Author Topic: Recovering Aussie :)  (Read 1768 times)

fireball318

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Recovering Aussie :)
« on: April 10, 2017, 07:28:35 PM »
Hi guys,
Thanks to the organisers of this great site, and to all who participate and support others.
I'm 46, live in Melbourne Australia, and have finally admitted to myself that I've been addicted to porn.
It went a long way to the destruction of a 10 year relationship with a beautiful woman, and it's affecting my current one.
So I have not watched porn since the start of April 2017.  No problem so far.

I have had long term issues with PE, and would love some help, with respected links etc if they're out there.

I'm confused though with all the PMO, MO, O.  I know what these stand for, but what about no fapping?
What is the concensus about the best way moving forward?  Stop masturbating altogether, or just to porn?
I'm only a week and a half in, and I've MO'd twice and had sex once.  The first time I resisted wanking was excruciating!  Couldn't sleep, concentrate etc., I was so horny.

Any help, greatly appreciated.
Thanks,
Jeremy.

A New Man

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Re: Recovering Aussie :)
« Reply #1 on: April 10, 2017, 10:11:24 PM »
Hey fireball :)

I've been at this a while. I do what they call hard-mode which is basically zero arousal, aside from real women (wife) and real sex (i.e. no M, MO, PMO, fantasy or perving on the street). The trouble with MO for me is it always turns into PMO shortly after. Even real sex done properly (no fantasy during) lights up all the old pathways and i have to be very careful in the days following that i don't relapse to porn.

Other guys keep fapping. I know of one guy who was clean of porn for over 12 months but kept fapping for the duration. There are loads of journals, guys taking different approaches. If you can continue with sex and MO and stay clear of porn, more power to you my man. You might be able to avoid the dreaded flatline altogether. A guy called Saville on the yourbrainrebalanced forum cut out porn and just started having loads of sex with his wife (bastard...).

It is about taking control of behaviour, be it PMO, MO, or compulsive SO (sex addiction)- it's all the same thing when you get down to it, and similar strategies are involved in getting out of all three. Key for me has been deflecting intrusive thoughts (fantasy), building a new life around new activities, and staying focused on the present moment.

It's a hard road- flatlines, big emotional ups and downs- but it's real.

Take care mate, ANM (1 timezone west of you)
"It is fun to have fun but you have to know how." - Dr. Seuss

bob

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Re: Recovering Aussie :)
« Reply #2 on: April 11, 2017, 06:15:07 AM »
Greetings Fire,

I agree with New Man. I tried to eliminate pmo and allow mo but it never stayed on that level. In the long run, it always reverted back to full pmo. Not worth it. But, its really something that you will have to determine.

Peace

40New30

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Re: Recovering Aussie :)
« Reply #3 on: April 12, 2017, 04:39:01 PM »
You should do a proper reboot -- 90 days no PMO, no MO, and no O.  That sucks that you have PE, because having sex is going to blow it for you, pardon the pun.

I have DE, (delayed ejaculation) so I can have sex and not O at the end easily.

Have you tried over the counter supplements or other things for PE?  5 HTP?  Tryptophan?  Cutting caffeine?  Meditation?  Exercise?
You'll probably want to have sex, but I don't recommend O for at least 60 to 90 days in order to reboot your brain from the addiction.

MO has always led be back to PMO, and O's early on in reboots have as well.

fireball318

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Re: Recovering Aussie :)
« Reply #4 on: April 19, 2017, 06:26:36 PM »
It's been a real relief reading everyone's posts - to know that I'm not alone.  Thanks to all.
3 weeks in now, I've watched no porn.  Proud of that.

I haven't had a wank for a couple of weeks.
I've had sex twice with O.  The PE is more of an issue due to lack of 'attention' otherwise.
Interested to hear more about PE from others??  Tryptophan, 5HTP, any other natural (non-pharma) methods or supplements?

I had a situation this week where there was some heavy flirting with an attractive brunette (my girlfriend's girlfriend).  The attraction is very strong and we are both having 'relationship issues'.
OK so I won't burn in hell for being attracted to her.  But, the aftermath in terms of horniness without fapping, is painful.  Hard to concentrate.  Fighting the urge!!
Thanks again guys/girls...


workinprogressUK

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Re: Recovering Aussie :)
« Reply #5 on: April 20, 2017, 09:03:24 AM »
Just got to fight the urge and keep fighting it, my friend. And once you're managing to fight the urge well enough that it isn't filling your every waking moment, I'd agree with ANM's earlier post, that we need to build a new, more rounded, lifestyle with a whole bunch of other things to keep our brains constructively occupied.

For me, the only time recovery has worked has been when I killed P and M completely, including fantasy. When I've let them get back into my brain, I've eventually fallen off my wagon. Wishing you the very best.

fireball318

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Re: Recovering Aussie :)
« Reply #6 on: April 20, 2017, 06:01:36 PM »
Thanks UK.

NewMe48

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Re: Recovering Aussie :)
« Reply #7 on: April 27, 2017, 03:18:04 PM »
I would try to stay away from supplements and focus on living a healthy lifestyle. Diet, exercise and rest are far more beneficial.
Certain foods can increase testosterone like beef, eggs, and peanut butter - look it up!
1. Stay away from caffeinated drinks like coffee, energy drinks, soda, etc.
2. Do mild exercise daily, especially walking or climbing if possible. You must do this every day.
3. Eat whole-grain breads.
4. Eat an apple a day.
5. Drink lots of water.
6. Get at LEAST 8 hours of sleep.
7. Get connected with others again. Think outside yourself.
My libido increased with my wife the more connected I felt toward her. I know that I have been forgiven by the blood of Jesus Christ and I feel less shame and guilt which helps tremendously. Keep off PMO and live in the path of righteousness.
Keep on going!