Author Topic: I'm not sure I was addicted  (Read 2434 times)

57yrold

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I'm not sure I was addicted
« on: October 26, 2017, 09:57:29 AM »
I used to watch porn a few times a week, and did escalate to some nasty stuff, but when I stopped looking at it, I just stopped.

That was six weeks ago, and I've had no desire to look at it again.  Nothing close to a relapse.

Seems like it was pretty easy for me to quit porn, so I'm wondering if I was truly addicted.

Not that it matters really.  I have terrible ED and DE, and I'm on hard mode right now (9 days since last O) to reboot.

Just curious if I was actually addicted or not....

AfraidAndUnfulfilled

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Re: I'm not sure I was addicted
« Reply #1 on: October 26, 2017, 11:41:46 AM »
I used to watch porn a few times a week, and did escalate to some nasty stuff, but when I stopped looking at it, I just stopped.

That was six weeks ago, and I've had no desire to look at it again.  Nothing close to a relapse.

Seems like it was pretty easy for me to quit porn, so I'm wondering if I was truly addicted.

Not that it matters really.  I have terrible ED and DE, and I'm on hard mode right now (9 days since last O) to reboot.

Just curious if I was actually addicted or not....

Perhaps not, but what difference does it make? Consider it a gift, that it is so easy for you to walk away from something that won't bring you fulfillment, and focus on that which will. Hopefully you have larger aspirations than the blood flow into your penis.

screwedup40

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Re: I'm not sure I was addicted
« Reply #2 on: October 26, 2017, 07:58:40 PM »
I was without a doubt addicted and it was easy for me to give up porn as well.  I can thank a REALLY deep and long flatline for that.  Could just be that you're flatlining too. 
Been rebooting since May 2015.  A handful of relapses in that time.  Have SLOWLY improved since then.  Finally starting to see some lasting success since summer of 2018.

spirit01

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Re: I'm not sure I was addicted
« Reply #3 on: October 27, 2017, 08:54:57 AM »
Well I agree with the other guys here. Consider yourself a lucky man :D
BUT!!!
Do not understimate pornography. A wrong mindset could lead you to think "Well, I am not addict, so... ". It would be a terrible mistake.
Good luck ! 8)

AfraidAndUnfulfilled

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Re: I'm not sure I was addicted
« Reply #4 on: October 27, 2017, 09:58:18 AM »
I was without a doubt addicted and it was easy for me to give up porn as well.

^This doesn't make any sense ??? An addiction is a behavior or substance that you can't avoid even when it is causing you significant harm. I know addiction, I know what it's like to masturbate 8 times in one night to increasingly disturbing and violent porn, unable to control it while simultaneously drinking myself into a stupor. Just because something is harmful to you, doesn't mean you are addicted. Somehow I've been able to break free from it, but I really have no clue how I was able to do so. I think it just became mundane, I ran out of disturbing porn and there was literally nothing left to escalate to that wouldn't potentially land me in a cozy 6x8, and that sure as hell wasn't worth it. The consequences would have outweighed the mental high. So I was able to stop, to walk away, but not everyone is so lucky as to know where the line is, and when it's time to stop.

That probably sounds pretty sad, that I was only able to stop when the consequences would have outweighed the benefit, but I think that's a sad reality for most of us. The difference between those of us that can walk away and those who can't, is that we were either never addicted in the first place, or we have hit rock bottom, to the point where the consequences would be too devastating to be worth continuing the behavior. TBH I don't even know if I'm entirely in the clear, I didn't escalate to anything definitively against the law, but there is a massive grey area minefield in nearly every aspect of law, and it only takes one miss-step to blow your life to hell. There is plenty of "grey area" smut even on mainstream sites like Pornhub, they are too big to fall and can pay off whomever they like to avoid legal repercussions, but the end user doesn't have that shield, be careful out there, porn is dark and full of terrors :(   
« Last Edit: October 27, 2017, 10:11:17 AM by AfraidAndUnfulfilled »

57yrold

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Re: I'm not sure I was addicted
« Reply #5 on: October 27, 2017, 10:51:58 AM »
AfraidAndUnfulfilled,

See, this is exactly what I'm wondering about.

My definition of 'addicted' is the classic, 'can't live without it', 'feel like I'm going to die if I don't get it', and 'can't seem to give it up.  keep relapsing.'

I do have ED and DE, but I don't feel any of those.  I watched porn on September 15th, then just stopped.  No desire to watch it since then.  No cravings, no peeking, etc.

Now, that being said, I do feel depressed, anxious, having trouble sleeping, shriveled up dead penis, low libido.  From everything I read here all those are signs of addiction withdrawal.

I guess the best thing to do is just keep doing what I'm doing.  Don't look at porn, don't masturbate, and don't have an orgasm for at least 90 days.  It doesn't matter what exactly was going on before, or what the official label says. 

Just NO PMO, and (hopefully) get over the ED and DE.

Thanks,  Best of luck to you!  Stay STRONG!


AfraidAndUnfulfilled

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Re: I'm not sure I was addicted
« Reply #6 on: October 27, 2017, 11:26:33 AM »
AfraidAndUnfulfilled,

See, this is exactly what I'm wondering about.

My definition of 'addicted' is the classic, 'can't live without it', 'feel like I'm going to die if I don't get it', and 'can't seem to give it up.  keep relapsing.'

I do have ED and DE, but I don't feel any of those.  I watched porn on September 15th, then just stopped.  No desire to watch it since then.  No cravings, no peeking, etc.

Now, that being said, I do feel depressed, anxious, having trouble sleeping, shriveled up dead penis, low libido.  From everything I read here all those are signs of addiction withdrawal.

I guess the best thing to do is just keep doing what I'm doing.  Don't look at porn, don't masturbate, and don't have an orgasm for at least 90 days.  It doesn't matter what exactly was going on before, or what the official label says. 

Just NO PMO, and (hopefully) get over the ED and DE.

Thanks,  Best of luck to you!  Stay STRONG!

Sure the ed could also be age or health related, it doesn't hurt to look into other potential causes, and good health should always be a top priority.
Other than that I guess you're just going to have to figure out what is important to you and your partner. Is she bothered by your porn use/have you asked her if she is bothered by it? If she isn't bothered by it, and your ED turns out to be unrelated to porn, then you might have some trouble finding motivation.
Personally I'd rather find better things to do with my time than watching porn, but I'm not going to berate you for living life the way you choose as long as you are being honest with your wife. Just keep in mind that your wife might have deeper concerns than how well you're functioning in regards to porn, she might be hurting emotionally as well.

Might be worthwhile to have a look through the partner's section to get an idea of the potential large scale consequences of this problem:
http://www.rebootnation.org/forum/index.php?board=7.0
Or have a look at this thread I've been working on:
http://www.rebootnation.org/forum/index.php?topic=14403.0
« Last Edit: October 27, 2017, 11:29:23 AM by AfraidAndUnfulfilled »

57yrold

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Re: I'm not sure I was addicted
« Reply #7 on: October 27, 2017, 12:31:48 PM »
I'm not sure what you mean by 'I'm not going to berate you for living life the way you choose as long as you are being honest with your wife. Just keep in mind that your wife might have deeper concerns than how well you're functioning in regards to porn, she might be hurting emotionally as well.'

I've given up porn.  That's the life I'm choosing.  (I'm not 'functioning in regards to porn')

???

AfraidAndUnfulfilled

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Re: I'm not sure I was addicted
« Reply #8 on: October 27, 2017, 01:09:49 PM »
I'm not sure what you mean by 'I'm not going to berate you for living life the way you choose as long as you are being honest with your wife. Just keep in mind that your wife might have deeper concerns than how well you're functioning in regards to porn, she might be hurting emotionally as well.'

I've given up porn.  That's the life I'm choosing.  (I'm not 'functioning in regards to porn')

???

Fair enough, then go see a doc, ED has many potential causes, don't put all your eggs in one basket.

AfraidAndUnfulfilled

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Re: I'm not sure I was addicted
« Reply #9 on: October 27, 2017, 02:50:18 PM »
if you could function with porn but not without porn then the ED is porn-induced.

How about you read over that again and make any necessary edits eh?
The best advice I can offer anyone is to draw their own conclusions. From what I understand, 57 isn't seeing a marked improvement in ED with abstinence from porn, and has already committed to not watching porn regardless of that. That's an excellent choice, but sometimes ED is just ED, or even a side affect of a potentially serious health problem. I would assume that 57yrold is in fact 57 years of age, it wouldn't be unheard of for a 57 year old to be experiencing age related problems.

yesyes1234

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Re: I'm not sure I was addicted
« Reply #10 on: October 29, 2017, 09:01:56 PM »
I think P can still have a lot of negative consequences despite not being addicted. There is definitely a grey zone there.

Jones

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Re: I'm not sure I was addicted
« Reply #11 on: October 31, 2017, 06:51:42 AM »
Quote
^This doesn't make any sense  An addiction is a behavior or substance that you can't avoid even when it is causing you significant harm.
It's called flatline....as he said. If you have ever experienced one before you'd know that you have literally no desire to pmo or to do anything sexual. Which makes it easy to go without it.