Recent Posts

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11
Day 7 today, haven't watched porn since that idiotic binge a week ago.

Did have sex using viagra last night. I will soon have to reckon with the no-sex period once my wife gets pregnant hopefully.

For now it is hard to even get an appointment to get her IUD out. But hopefully we can start trying it in April and she gets pregnant by June, as we are aiming to have a baby in our lives by next year.

It is when she will be pregnant when I will get a solid chance to go PMO free.

So far, the days i can avoid porn, they feel liberating.

And another thing, when i don't watch porn, i notice that I get hard to touch easily, and it stays hard for a bit. The day i even peek at porn, it gets much more difficult to get hard to touch.

Hang in there guys. This can be beaten.
12
Ages 40 and up / Re: Nick 2.0
« Last post by Nick Simons on Today at 08:32:36 AM »
Alright ... day 8!

... and I'm spending tons of time continuing to watch YBOP videos and learning more about the science experiment taking place in my brain, the negative consequences of this addiction and how it trashes lives, but also the awesome success stories.   I'm also trying to put in place a regular routine each morning / evening to stay connected (like on this forum), and reflect on my progress ... hoping this will build some momentum and prevent any relapses.  So far so good.

So far it really hasn't been too bad ... I'm feeling good about myself by increasing my daily workouts and eating pretty healthy ... but I will say that every now and then there is this little voice that tries to introduce seeds of doubt into my self talk.  Things like "sure its OK now, but its only your first week ... do you really think you can keep this up for 1 month, 2 months, forever?" ... that kind of crap.  I want to kick that little voices' ass to the curb!  I think patience, humor, and not putting added pressure will help to muffle the negatively.  I'll let you know my progress - any thoughts / advice on dealing with those negative thoughts that try to drag you back to the old ways would be appreciated. 

Stay strong ...

   
13
Ages 40 and up / Starting new
« Last post by Wasted years on Today at 08:15:16 AM »
I've been hesitant to post anything, because I'm ashamed of all the years I've wasted, sitting in front of my computer, looking for the video that would make all my dreams come true. Guess what? I've never found it. I've been  clean for a little over a month now and I'm feeling good. I think its time to take my life back.
14
Hey,

You're doing well on passing the two month mark, congrats! For YouTube I have the Google SafeSearch enabled. It blocks really well and there's none of these suggestive videos as you describe. Regarding the dating or finding some person, that's really up to you. As you also said, I don't think it's a good thing to use a person as a sexual outlet. After my wife found out a lot of things started making sense to her, sex felt to her like I used her body to masturbate. Now that's messed up and something I really don't ever want again. Actively looking for sex with a person for the sake of sex doesn't help much in recovering I think. I imagine that it's just a form of replacement to the brain and not really a connection. However, developing a real relationship can be a really good thing and doesn't have to have this pure sexual focus.

There's quite some things to consider given your personal situation but if you're looking for a connection to be with someone that's a good thing. If you search for someone just to aid you in your rehabilitation it can be harmful as well to both. I do have to stress that I don't have any experience in this and I'm just sharing my thoughts. I think simply writing out these thoughts of yours has already been helpful and it's good that you're actively finding motivation and reasons.

Keep it up! You're doing well :)


Thank you Sanders,

I was a bit to horny last night. I guess the positive thing about it was that I wasn't drawn to P but to having real sex. But it's still not good. Yep! What you're saying makes perfect sense. I deleted my tinder profile just now. It was just about me using people as objects again. It was never about finding a real relationship. I was lying to myself.

This experience helped me a bit though because it redirected my horniness away from using P in the moment and the fact that a lot of people liked my tinder-profile gave me some confidence in myself. It was the right thing for me to remove it though. Thanks for helping me realizing it.

It is a problematic situation that I'm now in. I have such a high sexual energy in me now that I can't see things straight. It makes me, in horny moments, start to see people as objects and that makes it hard for me to find a genuine relationship that isn't focused on sex.
I have been in this situation before: On my second streak, I went 145 days on hard mode. At day 145 I felt like I had become so focused on sex that people had turned into objects for me again but this time without the influence of P. What I did then was to M to release sexual energy (It was also just an excuse I told myself so I could feel good in the moment). The sensation was very unsatisfactory. I thought that it would be a powerful experience after all that time but it wasn't. Directly after that I stopped having that ultra high sexual energy and I started to see things straight again. Still I wished that I hadn't done it. It put my mind in a low and uncomfortable state. I had been thinking about meeting a stranger then but after my M session I couldn't understand how the heck I had been thinking. It looked like I had done the right thing but then I had the chaser-effect. I kept M:ing for three days and then I had a full on relapse and began a month where I binged to P every day. I didn't get past 10 days after that for almost two years.

I wouldn't dare to try M:ing away my sexual energy again because it could lead to a relapse just like before. I need to do some research on how to handle my sexual energy. Maybe there is some yoga or something. I will also try to focus on other things. Developing in other ways. I will try to avoid thinking about sex and cure my loneliness with my friends instead.

Another factor that made me go to a body contact site is that I, in my horniness, suddenly have become bi-curious and I have been thinking about being used by a man. The thought have excited me. I don't think that I really want this because I'm ordinarily not attracted to men physically and when I stop being horny I find the thought to be a bit off-putting for me. I know that If I M:ed now I would suddenly lose the interest for this but as I said I'm not ready to do that. Could this be the influence of P? In the past I have escalated to that sort of material but I'm pretty sure that it isn't my natural state. Maybe it's natural to be curious but I think that It would go against the way of not objectifying people. I'm glad that I have come to my senses now even though I feel like a leaf blowing in the wind.
15
Ages 20-29 / Re: 24yo Journal
« Last post by rob24 on Today at 06:25:15 AM »
Another check-in today. On my log, I'm on my 4th day off - just still looking for that sense of renewal. I found that relapsing and listening to music were helpful at changing my emotional state previously. I wonder if I can channel that in a similar way in the sense of a "practice" to keep it on - I think I'll try that today - listening to a song for a sense of rejuvenation. They say that music can help you with that!
16
Teens / Re: Just needed some good wishes and support
« Last post by rohit6223 on Today at 05:52:02 AM »
I relapsed after 110 days of reboot. But I think it never set you back. The time you give for your brain to rewire is important. After a reboot your will power increases. And the will power is also good after such good reboot. Just make a relapse handling plan for it. I mean if you relapsed one time after such reboot, just make it only one relapse. Never enter in that addiction cycle again.
Ok keep going you are doing very well .

 I don't know bro for me it feels like after every reboot my will power is just getting weaker and weaker in the long run. For instance when i was a kid and started fapping i was satisfied with only 1 fap session gradually in the process of repeated loop 2 times in one go and then 3 times. Now whenever i relapse i go upto a minimum of 18 19 times in 1 go. And nearly a month is destroyed in this process. by relapsing upto 30 times in a  month and then waiting for recovery. So I think to make it out of this in 1 go is so important.
17
Hey man,  I am 24 form India, I was also porn addict, though I started porn at 18 years of age. Initially leaving porn was difficult, but now I have been away form porn for more than 4 months.

My main problem right now is masturbation, which I go once in a 7 to 8 days

18
Ages 20-29 / Age 24, Male, leaving masturbation habit.
« Last post by hope 2021 on Today at 05:43:53 AM »
So, I have been on nofap on and off form June 2020, I suffered from PIED where I could get hard only by porn and nothing else.
Now, I have reached to a point where I can get hard by myself, I honestly i dont care much about it most of the time, I am porn free for 4 months.

My main problem right now is to leave masturbation, which I need to leave completely to get full benefits.

Today is day zero, I want support for you people.

19
Day 0, I masturbated today
20
Hey,

You're doing well on passing the two month mark, congrats! For YouTube I have the Google SafeSearch enabled. It blocks really well and there's none of these suggestive videos as you describe. Regarding the dating or finding some person, that's really up to you. As you also said, I don't think it's a good thing to use a person as a sexual outlet. After my wife found out a lot of things started making sense to her, sex felt to her like I used her body to masturbate. Now that's messed up and something I really don't ever want again. Actively looking for sex with a person for the sake of sex doesn't help much in recovering I think. I imagine that it's just a form of replacement to the brain and not really a connection. However, developing a real relationship can be a really good thing and doesn't have to have this pure sexual focus.

There's quite some things to consider given your personal situation but if you're looking for a connection to be with someone that's a good thing. If you search for someone just to aid you in your rehabilitation it can be harmful as well to both. I do have to stress that I don't have any experience in this and I'm just sharing my thoughts. I think simply writing out these thoughts of yours has already been helpful and it's good that you're actively finding motivation and reasons.

Keep it up! You're doing well :)
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