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Topics - Brazyk

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Ages 30-39 / A new hope
« on: January 04, 2017, 07:51:07 AM »
Day 0

Hi, fellow rebooters,

I'm 30, started masturbating around 9 and I first noticed I had a problem around 14. This caused me a lot of problems in my teens. From 18 to 26 I was passionate about my studies and I had two very supportive girlfriends, so in spite of my addiction which was burning a lot of my energy, I managed to live a pretty decent life.

Life has been less exciting in recent years (changing this is my main goal for 2017, rebooting is just a means to an end) and I replaced many sources of enjoyment with PMO.

I made a first attempt at rebooting two years ago and relapsed on day 78. Actually, that attempt was easy since I was very ill when I started and had absolutely no energy nor libido for the first 20 days or so. I got out of flatline around day 65, and relapsed two weeks later. Even though I failed at reaching my goal, this first attempt had a lasting effect: while I was previously PMOing 10 times a week, I almost entirely cut porn use, and reduced MO to about 4 times a week.

Still, I cannot control my behavior and I feel that my MO is detrimental to my life: I suffer from the brain fog and general fatigue associated with excess MO. This is why I decided to completely stop MOing until I reboot. My goal is 100 days.

My MO trigger is mainly anxiety, which has two origins at the moment: failing relationship on the one hand, and under performance at work on the other hand, the latter being partially caused by my excess MO in a vicious circle.

This is part of a process so I will also share about some problems in my life related to MO:
* curing or going out of my relationship and doing the necessary healing
* restoring normal work performance
* finding passion again in my life

I plan to share useful readings or insights on the forum. The first three topics I will discuss, from the experience gained on my first attempt, are: porn blockers, tools to build good habits, and the importance of morning/evening routines.

Good luck to all, I appreciate your support.

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