Author Topic: 1,5 years of rebooting. This is where I am at  (Read 54378 times)

clamborne

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Re: 8 months in and I don't know what to do anymore..
« Reply #250 on: August 22, 2016, 05:46:16 AM »
I'm in the same boat. It's been nearly 8 months for me and I see no improvement. Absolutely zero interest in either sex or jacking it. Interested in girls on a cerebral level, but that's it. Feel exhausted the whole time, my dick is a prune and morning wood is something I get max twice a week.

I honestly don't think it would make a difference to my life right now if I didn't actually have a dick. It's a meaningless appendage for me right now really.

Will my dick ever "wake up"? It's summer too, which I thought might help, but there's just nothing going on down there. It kind of feels like this is how it will be forever. I'm scared.

Did you try having sex already?

No. I know I'm going to have to try at some point. The problem is, I'm just not interested in it.

davenl

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Re: 8 months in and I don't know what to do anymore..
« Reply #251 on: August 22, 2016, 11:27:54 AM »
Really glad to hear that from you man  :D The flatline should be smaller this time, hope you bounce back on the saddle after O.

You're doing really great, just wanna say keep up the excellent work  8)

Thanks for your encouragement mate! Really appreciate that
Rebooting since 14th of January 2016

davenl

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Re: 8 months in and I don't know what to do anymore..
« Reply #252 on: August 22, 2016, 11:29:58 AM »
I'm in the same boat. It's been nearly 8 months for me and I see no improvement. Absolutely zero interest in either sex or jacking it. Interested in girls on a cerebral level, but that's it. Feel exhausted the whole time, my dick is a prune and morning wood is something I get max twice a week.

I honestly don't think it would make a difference to my life right now if I didn't actually have a dick. It's a meaningless appendage for me right now really.

Will my dick ever "wake up"? It's summer too, which I thought might help, but there's just nothing going on down there. It kind of feels like this is how it will be forever. I'm scared.

Did you try having sex already?

No. I know I'm going to have to try at some point. The problem is, I'm just not interested in it.

Mmm yeah get it. I got the same thing, but you might want to try to have a date our two. Maybe it will wake you up a little. Not especially for sex or anything. Just interest in girls. If I learned one thing is that you have to take anything regarding to this reboot supperrrrr slow...
Rebooting since 14th of January 2016

davenl

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Re: 8 months in and I don't know what to do anymore..
« Reply #253 on: August 22, 2016, 11:32:11 AM »
The day after.

Crazy depressive, like I want to cry, but I am even too sad to do that. Im so tired. I hate the world. Everything is so damn nothing. I am completely tired. Got a new coldsore. I feel ill again. It's all fucked. I will continue anyway so that's what we do. But why is everything turing so black after having sex!?!? I feel like I am getting punished every time I try to do the right thing  :'(
« Last Edit: August 22, 2016, 12:07:45 PM by davenl »
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Blenderhead

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Re: 8 months in and I don't know what to do anymore..
« Reply #254 on: August 22, 2016, 01:09:49 PM »
I actually woke up with a 70 % morning wood for first time in three years today. And I feel really horny!

I even get semi erections just by thinking about sex.

I have not experienced this in three years but then again, this is my first time hard mode for more than 100 days. I guess hard mode is the only cure for some people. I have not watched porn in three years. I feel more hope now.
« Last Edit: August 22, 2016, 01:12:18 PM by Blenderhead »

David Albert

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Re: 8 months in and I don't know what to do anymore..
« Reply #255 on: November 08, 2016, 11:00:34 AM »
Hey Dave, how's it going man ? Haven't seen you around in a while, hope everything is OK. Check in and let us know, cheers
"Learn to hate porn. You will never destroy an enemy you embrace."

davenl

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Re: 8 months in and I don't know what to do anymore..
« Reply #256 on: November 13, 2016, 04:27:38 AM »
Hey Dave, how's it going man ? Haven't seen you around in a while, hope everything is OK. Check in and let us know, cheers

Hi David, thanks for asking. Really appreciate it.

Things are not that much different really. I am still seeing this girl. We are going deep into our fantasy world. I am not sure if this has anything to do with my porn past. I guess so. It's intense and nice, but it also makes us sexting days in a row and I am starting to see problems. I am still able to have intercourse, but only I am max 70% hard and I can do it only do it in certain positions (when I am on top).

I am not looking at porn, but p subs start to become an issue again. I feel hooked on it, again starting to have sleep difficulties, social problems, more brainfog, no energy, etc. I also have more problems to get excited when we have sex. So I talked to her and we will limit our sexual contact to the bedroom.

Sexting has been a problem before, so it's not a surprise that these things happen right now. Part of the process and the learning curve I guess. The girl is totally fine with me not erect, but I am not. Besides that, I have much more symptoms next to the ED that are making me feel unhappy. So it is time to start doing something about it again. The girl also have been edging me a lot. I think that might be starting to be a problem too.

I will eliminate both things, starting with the sexting, and see if things will get better.

Rebooting since 14th of January 2016

davenl

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Re: 8 months in and I don't know what to do anymore..
« Reply #257 on: December 11, 2016, 07:32:45 AM »
Wanted to share this video with all of you. I think this guy nails it with reference with the obstacles of our generation. It's not just the P.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hER0Qp6QJNU

It really felt like he was talking about me. It's from a 'corporate' perspective but it doesnt really matter. Im interested about your thoughts on this. Seems like p is just a side effect of what our generation and the upcoming ones face these days
« Last Edit: December 11, 2016, 08:54:35 AM by davenl »
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davenl

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1,5 years of rebooting. This is where I am at
« Reply #258 on: January 17, 2017, 12:23:13 PM »
Hi all,

I haven't been posting for a while because I wanted to stay away for a bit, but I want to get this off my mind.

I have been rebooting for over 1,5 years. My longest streak of hardmode has been about 6 months. After that I would have pretty much successful sex, but the following 3 weeks I would have sex once a week my erections would become less and less until it happened that it didn't work at all anymore. Extremely frustrating.

So I decided to stick with a girl for a while and do rewiring. Same problems, sometimes it works other times it doesn't. Have to say we did some sexting in between which temporarily seems to numb my mood, but I don't pay too much attention to it and it didn't make much of a difference in what I feel or ED.

So the last couple of weeks erections seem to be a bit better but it still is really unstable. Besides that I don't feel much libido and energy in general and extreme tiredness after an orgasm. This is pretty much how it was 1,5 years ago so I am really starting to doubt this whole rebooting theory. Although I am happy that I am not a porn watcher anymore.

Anyways, because of my doubts. I went to a sex therapist this week for the first time in my life. I told basically everything and she asked me a lot of questions. She has a lot of experience and seems to know what she is talking about. But then, her advice came out and she said things like:
- there is no such things as PIED
- there is no scientific proof any link between P and and ED (which is true I believe eventhough YBOP links different addiction studies to P use)
- it is actually good to watch P as long as you start to actually feel what happens to your body
- It might be better to start playing by yourself so you have more space to focus on your own pleasure instead of the pleasure of your partner

So now I have to do a couple of weeks of touching by myself and if I want, use some P or anything that makes me feel arroused. I feel very confused right now, a little frustrated and had to speak off my mind.

I am very interested in all of your response to this.
Rebooting since 14th of January 2016

CB

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Re: 1,5 years of rebooting. This is where I am at
« Reply #259 on: January 17, 2017, 12:30:04 PM »
Congratulations on your time away from porn and beeing sober for a long while! You're a inspiration to a lot of us here!

One thing before you try the touching your self idea, could there be a possibility that your ED is because of stress? Depressed? Anxiety? Or performance anxiety? Since having problems with erection can easily send of your brain in tango, and become worried and anxious about the next time.

All the best!

Si

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Re: 1,5 years of rebooting. This is where I am at
« Reply #260 on: January 17, 2017, 02:20:45 PM »
Davenl, my thoughts on this: The therapist is probably very knowledgeable and intelligent, but may not be up to date with latest research, studies and numbers. Did she have her own theory as to why the percentage of men under 40 with ED has rocketed in the last decade?

As for the reboot... 1.5 years is a long time. I'm almost a year and have seen big improvements, but I think for a full recovery I'm gonna take a good 3 years... I started PMO so young and it shaped my bodies/minds understanding of arousal of intimacy... What I'm saying is, maybe you need more time? 1.5 years ago could u even get an erection to P? Don't give up, think long and hard about the positives you've noticed since giving up. I know it's hard, I'm very low at the minute but there's no other option is there?

davenl

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Re: 1,5 years of rebooting. This is where I am at
« Reply #261 on: January 17, 2017, 03:10:54 PM »
Congratulations on your time away from porn and beeing sober for a long while! You're a inspiration to a lot of us here!

One thing before you try the touching your self idea, could there be a possibility that your ED is because of stress? Depressed? Anxiety? Or performance anxiety? Since having problems with erection can easily send of your brain in tango, and become worried and anxious about the next time.

All the best!

He mate, thanks a lot. If I can do it, anybody can do it  ;D

Stress definitely plays a rol in this. Performance anxiety not so much. I am pretty ok with things that (might not) happen at this point.
Rebooting since 14th of January 2016

davenl

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Re: 1,5 years of rebooting. This is where I am at
« Reply #262 on: January 17, 2017, 03:21:19 PM »
Davenl, my thoughts on this: The therapist is probably very knowledgeable and intelligent, but may not be up to date with latest research, studies and numbers. Did she have her own theory as to why the percentage of men under 40 with ED has rocketed in the last decade?

As for the reboot... 1.5 years is a long time. I'm almost a year and have seen big improvements, but I think for a full recovery I'm gonna take a good 3 years... I started PMO so young and it shaped my bodies/minds understanding of arousal of intimacy... What I'm saying is, maybe you need more time? 1.5 years ago could u even get an erection to P? Don't give up, think long and hard about the positives you've noticed since giving up. I know it's hard, I'm very low at the minute but there's no other option is there?

Yeah I know man. I totally get you. That is exactly why i am confussed. She's actually saying the complete opposite of all I have been believing so far. But the fact that, even after 1,5 years I did not make any progress really makes me start to doubt it all...

The youthfull ED rise is something nobody agrees on. I haven't found any study, including the ones that are posted on ybop, that actually says that youthfull ED rise is due to P. If you have a study who says that, please share it with me.

I will definately stick with no P. I think it is a good thing. I am not going to follow that part of the advice from the therapist. But I also think it might be good to actually start feeling and enjoying sex might be part of the process. Even if that is with yourself. What do you think?
« Last Edit: January 17, 2017, 03:27:47 PM by davenl »
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BootLoader

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Re: 1,5 years of rebooting. This is where I am at
« Reply #263 on: January 18, 2017, 04:21:50 AM »
Morning wood is a very good proof I believe that YBOP is not a "paper tiger" but a fact. Brain fog, depressed and so on are facts also. It's hard to reverse 20/10 years of PMO abuse in just 1 year I believe.
I read your story, you had a lot of O in these 1,5 years I believe.
My opinion is that every PIED guy like me and you suffering from sexual exhaustion. Our sexual lifes needs a lot of rest.
I am at 9 month and I saw a lot of improvements but still having up and down days.
Good luck and don't give up mate.
« Last Edit: January 18, 2017, 09:58:27 AM by BootLoader »
Porn turns a man into a scared boy.
"5-5-2016" The day I realized Ι was a PMO addict.

David Albert

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Re: 1,5 years of rebooting. This is where I am at
« Reply #264 on: March 31, 2017, 02:24:12 PM »
Hey Dave, looking forward to an update man. Hope you didn't follow through with all the bits of advice your counselor gave you...
"Learn to hate porn. You will never destroy an enemy you embrace."

davenl

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Re: 1,5 years of rebooting. This is where I am at
« Reply #265 on: April 15, 2017, 02:54:10 PM »
Morning wood is a very good proof I believe that YBOP is not a "paper tiger" but a fact. Brain fog, depressed and so on are facts also. It's hard to reverse 20/10 years of PMO abuse in just 1 year I believe.
I read your story, you had a lot of O in these 1,5 years I believe.
My opinion is that every PIED guy like me and you suffering from sexual exhaustion. Our sexual lifes needs a lot of rest.
I am at 9 month and I saw a lot of improvements but still having up and down days.
Good luck and don't give up mate.

He mate, thanks for your message. Well the question still is what comes first, the p and m or the depression, burnout, not being happy, things like that. Sexual exhaustion is something non existant; at least that is what western science says. I don't know. Everybody has his own theory and if you listen to them they all seem to make sense in a way.

Anyways, P is not a habbit anymore for me for quite some time and I am happy with that. On the other hand I believe abstaining from m for such a long time kind of took having orgasms and feeling horny out of my system. I don't think this was a very wise descission to make. It probably changes hormone balance and stuff.

I really gave this thing a shot, but I more and more come to the conclusion that it is far to simplistic. Don't get me wrong. I think it is a step in the right direction and it can be a way to start breaking the cycle for many of the people her. But it is far to easy to say that P is the cause of your ED and all of these other symptoms you can read about around here.
Rebooting since 14th of January 2016