and it doesn't take long to  show her my approval   going on a mini vacation for 3 days   so  that should make the next 3 pretty easy

       See you all Friday

       Cheers

                 Post often it helps me it helps you

seneca

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Re: 40 days now
« Reply #30 on: January 31, 2018, 12:16:47 AM »
40 days! Well done, jp.  Man are you going to have a great vacation.

joepanic

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Re: 40 days now
« Reply #31 on: February 05, 2018, 12:28:32 AM »
Back from Vacation  and just finishing day 45   I know the counting day by day might seek mundane but it does help me  by knowing I'm getting to the finsh line in a series of small marathons   I do enjoy reading other journals even if I dont respond or add a post to it   It helps me understand some of the issues a bit better  and keeps my mind a bit more focused.  I can now say I am at he 50% mark  or the recommended reboot period  I am waiting patiently for that day   so I can begin the next step in my healing   I'm already doing a little reading on it  but not too much as to  take it in now and forget it and try to take it in again in 6 weeks or so   So much of my reading is on general improvement in my health and wellbeing

        Cheers and see yuou all in a day or 2

          Post often it helps me it helps you

joepanic

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Re: 40 days now
« Reply #32 on: February 07, 2018, 07:07:24 AM »
Day 47  starting to  get hard to keep track    thats probably a good thing     not having any urges at all and been keeping quite busy   I will dmit  I did m  once now on the 5th  but I think a side effect to no pmo is your fella gets bigger and I sort of wanted to confirm it  but I only had to think of my wife  for it to get hard   no thoughts at all of p before during or after   At this point  I dont ever see myself going back to P  and I'm not worrying about how to fill the void  of not using

     Hope all are doing well in there battle  to quit


       Cheers

                       Post often it helps me it helps you

joepanic

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Re: 40 days now
« Reply #33 on: February 12, 2018, 05:12:48 PM »
Its Day 52  not much to report   still staying clean without urges  lots of morning wood(and I swear the thing looks bigger)   Havent been out on the gym much  but will get back into it this week

                   Hope everyone is doing well

     Post often it helps me it helps you

seneca

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Re: 40 days now
« Reply #34 on: February 13, 2018, 12:44:28 AM »
Damn, can’t ask for much more than that!

joepanic

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Re: 53 days now
« Reply #35 on: February 16, 2018, 10:41:50 AM »
Day 56  and moving right along   sometimes have a habit of  thinking about my wife as much as I can to make myself hard  just to see if I'm flat lining   sometimes it seems to take some effort  but seems to successful   Never a problem when she is in the mood and we get i on   She still has no idea I had this problem  and I'm fighting it and winning   She new I surfed porn  but not to the extent i was.  I think I'll keep it that way     They say the truth shall set you free but in this case when I win the battle it will be one that I chose not to remember anything more than it was   a battle in an old life   I will not be reminicing  about in my older years     It was a battle I allowed to happen  not one pushed on me   that deserved some glory  and remembrance. And not telling her for now  will make it easier for me to leave it in the past  without any other entanglements   I believe the reason I can do it this way ids I'm also working on any other issues  that may have brought me to use porn  in the 1st place   With those resolved  my life will have meaning and better things to think about  making me happy  and fulfilled.    Each day feeling ever so slightly stronger    Down 10 lbs since Jan 1st   all is good

     Hope all are doing good in the battle

       ps  Thanks for keeping up on me Seneca

        Post often it helps me it helps you

seneca

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Re: 53 days now
« Reply #36 on: February 16, 2018, 11:15:53 PM »
Yes,jp, she does not need to know.  Transparency is actually bullshit.  Why do so many men think they can’t carry their own burdens? Share the shit here.  Youve got the right idea.

joepanic

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Re: 53 days now
« Reply #37 on: February 20, 2018, 06:44:36 AM »
Day 60

           Yes Seneca  I so agree    Carry your burden until you cant   than ask for help.   The further in I get the easier it gets  Now also down   12 lbs in the same time period   I always checked out my wife  whenever I could (which she loved)  but now I'm doing it even more  and she still loves it.  I think she knows there is some small change in me   but has no idea what  maybe she thinks it's because she is also really working hard to get into shape(with noticeable results)  So basically she has became my new sub      Hope all your battles are going well

          Post often in helps me it helps you

joepanic

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Re: 53 days now
« Reply #38 on: February 22, 2018, 08:27:53 PM »
Day 62 finished   not much to report other than feeling pretty good  starting to think about new oppertunities I would never have looked at before  Its possible its too early  but something to consider

     hope all are well     cheers


      post often it helps me it helps you

seneca

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Re: 53 days now
« Reply #39 on: February 23, 2018, 09:00:30 PM »
Very interesting.  Your wife doesn’t know about your change? That’s awesome.  I’m sure she senses your new confidence.  Was she aware that you had a problem?

joepanic

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Re: 53 days now
« Reply #40 on: February 24, 2018, 02:16:22 AM »
Nope she has no idea i ever had a problem   she new i surfed "a bit of porn on occasion"  but not the pmo i used to do daily   or he chat forums exc     So glad to leave it all behind   I always checked out my wife  but now i do oit even more than ever  I think she is a bit flattered

    hope all is well


      poist often it helps me it helps you

seneca

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Re: 53 days now
« Reply #41 on: February 24, 2018, 06:57:39 PM »
Great. No need to share it.  A lot of guys fall into this transparency nonsense or 12 step stuff and spill everything.  Really unfair to burden our wives with our shit. 
Keep at it man.  The best thing you can do for your wife is what you are doing.

ineedhelp2018

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Re: 53 days now
« Reply #42 on: February 25, 2018, 01:20:55 AM »
Great job man
I wonder if you noticed positive changes
in mind clarity, memory or energy?

Free-man

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Re: 53 days now
« Reply #43 on: February 26, 2018, 04:47:43 AM »
Great news Joe.

Your wife never should be a subs.
love each other must be the best therapy.
Cheers.

joepanic

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Re: 53 days now
« Reply #44 on: March 01, 2018, 01:22:37 PM »
Hey guys  sorry its been a few days  been keeping very busy   and not on porn   whoo hoo    Thanks fpr reading  and I will journal a little more in the coming days

    Ive almost lost count here   but I think its now day  70   give or take a day


     Cheers and good luck fighting the good fight

        Post often it helps me it helps you

Free-man

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Re: 53 days now
« Reply #45 on: March 01, 2018, 02:34:33 PM »
welcome back Joe

Busy days no time to boredom, porn and anything else.

Great for you.

joepanic

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Re: 53 days now
« Reply #46 on: March 06, 2018, 12:24:28 AM »
Wow  75 days   never felt better   I'm quite often at my computer and alone  so the  ability to just crash into porn is always present  but I have no urge  for it   another 15 days to reach the Reboot nation   recommended goal of 90 days    How to celebrate  need to start thinking about that   wish I had found this site years ago    Not feeling so guilty about all the wasted time   lost time    exc    Will ry to post a little more each day

     cheers


                  Post often it helps me it helps you

seneca

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Re: 53 days now
« Reply #47 on: March 06, 2018, 12:53:52 AM »
Well, I can tell you how not to celebrate  :D

joepanic

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Re: 53 days now
« Reply #48 on: March 12, 2018, 08:29:52 AM »
Day 81

                             I must say  there are moments when its hard (no pun intended)  but the urges seems less strong   as each day goes by   Its funny how after the 1st few weeks   I had huge motivation to quit P   but now as I approach the 3 month mark   winning the battle doesn't seem as exciting (although every one of us knows how important this is for everyone of us and our family and friends)  I will continue to say#1  I know I have/had a problem   and #2 I know I needed help with it  which I really seemed to find here  #3  I took responsibility for it and asked for that help  by coming here     Those were probably the most important steps     Now comes the  little things    keeping an eye out for the triggers   finding more little and big goals to achieve     For me  this is a bigger part of the battle  entering into the uncharted territory   I sometimes feel a light chill of fear of failure  in these endevours   and that being the cause of slipping back into old habits.
     With all that being said   I did make mad love to the wife Sat night   after almost 2 weeks(half our family was sick with colds for a whole week)  and I'm happy to report one old habit isn't disappearing   and that's I check out her ass every day as she goes about the house....... That is my new porn    Her and her alone   I know she is always flattered   that I do this

        Problem is I still check out other ladies asses (never seemed to bother the wife)  after all she knows I'm a man and that's just what men do(caught her  doing the same  but she is considerably more  choosy to the ones that she does     I find I do this less than I used to so that's a good thing but  Not sure I'll ever be able to stop  that habit   Its usually when were out and about  and It doesn't seem to cause a trigger    By the time were home  Ive forgotten about it

  So those are the thoughts of the day     Its march break  the kids are home    lots to do today   I hope to respond to a few journals as the week goes on


      Hope all are going well with fighting the good fight


                Post often it helps me it helps you
 

Free-man

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Re: 53 days now
« Reply #49 on: March 14, 2018, 07:47:54 AM »
There are a lot of men out there looking girl's asses.

Yesterday I've seen 2 mid-aged men in their cars looking asses to 2 Young girls running doing footing. I've seen these girls too but I resist and I've just seen 2 girls running doing sport. it wasn't like before like these 2 men that they were fucking these 2 girls in their minds. In that moment I realized that I don't want to be like these men. It was something disgusting see their faces and their eyes, really.

Sometimes I can't resist and look, but I think I'm controlling this trigger.

You can too Joe