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Topics - Berens

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Ages 20-29 / I want to be inspiration for you
« on: June 10, 2018, 04:48:57 PM »
Hi, i am Berens, i am 24 years old. I will write things that i hope will be helpful for you. If i make it about you guys and not only about myself maybe i will find more meaning in doing this. Anyway, day 0. Tomorrow i will present some ideas on how can i avoid relapsing. Thank you if you are reading this :)

Porn Addiction / Schizoid personal disorder
« on: May 17, 2015, 03:40:56 AM »
I was reading yesterday about schizoid personal disorder and i identify with it 100%. It explains that people with that disorder have tendention to be abstaining from any sexual act or be autosexual what means masturbation or watching other people having intimacy instead of having it themself that can be just watching porn or having very promiscue sex life only focusing on physical aspects of sex. People with this disorder avoid intimacy and prefer to create own fantasy world in which they have perfect relationships and great sex instead of pursue it in real life.

Personally i feel sometimes that i would prefer to die than expose my intimacy to someone, and fantasies, not only sexual ones, are appearing in mind whatever i want to or not. My mind creates them automatically when i am alone but at the same time i do not feel like needing a company of other people.

I just discovered a cause of my fantasy, masturbation and porn problem. I think that it can be helpful for the ones that identify with what i am talking about. The only solution that i can think about at the moment is to push yourself to interact with people everytime when you you have fantasies or urges to masturbate/porn.

People are made to be social and our minds do not relate being alone with depression. There is no week that i wouldnt have suicidal thoughts. I am sure that abstaining from porn can help but only abstaining from porn wont solve the problem.

Porn Addiction / Anxiety attacks
« on: December 06, 2014, 12:45:08 PM »
Since last relapse, 12 days ago i have everyday anxiety attacks. Something that i havent experienced while rebooting earlier. My muscles shakes, my heart beats fast and i want to hide myself from the world. Every thought hurts and i feel pressure. Its getting hard to resist and a need a relief. I meditate and ride a bike but i dont know if its enough. I begin to rationalize the relapse to feel relief but i know that it is not a way. What can i do to feel a relief? Is this something that i must do not control and it will just go away with time?

Ages 20-29 / Freedom and hapiness or sick
« on: June 10, 2014, 04:59:35 PM »
Hi. I hope you will understand me, i have never talked about it with anyone. I'am 20 years old. I began to MO at 14 and watching P at 15. I was always shy as a kid but now I feel like i would like to grow up and live the life the way i would like to. I dont want to be controlled by my addiction. I decided to stop PMO more than 1 year ago, i noticed that when i PMO i have less energy and feel like isolate from people. The problem is i am relapsing again, again and again and after relapse i tell my self that i will never do it again. I use web filter. My biggest problem are sexual fantasies and impulses i have sometimes. I can just stop doing what i am doing and MO. When read that cold showers help i masturbated under cold shower. I dont have any other addiction and feel like its destroying me. I tried so many times to reboot but i cant do it alone, need your help. I relapse every 3 or 4 days. I see on the street beautiful girls and i would talk to them and meet them, i read that Alan's Roger Currie ebook "Mode one", but i get paralised by fear. I dont have any friendship with girls. My problem is not that i am alone, my problem is that i cant control my life and my urges to PMO.

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