Road to Recovery

The Road To Recovery

When dealing with addiction and recovery, one of the first things and maybe the most important thing, that needs to happen is a realization and confession that there is a problem.  So my first point of advice is.

• Admit there is a problem, or that you have an addiction. -You will not want to give up your addiction if you do not think there is a problem. And you for sure will not want to go through any pain or withdrawal if what you're doing doesn't seem to be a problem to you. Everyone has problems they are unaware of, and most addicts are unaware they have addictions, either because they are in denial, or they honestly do not know what they are doing can actually lead to a physical addiction. That's what happened to me, I had no idea that porn, video games, and being on Facebook, Twitter etc. had the ability to change my brain in some of the same ways chemical drugs like cocaine. Giving up porn was an easy decision for me to make (but difficult to follow) once I learned how much damage I was causing my brain.. Which leads me to my next point.

 

• Learn about addiction, and that it's about how our BRAIN changes. -This is so important. Once you learn how your brain has physically changed, and know the basic mechanisms behind addiction, you will feel very enthusiastic and motivated to change. You will be more aware of what is happening to you when you engage in addictive behavior or substances. To begin learning about addiction you can start by reading, the "Start Here" article on yourbrainonporn.com - After gaining an understanding of what drove you into addiction, you will know exactly what you need to do to drive out of it.

 

• Replace the addiction with something healthy. - Obviously this first means quit. When you give up an addiction your brain will start crying out for anything to fill the void that has been left. Most people jump from addiction to another because they are not willing to go through the pain of withdrawal. So to ease the tension they take up something else and fail to see that they just replaced one addiction with another. You have to replace your addiction with something healthy. Working out with weights or cardio, learning how to play an instrument, reading books, building or creating something, dancing, eating as healthy as possible, these are just a few but the main point is CHANGE YOUR LIFESTYLE. Including your environment, bringing to my next step.

 

• Change your environment. - If you have an addiction you need to get rid of EVERYTHING you physically have associated with it, if porn is your struggle get rid of saved pictures, videos, DVD's, magazines, whatever it is it has to go! ASAP! Now, I would suggest putting porn blocking software on all your devices, BUT, only for the "accidental" exposure of it like clicking on a random email, OR, put the software on for the sake of others around you, friends and children, so that they may not get exposed.

  Do not simply rely on the blocking software alone. A combined effort to change lifestyle and environment works best. I have seen hundreds of times where guys rely on the software to keep them from watching porn and they end up finding a way around the system, or they just use a different device. You have to make a choice to not watch it. You have to really want to give it up. I am not saying that porn blocking software is a bad idea, I am saying that relying on it is. With that being said, here is a link to one of the best Filtering Software: "K9 Web Protection". You might want to move your computer to the living room or a place less private.

 

• Get Support!- When I first gave up porn, I spent countless hours (and still do) reading other peoples stories and testimonies, knowing your not alone in recovery is the main reason I made this site. I was shocked there were so many guys going through the same thing as me. I HIGHLY suggest making an anonymous journal, (no one knows who you are!) where you can share your story and get things off your chest. Ask questions, and most importantly get support and encouragement through your recovery! It is not easy to do but it is well worth it. If you have someone in your life that you can share your struggle with who can hold you accountable then I would do it. If not, that's what our online community is for! - Visit the Forum here-or go here to register for an account! I and the rest of The Reboot Nation team/community will answer any questions you have, and help and encourage you along the way to recovery!

 

• Stay Busy - Keeping yourself busy will help keep your mind off your addiction. "free time is the devils playground" is a saying that comes to mind. For most guys boredom is one of the biggest triggers to watch porn. This is also the case with tons of other addictions. Ironically, the more we engage in addictive behavior the more bored we become. If you find yourself bored, a great thing that helped me is just reading recovery stories or getting out of the house and taking my dog for a walk, playing basketball, or whatever you enjoy that wont blast your brain with too much stimulation of course.

 

• Be prepared for withdrawal- When you give up an addiction, you almost certainly will go through some very real physical withdrawal. This not only applies to chemical addictions, but ALSO for behavioral addictions. All addictions have the same main brain cahnges, addiction is now looked at as ONE disease. Be prepared for severe headaches, hightend stress and anxiety, insomnia, depressing thoughts, muscle aches, inability to concentrate (brain fog), unusual behavior. In my case I'm usually a stress free guy, real laid back, but I had some panic attacks where no joke I broke down crying and kicked things like I was a 4 year old who just got all his toys taken away! This is all temporary though! It will help you stay calm when some of these withdrawal symptoms show up if you are aware it's just your brain re-learning everything and your addictive pathways in your brain are weakening.

 

• Learn your triggers and avoid them/replace them- A brain that is addicted has a sneaky way of permitting us to do what we know we should not. Addiction experts call this struggle with self control and decision making hypofrontality. This happens in our frontal cortex (behind our forehead) where our more rational part of our brain wants to recover from porn addiction and expects to feel like crap after a porn binge, but loses the battle to cravings due to really strong pathways we have made in our brains by using porn for years. With hypofrontality, frontal cortex gray matter and functioning decrease, reducing impulse control. Now, in the tug-of-war between long-term goals and short-term relief, the urge to watch porn can win this battle if we do not recognize it is happening. So keep an eye out for your triggers, and when found replace them with something healthier or time better spent. The more you re-direct your behavior to something else instead of porn, your self control in your frontal cortex will get stronger!