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Messages - Psyc Ops

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51
Porn Addiction / Re: "Free January" challenge
« on: January 12, 2019, 06:56:06 AM »
12.  No porn.  Clear.

52
Porn Addiction / Re: "Free January" challenge
« on: January 11, 2019, 08:28:34 AM »
11 clear.

53
Porn Addiction / Re: Dangerous territory
« on: January 10, 2019, 01:52:06 PM »
If you can have sex and can have orgasm during sex, then, yes, porn can be a problem, but compared to many here, you don't have much in the way of problems.  The enemy is not dopamine, but use of artificial sexual stimulation to achieve prolonged, powerful dopamine rushes, meaning porn is more efficient than sex, for most here, to achieve that high. Just work on quitting porn, and enjoy your sex life.  It will all be OK. 

54
Porn Addiction / Re: "Free January" challenge
« on: January 10, 2019, 09:25:36 AM »
10.  Clear.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FNEJXKTSkYM

Never going back. 

55
Porn Addiction / Re: "Free January" challenge
« on: January 09, 2019, 02:12:08 PM »
Most people, especially newies, fail multiple times because they do not understand the problem they are seeking a solution for.  Too many think the problem is "porn", and so think the solution is quitting watching porn.  That is too simplistic, and in fact, wrong.  The problem is using porn to achieve a dopamine rush.  It is the dopamine rush that is addictive, not the porn we use to get it.  Gary Wilson figured it out 6 years ago.  Watch this, study this.  It helps.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSF82AwSDiU

56
Porn Addiction / Re: "Free January" challenge
« on: January 09, 2019, 09:05:02 AM »

57
Porn Addiction / Re: "Free January" challenge
« on: January 08, 2019, 09:05:04 AM »
8. Clear.  No porn. 

58
Porn Addiction / Re: "Free January" challenge
« on: January 07, 2019, 07:40:22 AM »
7.  No porn. No use of artificial sexual stimulation to boost a dopamine high.  It will be this way, every day, this month. Period.

59
Porn Addiction / Re: Rewiring question
« on: January 06, 2019, 12:00:45 PM »
Socializing is fine.  Mingling is fine. The main thing is: no porn, no PMO.  Doing anything with other human being that you enjoy is helpful, but, of course, eventually, sex. 

60
Porn Addiction / Re: "Free January" challenge
« on: January 06, 2019, 08:46:37 AM »
6.  Clear. No porn, no use of artificial sexual stimulation to reach a dopamine high.  I did have sex yesterday. I got no complaints. :)

61
Porn Addiction / Re: "Free January" challenge
« on: January 05, 2019, 06:44:29 PM »
Do the hard 90, and dedicate yourself to it. Don't use porn for 90 days. Plan on suffering and plan on avoiding the dopamine rush from artificial sexual stimulation. Think of the hard 90 as training wheels. By the end, if done right, you won't need them anymore to ride that bike.  Are you going to wreck it a couple of times?  Maybe, but no one forgets how to ride the bike.

62
Porn Addiction / Re: "Free January" challenge
« on: January 05, 2019, 11:41:14 AM »
It is incredibly difficult.  Before you take the first step you have to have made the decision to suffer.  In a sense, for a junkie, the decision to quit addiction is the decision to suffer.  It is a hard choice.  That pain will, eventually, lessen, and go away, and there is a morning in your future where you wake up and don't even miss it, porn and the dopamine euphoria it brings.  But, between now and then, there is pain.  Pain is the price we pay for freedom.  Pay it, or stay in the chains.  If you pay it, you will one day conclude the price was a cheap price to pay, in return for what you get.  If you don't pay it, you keep your chains.   

63
Porn Addiction / Re: "Free January" challenge
« on: January 05, 2019, 10:59:21 AM »
Pornjunkie.  It is because you have not made the decision, and the decision, for guys like us, is incredibly difficult to make.  I know.  You are still trying to control porn.  For a junkie, porn cannot be controlled.  That must be accepted.  Accept that you have no control over it.  It is no tragedy.  Your situation is not tragic. Porn addiction is not something that just happens to us, it is a trained, learned, conditioned behavior. It is not like catching a cold; we train our brains over years to become addicted, it is just that we do not understand that at the time.  So, time to start understanding the way your brain works.

Accept that because you have no control over porn, the only way to have any control is to eradicate if from your life.  Once you accept you cannot control it in your life, but are just giving it up, as in forever, impossible becomes merely incredibly difficult.  You are a member of the alpha species on the planet.  If you try, very hard, you will eat incredibly difficult for a mid morning snack.  No easy way out, but, there is a way out.  Quit the challenge, quit counting the days.  The days do not matter if you are quit forever.   

64
Porn Addiction / Re: "Free January" challenge
« on: January 05, 2019, 08:43:21 AM »
Day 5, no porn.  Translation, no use of porn to achieve a dopamine rush.  It is not that I don't like a dopamine rush, I do, but I realized that getting it through artificial sexual stimulation could be, and was, addictive and had negative consequences in my life.  This is about humanity dealing with new tech.  We are figuring it out.  It is going to be OK.  If you are a newbie reading this, take a deep breath and do not panic. Take some time to study the problem, and you will find a solution to it.  There IS a solution, and the solution is simply not using P to achieve a dopamine hit.  That takes time and effort; like studying for a test.  But you can do it.  Back tomorrow for day 6 clear.

65
Porn Addiction / Re: "Free January" challenge
« on: January 04, 2019, 08:32:13 AM »
Quitting is about changing patterns.  We have one pattern, then, we change, and we have another pattern.  Today I am running (2K) and...not watching porn.  I won't use porn today to jack my dopamine response system.

Day 4.  Clear.

If you are reading this, and you have the problem, you can too.  It will mean giving up something that you do not want to give up, but which has no value in your life. 

Only you can answer the question: Is it better for me with P in my life, or better for me without P in my life?

Tomorrow:  Day 5.

It's OK.   4 days have not killed me.  Tomorrow won't either.

Join us. 

66
Porn Addiction / Re: "Free January" challenge
« on: January 03, 2019, 08:08:51 AM »
It is easy to overthink this, and the addiction invites us to overthink it.  Overthinking it makes it complicated; complicated is difficult to solve. The addiction wants you to believe it is difficult to solve.  It is not difficult; painful, yes, difficult no.  It was easy to train our brains to become addicted because the dopamine response we get from using feels good. It is painful to train our brains not to get that response via porn because A) it does not feel good, as in it does not result in a dopamine high, and B) it hurts, because of withdrawals. 

The simple solution of quitting any addiction is abstinence.  Not using. 

Day 3 of this challenge.  Not using. 

Thank you changemylife. 

67
Porn Addiction / Re: "Free January" challenge
« on: January 02, 2019, 09:22:58 AM »
Day 2.  I am clear and clean.  No porn.  No artificial sexual stimulation. I will do this for January.  Every single day.

68
Porn Addiction / Re: "Free January" challenge
« on: January 01, 2019, 10:41:06 PM »
OK.  Fuck everyone.  I am in.  There will be no porn, no mo, no PMO, no ... well not no O because I am having sex on a regular basis.  This thread is officially hot for January.  I want ever porn addict who wants to get clean to commit to this thread.  At  a certain point, there is either commitment to altering your life or commitment to continuing it, as it is.  I commit to not watching porn for the month of January.  Any else who wants to join, welcome to the party pal.  Light it up.  This is an invitation.  Anyone committed to getting clean, to altering their life, to quitting porn addiction, post here.  changemylife I think you may have.  I will post here every day.   Thank you.  Let's get it started.  Commit. 

Thank you changemylife.  I think I will.  Good 2019.  Peace out. 

Psyc Ops.

69
Porn Addiction / Re: Saturday = 8 months of 100% sobriety
« on: December 05, 2018, 08:34:47 PM »
Fan fucking taskic.  Thank you for letting us all know it can be done.  We need people who can show us that. Thank you. 

70
Porn Addiction / Re: Dopamine PIED
« on: November 21, 2018, 09:05:44 AM »
We only just got here.  We=humanity.  Here=modern society, emphasis on modern society with High Speed Internet Porn.  In the future there will be a before and after, and the before and after will be before internet and after internet.  The internet changed things because it made access to artificial super  sexual stimulation widely available. 

All addictions have to do with "availability".  This means, no matter how much we like the feeling it gives us, if getting that feeling is unavailable to us, we will not become addicted to it.  We cannot become addicted to it.  High Speed Internet Porn made this feeling widely available, where, before HSIP, it was not. 

We liked porn before the internet.  However, no one reported being addicted to porn prior to the internet.  The internet, specifically High Speed Internet Porn, changed things.  That gave us access to artificial super sexual stimulation in a way we had not had it before. Some of us remember a reality prior to HSIP.  That is changing. It will not be that long, in an evolutionary sense, before no human will be born that does not have access to HSIP.  This is a relatively new stimulus introduced into our environment, as a species. 

To answer your question, I think you need to look at humanity about two thousand years ago.  Very little in the way of artificial super sexual stimulation.  Nothing like HSIP.  Our brains had evolved to reward sex and sexual thought as a means of encouraging reproduction, and it worked just fine.  We liked to think about fucking and we liked to fuck, and, as a result, we made babies, and nature was content. 

Fast forward to 2010, and we introduce this new thing into our environment, HSIP, which can be translated into the ability to give ourselves a daily endless dopamine rush without sex. As a species we are going to survive it, but it is going to change us, and already is. There are groups of people on the planet that are opting out of sex, in favor of artificial super sexual stimulation.  Quite simply, if one is interested in a dopamine rush via sexual thoughts, porn if far more efficient in getting that, than without it.  When I say "porn" I mean High Speed Internet Porn.  It can take you to that rush faster with far less effort than reality ever could. 

There are two things, Calvin, that our brain is wired to "want".  Our brains are wired to want sex, and our brains are wired to want food.  Wanting sex is about perpetuating the species.  Wanting food is about perpetuating the individual, so the individual can want sex.  Sure, beyond that we can go on to want great things, but, baseline, those two things are the things every human is born to want.

When we get into the "wanting" part of it, that is where dopamine comes in.  We want food and sex because dopamine, the neurotransmitter, is released/emitted/exists as a reward/motivational neurotransmitter. Dopamine is nature's carrot and whip.  Nature wants us making babies, and nature figured out that giving a dopamine reward in response to sexual thoughts is an efficient way of encouraging reproduction.  It works.  It is just that nature did not anticipate HSIP.  This is a new way of getting what we want. 

With HSIP, we invented a button we could push to get a dopamine rush without any effort at all.  Push it often enough, and long enough, and the brain   starts to expect that rush as a new normal, thus forming the addiction.  Sucks, but, once understood, fixable and correctable.  Porn addiction is a trained, learned, reality.  Once we understand the reality of it, we can train ourselves out of it.

As for junk food, here is an experiment.  Do not drink or eat for five days, then go to a Burger King... Tell me if you are hungry or thirsty, and, are you going to order Coke or just water?   You are ordering Coke. It's like Gary says about fish and water.  Fish cannot study water because, being so immersed in it, they just don't know a reality exists in which everyone is not submerged in it.

Very simply, your brain rewards sexual thoughts, and thoughts of food, with a dopamine hit.  No doubt more complicated than that; in that actual sex, and actual consumption, are, likewise, rewarded with the same hit, and even more neuro-chemical reactions and rewards.  You like an orgasm? I like an orgasm.  You like a Big Mac?  I like a Big Mac.  All of us "like" those things for the same reason.  Dopamine.  It is just that we are dealing with a new reality because getting a dopamine high via those means is, due to modern society, much more available now than when our brains first evolved to its current state.

Our environment is changing, relatively speaking, quite fast.  Our brains are figuring out how to keep up.

Ultimately every addiction is a choice.  Choose to keep pushing the button, or, choose not to. It is hard to choose not to because we really love that dopamine hit.  We are wired to love it. If pushing that button did not cause a problem in our lives (over eating =obesity and health problems, sex/porn addiction=social interaction problems) we would not quit pushing it. So, question:  What problem in your life has this addiction caused that is sufficiently problematic that you want to fix it more than watch porn? If you don't know the answer, I doubt you will quit porn.

You push the porn button for a dopamine hit.  Similar with food, not just junk food, all food. You are wired to want it, and are rewarded with seeking and finding it with the neurological reward of a dopamine rush.  This is who we are as a species. It is just that with HSIP we invented a way of getting that with absolutely no benefit to us individually or to the species.  Even junk food gives us nourishment. 

71
Porn Addiction / Re: Looking for Hardmode Advice
« on: November 20, 2018, 12:11:07 PM »
First of all, it is NOT impossible.  I and many others have done it, so just know you are not the first man on the moon, so to speak.

It helps to understand what you are doing and why you are doing it.  Not for sure that understanding it makes it easier or less unpleasant, but it does make completing the task more likely.

I think the advice and insight Edit_undo is excellent.  By the time you have become addicted to porn, you are living a porn lifestyle.  This means you are setting time aside, every day, to feed that habit.  When you decide to kick that habit it is not only that habit you are changing, but, rather, you are changing a lifestyle, you are changing your life. 


I don't know your preferred method of delivery, but if it is computer, you will want to limit its ability to access the problem.  Porn blockers will never stop a determined addict from reaching porn, but, they are helpful in slowing you down, which give you an extra three seconds to remember what you are doing.  What are you doing?  This is VERY important and must be totally embraced during the reboot.  During the reboot, whatever else you thought your were and are, whatever acronyms you might have used to describe yourself must be abandoned.  During the reboot, every second, every moment, about a thousand times a day in the beginning, you must define yourself as "a man quitting porn."  That has to become your mantra, your purpose, your raison d'ete.  It's French, look it up.  Quitting porn, for an addict, will never happen if it is a side hobby, something you are doing in your free time.  It has to become who you are, during the reboot.  You may be a student, you may be a designer, a father, a school bus driver, but, whatever else you are, during the reboot, you have to be a man quitting porn.  Whenever you want to use, and you will constantly want to use, you have to be a man quitting porn.  Quitting--say it outloud.  You are not cutting back, you are not using a bit less, you are not getting your habit under control, because those things do not exist for an addict.  For an addict, the only cure is quitting.  QUITTING. 

As Edit_undo also points out, staying busy is helpful.  Porn abuse is a solitary activity.  Most addicts are not especially social, by the time the addiction has them.  By the time the addiction has us, we don't really like humanity much.  You are going to have to accept a lot of painful things during the reboot, such as withdrawals, but one of the most painful parts of a successful reboot is learning to be around people again. You need to go places where living human beings congregate, and just be around them.  Go the mall.  Find a basketball game or a football game, go to it, sit through it.  Endure it.  Plan now on a distraction technique for the future moments your brain is begging you to use.  A distraction technique is a preplanned response to when you have that "I just have to use" feeling, and you will have a lot of those during the reboot.  It is something you make up now, in order to avoid using then.  It can be a lot of things, but some addicts where a big fat rubber band on their wrist.  When they get that "I have to use" feeling the snap it, hard creating a distraction.  In the beginning you may have to use that distraction technique a few hundred times a day.  Remember, it is not porn, per se, that is the problem.  It is using porn to generate sexual thoughts, which in turn are rewarded with a dopamine hit.  It is the dopamine hit you are avoiding, meaning you are staying away from sexual thoughts AMAP.  Get out, get back into life.

72
Porn Addiction / Re: Masturbating
« on: November 07, 2018, 02:39:15 PM »
There are many misconceptions in the porn addiction recovery community about what the problem is, and one of the biggest misconception is that the problem is about anything other than using artificial sexual stimulation to achieve a brain reaction.  This problem is 100% a brain problem.  So, understand, while it looks like MO is a physical act, it is actually a physical act that results in the brain reaction, the brain reaction being a dopamine high.  It is impossible to MO, or to become aroused, without getting that dopamine high; in fact, the arousal you feel when MOing IS the dopamine rush, it is the dopamine rush we become addicted to, porn is just the needle we inject ourselves with.


After you have rebooted, take time then to ask who and what you want to be.  But, during the reboot, avoid the dopamine rush completely, and that means not only no P, but no MO as well.   

74
Porn Addiction / Re: One year. It feels good.
« on: October 17, 2018, 05:42:03 AM »
Hello all.  Today, the 16th, marks the one year anniversary of my last PMO.  Tomorrow, the 17th, marks the anniversary of my first day clean of a streak one year and counting.  I didn't share my PMO struggles with many people, so while I want to share this joy and celebrate, there are few I can share it with.  So, I wanted to bring all of you in on it.

First, thank you to everyone out there who works to help people end porn addiction.  It is truly great work.  Thanks to Gary, Gabe, guys like Matt Fradd, and everyone else.  I look forward to a day when we aren't a weird, subversive few, but a loud and common brother hood (and sister hood) of people finally saying "no" to something that ruins lives.

To everyone still struggling, stick with it.  I first watched Gary's video and tried rebooting some time in 2010 I think.  I didn't really get a plan that would work until late 2016, and it took until late 2017 for it all to work like I wanted it to.  The rewards are real, but if you sit waiting for the rewards to happen, you'll make yourself crazy.  In fact, you'll see yourself transform before your own eyes so much that you'll barely recognize yourself, but it takes time.  Gandalf the Grey becomes Gandalf the White.  Porn gets into every part of your life whether you realize it or not, and finding all of those roots is crucial for kicking it.  It is a long process, but with patience and determination, it can be done.  Don't let any voice, either outside your head or inside, say it is impossible or not worth it.  It is possible, and it is DEFINITELY worth it.


"Like"

75
Porn Addiction / Re: Hello Gentlemen. Now we begin.
« on: October 14, 2018, 12:30:56 PM »
Just found this on NoFap. Posted by the ironically named VirginSexGod.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j0s3WFENlZ4&start_radio=1&list=RDj0s3WFENlZ4&t=0

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