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Messages - Taka

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thank you for the article Gary

Ages 20-29 / Re: Road to recovery - a winning path?
« on: July 18, 2015, 06:14:02 AM »
Ok 90 days without PMO is almost past me. Will not budge. But let it take a step further, another 90 days without MO.

Ages 20-29 / Re: Road to recovery - a winning path?
« on: June 19, 2015, 02:11:03 PM »
Oh yeah. Closing in on my previous record. I almost gave up rebooting and was watching P from time to time. Nevertheless I am back on track and I am soooo close to getting to initial 90 days and hopefully beyond.

One note aside: During my rebooting trials my sex life improved significantly  ;) ;) I even started to enjoying real life sex encounters which was impossible before since my penis and my mind was completely numb to the experience. Everytime I watched P however I had some minor DE and ED problems. I have to cast this devil from my life for good.

Ages 20-29 / Re: Road to recovery - a winning path?
« on: May 25, 2015, 05:14:43 PM »
I´ve got some news, everyone. My battle with this addiction is good so far. I´m at day 34 and have a critical period since I´ve got some cravings and porn flashbacks. My dreams are weird according to categories of videos I´ve used to watch.

I can only say that rebooting becomes easier every time one fails (willingly or not) and starts over. Important things for me are to find good life and work balance and healthy relationships. The second one is much harder since I have multiple girls romantically interested in me (Yes, I think it is partially thanks to rebooting).

Fun fact, my friend down there now tells me if a date with the girl is going well and she is into me by getting a little hard. Primal instincts are back man :D

Ages 20-29 / Re: Road to recovery - a winning path?
« on: March 25, 2015, 04:58:46 PM »
Hey Crazy Gopher. Things was not going well between my grilfriend and me. Anyway, long story short I have failed my abstinence of porn. Also found out stress is my biggest enemy here.

Ages 20-29 / Re: Road to recovery
« on: December 07, 2014, 03:58:08 PM »
I am going for my new record. Already hit my previous record. This time several things helped me - new job, introducing MO every once in a while, new girlfriend and very little of spare time. Hope I will share my success story soon :)

Ages 20-29 / Re: Road to recovery
« on: October 15, 2014, 04:04:00 PM »
Okay, so today I have found that reading my old posts about progress is quite helpful. The benefits are amazing if you can last for a long time. Almost forgot about that.

I started having problems with DE. I think I was getting some glimpses of PIED as I started to have softer erections when PMOing. I was also able to get erection without porn and have occasional morning woods. I fully realized I have a problem when I was unable to give up porn for more than a week or so. So testing of porn addiction is ok through touch without fantasy or artificial stimulation but just to be sure, try to avoid porn for some time (ideally forever) and see what happens.

Ages 20-29 / Re: Road to recovery
« on: October 03, 2014, 09:32:45 PM »
Ok, so I have been finally able to keep it together and I am almost 8 days clean again. I was on a few dates recently and it was very helpful. Hope I will not budge in the near future and finally erradicate porn use from my life.

Ages 20-29 / Re: Road to recovery
« on: September 28, 2014, 04:29:03 PM »
Any insights on the  topic of advantages and disadvantages of having a girlfriend during reboot. I feel like I cannot do it when I am single, can I?

Ages 20-29 / Re: Road to recovery
« on: September 26, 2014, 07:24:30 AM »
Oh man, I have just found out girl I am interested in got another suitor. I cannot go through such crap. I really need a steady girlfriend just for me. This just leads me to a circle of relapses. I had another good streak going on but now I just gave up.

Well of course if the best movie you saw was not porn, then it is probably ok :D

Ages 20-29 / Re: Get UP...and DO, not TRY it one last time!
« on: August 08, 2014, 12:19:21 PM »
It is hard man. I have gave up the hardcore mode because I have got a good streaks of no PMO before and I think my brain knows it is almost okay. What I am working on right know is to keep MO and P separated. When I thought I was "healed" I have started to enjoy MO from time to time but it was so strongly connected to P in my brain that I relapsed eventually. So now, when I am stressed, bored, lonely and it feels too much to handle I get away from the computer to MO. It is not a good habit to MO when stressed either but at least it is without porn.

Ages 20-29 / Re: Road to recovery
« on: August 06, 2014, 05:27:48 AM »
Ok guys, here is an update. I think I am finally back on track. I have passed one week mark of no P and that was crucial for me. Hope this time I will banish this habit for good. Since I am rebooting for a long time and had several long streak I have already begun to rewire my brain.

Ages 20-29 / Re: Road to recovery
« on: July 28, 2014, 04:48:01 PM »
I have got an interesting experience. Some girl writes me on the internet if I want to F her right now in the middle of the night but before her boyfriend. It is funny because I liked those scenes in P but I know my dick simply would not work in the real situation. I mean not that it would not work because of ED problems but because it would be weird to try to get it up before a complete stranger. This really let me see that fantasy and reality is so far apart.

Ages 20-29 / Re: Road to recovery
« on: July 24, 2014, 08:00:11 AM »
Thx for your post jnv. Good to hear there are guys like me going through similar stuff.
Anyway it is very hard to break that vicious circle of relapses. I guess I really need to get a long term girlfriend.

Ages 20-29 / Re: Road to recovery
« on: July 20, 2014, 01:30:25 PM »
Okay fellas here is an update. I think I have pretty much recovered sensation for pleasure. My schlong no longer feels completely numb like before. I think this aspect of my problem is gone. Touching and stroking from myself and girls feels good again and not like I am humping air. Almost like I was just a teenager and starting to M. One of remaining things is to eradicate porn from my life because I had a few relapses about week apart from each other since last post (although it was erotic literature and softcore pics, but porn nonetheless).
I also need to work on relationships with girls and learn to show interest and feelings (I am giving all sorts of mixed signals and it just never works that way).

Porn Addiction / Re: Unablity to love your GF
« on: July 07, 2014, 06:16:33 AM »
There are studies out there that say all of these things can happen to people who watch porn.  They tend to be more focused on physical appearance and lose love for their partners as they become more critical of how they look.

Damn, that is exactly what I have been doing with my girlfriends past few years. I like them at first, getting rush and thrill just from seeing them, kissing them, holding their hand. There is a big BUT- almost from the first moment I find something about their appearance and it is creeping into my head more and more, even though they are good looking girls. Even though I like them, this flaw starts to unconciously alter my behaviour towards them (kind of hostile or passive agressive) and it goes to shit. So there might be some truth to it.

Porn Addiction / Re: don jon
« on: July 07, 2014, 05:58:58 AM »
There was a discussion about this movie before. .

I cannot emphasize this more - do not watch the movie if you are deep into rebooting process, it is full of triggers.
Otherwise it might be a good movie to see for those who are gathering info and are just about to start the reboot. It is not a movie exclusively about P addiction but generally about media bias of sex and relationships.

Porn Addiction / Re: I relapsed on day 47...
« on: July 07, 2014, 05:50:32 AM »
fnatk Good job, keep it steady. I have looked at your journal and wow what a story. Just keep piling up those weeks and work on yourself. It is very hard but we can do it.

Porn Addiction / Re: I relapsed on day 47...
« on: July 06, 2014, 04:43:43 PM »
Well DeltaFosAware, why I counted it as relapse was mainly because it is couple of years since we were together so it was not based on something that really happened between us. It was like a virtual based fantasy, similar to erotic story. So I think this is dangerous to progress just as "regular" porn related relapses.

I do not know about Ming to something that really happened but it is kind of a fantasy. Well for me, masturbating (without fantasy at first) or having sex with a partner create such strong chaser effect that it leads to relapse with porn eventually. So I am purist in this matter and the hardcore mode is the only way for me out of this.

Porn Addiction / Re: I relapsed on day 47...
« on: July 06, 2014, 06:37:03 AM »
Yeah, that was my longest streak. You certainly do not loose all of your progress, just need to stay on track. As you can see from my counter I relapsed after a week of no PMO. It was not a porn but a fantasy about my ex, but it still counts. I was just having a bath and BUM, it all goes to shit. I am not counting it as starting from day one but I really want to be able to resist any form of fantasy again.

Boy, do I wish for a flatline!

You said it well Gabe in those few seconds. It was a dick move from Ley to follow with other causes for ED like smoking, drug use, health, stress, relationship and anxiety. He might be right that there are other environmental factors leading to ED, but he does not reveal to which age group he is referring and if respondents in those studies even have history of porn abuse. It could be factors that affect us but why is he so against the idea main leading cause for ED (especially in young males) is porn. As he pointed out there are not a lot of studies supporting this idea because the idea itself is something fairly new. Like rebooterer said: "he should know better", as an academic.

Porn Addiction / Re: I relapsed on day 47...
« on: July 05, 2014, 09:57:57 AM »
Yeah I have relapsed recently around day 65. It was because of alcohol use. I did not remeber it that much in the morning but I binged like fuck. Now I am fighting to stay on track again. It is hard, so hard. The images from porn are still fresh in my mind. I had to walk away from my computer couple of times when I felt that the urges are coming. I am trying to focus on the fact that I will have a date soon and I want to be myself, so that is helping me not to give up to chaser effect.

Ages 20-29 / Re: Road to recovery
« on: July 02, 2014, 03:39:27 AM »
2 DonnyD: No, masturbation is off limit again. The thing is that masturbation is closely connected to P in my brain so I think it was inevitable outcome to relapse. My relapse was caused by stress and I think I was drunk and shit so there are many factors. But the connection between M and P is definitely there.

I think it is important to rewire with a real partner for me. The thing is I have kind of a dry spell right now so I thought why not MO. Not a good idea. As one of my fellow rebooters suggested I should stay off all social media thingy and dating sites, so I will try that.

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