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Topics - Stevew

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Porn Addiction / 5 years later i still haven't managed to quit
« on: August 06, 2020, 08:03:11 PM »
Painful seeing old posts on this forum. Still haven't beaten this. I read the EasyPeasy guide, felt great, relapsed and havent gotten back to that undeaftable mentality. Saw a physcosexual councelor a few years ago, didn't really help me to be fair, spent the first 4-5 sessions convincing her that porn addiction was a thing and could cause ED. Don't know where to go. I don't want to kill myself but i do feel trapped in a sort of pergutory, getting older (almost 24) and still haven't been able to have a relationship because of the ED side effect.

Porn Addiction / porn/sexual addiction - checking out women
« on: July 23, 2020, 08:19:17 PM »
something i've come to realise is that when i do quit porn... i don't stop myself from getting those sexual induced dopamine shots. I find myself constantly glancing at girls in public... especially in the summer of course, in a creepy way. That has often resulted to me later masturbating then doing it to porn/digital material. I feel like i haven't just got a porn addiction its almost a hypersexual addiction. This isn't just about not looking at porn, its not oversexualising my behaviour. God this sucks, 5 years ive been at it. im guessing to most they dont have this issue. But in hindsight its something ive struggled with, i dont want to be a creep.

I went 76 days with no porn or masturbation. The next 2 days after that i relapsed to soft core porn/images 4 times. However, I have since managed to keep off porn for 5 days since. Even though i relapsed i still feel like i've kept that habit of avoiding pmo. I've tried quiting for 4 years and I've never managed to NOT binge for atleast two weeks after relapsing until I'm basically bored of porn again. This time i didn't even watch full out pornos with some of the more extreme tastes i've developed.

I mean 4 pmo's is bad. I hope it hasn't removed ALL of the progress i made in terms of fixing porn induced ED which is my main focus. Tell you what I am still getting a somewhat decent morning erection after a good nights sleep. I don't get random boners or anything, although I'm 22 now so i'm unsure if you still get them at this age?

One thing i would like to add. I haven't actually ever had sex with a girl. So i don't really know how bad my PIED is in terms of that. I've only kissed, touched an ass in the club (with consent lol). But i know when i found out i had a problem which was 4 years ago that i couldn't get it up to porn one day and panicked.

Ages 20-29 / At Uni - Made 65 days and relapsed - Attempt 2
« on: November 07, 2017, 06:25:12 PM »
I made 65 days and got morning erections back and had the odd semi when dancing with girls. But for a few reasons i relapsed and have ended up bingeing for 3 weeks now. I've decided now is enough and i need to get back on the no pmo train. So i need to officially tell myself this fact and by making this post I hope to solidify that. At uni it has been a bit lonely... I've had a difficult time making friends... but hey i will give it time. I am by nature someone that enjoys their own space while enjoying social activities but often in short bursts. I've been trying to quit for a good 3 years now. I've reached 90 days of which my mood improved (and anxiety) but most notably my ED. I do have quite bad porn induced ED... i mean right now i have practically no morning wood as a result of relapsing... nor does my dick even twinge or get excited around girls.

No FAP 90 day challenge
Day 1: 8/11/17

Porn Addiction / Lack of motivation for life/studying and work etc
« on: September 14, 2017, 01:49:46 AM »
Does anyone else just have no motivation for anything? Like I'm 20 and applying to university and seriously... like i just cant imagine a job that i will enjoy OR at least a job that i'd enjoy that i can realistically get. The idea of working just bores the crap out of me and doing stuff like watching films etc.. just keeps me 'stable' as in I don't feel too much boredm but I'm not having fun. I really hope it's this addiction that is causing me these issues... because god knows how i will fare in the future if I'm a lazy slob.(edited)
I'm off to university to do a game design foundation course and then perhaps onto a 3 year degree after. But that industry is competitive as hell and realistically i don't have a good chance of landing job yet alone a sustaining career. My alternative is to do a business degree but god damn it is mind numbingly boring. Also the kind of people in business (those pushy salesmen)... i can't stand those people.

Porn Addiction / Christian dating app?
« on: August 24, 2017, 02:43:32 PM »
My phycosexual counselor? I think that is the name... she wanted me to get tinder to start dating girl etc.. she still doesn't quite get that porn addiction does effect ur erections. As do a lot of doctors. Anyways I told her regular dating apps have half naked girls etc and are filled of girls just wanting to f***. She suggested me sining up to a christian dating app...
1 - I'm not Christian I'd be a dick to date a girl who is thinking i could be a potential partner etc.
2 - To be fair it isn't a bad idea in terms of rewiring... we won't be fucking and hey if she wanted to i'd have a good excuse aka... ''im waiting until marriage'' or ''Give it a few months blah blah jesus watching''.
I don't think it is right... but she was kind of serious about it. Anyways it's an idea for anyone else who is struggling... i have been for 3 years so.

Ok so I think I'm probably one of the worse cases of PIED. For the last 3 years (excluding times when i went more than 3 weeks) i had no morning wood and of course no random erections... I also ended up getting weak erections to porn.. I have to touch my penis to keep it erect. Excessive MO to porn has screwed up my pelvic floor too so that may be a factor. Anyways one year ago.. i reached i believe 2-3 months and i got solid morning wood... random erections (not too fun tbh especially when you are in public)... and pretty much 100% erections to touch alone. I have relapsed since and I'm working on reaching 3 months and then to continue that indefinitely (was totally in the clear until i unknowingly slowly relapsed by going on dating sites)...

In terms of bad cases I'm bad (watching extreme porn since 14-15 and I'm now 20). But it only took me 3 months to recover my erections... i've heard with my sort of case on paper it should take me longer. 3 Months is more for the guys that aren't virgins/haven't done it since their teens. Anyways... its been a year... does this perhaps mean i won't take too much longer than perhaps 3-4 months this time around? It would be crazy if it all of sudden took me 9 months. I seem to get semi MW (weak and not always) and I'm 4 days in.

My porn habits haven't escalated in the last 3 years they have if anything improved (relapsed on less extreme stuff). Nothing illegal though.

Porn Addiction / Depo Porvera - reduces sex drive/sexual urges...
« on: July 27, 2017, 05:56:50 PM »
I was reading off this website...
''In some cases, medications such as Depo-Provera may be prescribed to help reduce a person’s sex drive. Psychiatrists may also prescribe antidepressants or antianxiety medications for underlying conditions that influence the addiction.''
I read up on Depo-Provera...
Depo-Provera is a female hormone which, when given to a man, inhibits the production of testosterone, thus reducing sexual drive. When taking depo-Provera, men are still able to engage in sexual relations, but they do not think about sex as often and their sexual thoughts are not as strong as before.

I don't like the sound if having less testosterone. I mean I'm pretty sure that can effect your muscle growth and general looks. I am quite desperate (3 years in trying)... perhaps i will just try an anti depressant to dull the urges instead. Has anyone else heard about that though? what do you lot think? I'm really at my final straw... as long as it doesn't kill me...

Porn Addiction / Sexual frustration during reboot
« on: June 18, 2017, 10:01:50 AM »
I feel like my main reasons for relapsing are always sexual frustration. I get annoyed that loads of other men are banging girls and im not. and that i've had to pass up on opportunities. Of course the logically way to thin about it is to reboot so you can. But man it is killing me the urge to just masturbate... not necessarily porn but just to MO.

Does anyone else have this...
Lets say I'm bingeing after relapsing only once to soft core or hardcore porn... I often end up going full out and spending weeks watching all the different porn i enjoyed. For example today there is a certain video of a certain celebrity i want to wank to so i can ''start tomorrow'' fresh... I have this feeling that if i don't I'm going to spend the rest of my porn free life wishing i watched it. If I do that the next day there will be something else... and before i know it I've been relapsing each day 1-2 times for weeks straight...

It is a terrible mentality to have and i hate it. I need to think that no matter what porn i watch and wank to it will only be a temporary relief and infact by next day i won't feel any kind of boost or sexual satisfaction from wanking to it... i mean how much porn have i watched... probably hundreds and thousands of videos/images... do i have a feeling of completion or sexual satisfaction from doing all of that? I don't think I do!

Ages 20-29 / 3 years trying - Journal starting 18th
« on: May 18, 2017, 11:07:43 AM »
I've been trying to quit this addiction for 3 years. I hate myself for failing, especially early on as it was so much easier! I'm not going to say ''It's time to beat this shit'' because I've told myself that way too many times. I've been on wellbutrin which did help me feel content for a bit but really its not making me feel satisfied with life... its stopping me from going crazy and taking my life or something. I may up my dose to 450mg as some have reported that improved their depression. I think what may be causing me to relapse is just not having the motivation to do anything due to not enjoying anything. I know this is a bitch move and you should try to deal with shit without tablet but honestly I'd risk dying to beat this addiction at this stage... tablets aren't likely to do that so it's worth it to me. I've already spoken to over 3 different therapists, and while they did help me improve my perspective on life and people it hasn't been enough i suppose.

I'm going to university in just over 3 months... i really need to stop this shit now. I'm on a gap year. I'm not going to list my full life story i don't want to bore people but yeah I better beat this shit now. Uni can be a very lonely place early on... i know this when i went there one year ago. I left because i realised how much i wasn't interested in my subject. I've now pursued something i am interested in! What is fucking with me is i also plan on getting gyno surgery because my chest looks crap.

I'm not going to update this every day because honestly nothing changes for me over the space for a few days with rebooting.

This quote is talking about when a PMO-er decided to relapse after a streak after all of the thoughts in his head convincing him to give up...
''At this stage the PMOer usually gives in. He fires up his browser and the schizophrenia increases. On the one hand there is the tremendous relief of ending the craving, when the little monster finally gets his fix; on the other hand, the orgasm is awful and the PMOer cannot understand why he is doing it. This is why the PMOer thinks he lacks willpower.''

Is it just me or is the first orgasm/relapse actually feel quite good? I have a strong orgasm and feel quite good afterwards. For me its the orgasms after the first 1 that start being shit and make me think urgh why do i even do this? Does this mean anything? And when i start bingeing i can go on for weeks without enjoying it but almost feeling like I'm being forced to... but yeah the initial orgasm for me personally feels good and makes me feel happier.

I think i may try increasing my wellbutrin dose from 300mg to 450mg. It has improved my mood a bit but im just too bummed out to do anything even though i want to. I know tablets aren't good etc but I'm really running out of ideas. I've been to two therapists (spoke to a phycastrist for a while which sort of worked as therapy). I'm going to university in about 120 days and i don't want to be depressed and wanking because i will bet $$$ for the first month or so i will be lonely.

Just to add I've tried quitting for 3 years. I'm at a point where even if the increase in tablets had say a small % of killing me it would probably be worth the risk.

I'm just wondering. I've never tried or come close to having some sort of sex encounter... but i do know that i get weak erections when MO to thought and weak erections even to porn.

Porn Addiction / MO or not?
« on: May 08, 2017, 11:16:25 AM »
I've been trying to quit with 3 years. I reach 20-40 days and i relapse because eventually i need that sexual release. How can i beat this? What if one was to masturbate say once every 1-2 weeks?

Porn Addiction / Is the TV series 'skins' safe to watch?
« on: May 07, 2017, 05:15:53 PM »
I really enjoyed misfits and all these other young adult/teenager tv series. Skins is something I've never watched because when i found out about it i was trying to reboot (been at this for 3 years). The first season seems to have quite a lot of sex scenes. It's fine with occasional ones... i can resist but when there is 3-4 each episode (aka first few seasons of GOT)... it gets too much. For instance game of thrones post season 4 for me is ok... but 1-3 was riddled with sex scenes.

So disregarding season 1... or vol1 as it's called... which are safe? for those who have watched all the seasons.

Question to those who have succeeded. How long did it take for your morning erections to come back (100% hardness)... and most importantly... how long until you knew you could get an erection to touch alone/could have sex?

I reached 3-4 months one year ago. I'd say solid morning erections came back at around 2 months. 3 months in when i was seeing a pretty much 100% solid erection either randomly or to touch alone. God it was quite a bit of hassle dealing with those random ones...

So I'm having surgery... men don't get wet dreams unless they abstain from porn addiction as far as i know. I'm worried that i could (it would be very unlucky if i did) have a wet dream during one. Please tell me i can't. The surgery will be 1-1.5 hours long. I know this seems like a silly topic... but i was thinking should i masturbate before the surgery? this isn't some kind of troll post either... i've slept at school for 20 or so minutes and luckily nothing happened other than a slight semi when i woke up.

Porn Addiction / Does everyone experience ALL of the pied smyptoms?
« on: April 07, 2017, 10:41:51 PM »
I personally do. Memory + concentration problems. Relapsing after a 3 month pmo free attempt... during my exams.. wow the next day i went back to not being able to read a page without losing focus. I of course get ED as well. Anxiety and depression. I'm just wondering does this sort of thing due to effecting then dopamine often give practically ALL of the symptoms to the abuser of porn? Or is it almost like a tablet in the sense you may get some but others may have no issue with anxiety or memory.

-Click the Customize / Control Google Chrome button > Settings.
-Scroll down and click on "Show Advanced settings".
-In the Privacy section, click on Content settings.
-In the Image section, select "Do not show images".
-You can click manage extensions and enter in sites for you to allow OR (much easier option) is right click the red crossed grey box in the right hand corner next to the grey star (Favorites icon) which will appear on website of which have images disabled. Then refresh the page. It will be time consuming at first if like me you visit many websites each day... but once you've done it for those core sites having to occasionally enabled images on random sites you visit won't be time consuming... plus... when do you REALLY need to see images on websites. Anyways it's simply right clicking and ticking ''show images'' then click done and press F5.

Now you need to be in the right head space for this to work. If you are still tempted out of no where to deliberately watch soft core YouTube stuff by searching for sexual stuff (without even needing a trigger of any sort) ... you need to really think about how much porn is affecting you etc. Just think... every time your brain says... you know you feel shit.. you want a release... look at this sexy woman and wank to it just once THEN start your reboot... think... well that woman could be right in front of me in real life ready to have sex with me... but every day I continue to watch porn I am making the wait that much longer. Anyways bottom line... for me right now (16 days in) It helps so much not having constant sexual images come up luring me in... it allows me to forget about porn for most of the day.

The grass is sometimes greener on the other side. You just have to get there to find out. Aka stop wanking for 3-5 months and then see if you don't feel better :).
I hope this helped one person... maybe it didn't but it's worth a shot.

Porn Addiction / Frequent WD bad?
« on: March 31, 2017, 11:16:38 AM »
I'm on day 11. Last night I had a wet dream and also 2 nights ago I had one. Is that a bad sign? I haven't been peeking at porn or anything sexual. Maybe i was thinking about sex with a real woman before bed a little bit... other then that i'm clean. I've heard that wet dreams are a good sign... but i also read somewhere that if you are thinking about porn/peeking a bit it can make them more common and thus bad? A success profile i read of a guy that reached 90 days said he only had 6 wet dreams.

N/N/N/N/N/N/N/N/WD/N/WD   (just a visual representation of the last 11 days)

n= nothing (except 50% mw most days)
WD= wet dream

Porn Addiction / Porn addiction recovery can lead to sex addiction?
« on: March 26, 2017, 05:37:22 PM »
A therapist i saw a while ago after we talked for carious sessions said he is worried that if i overcame porn addiction i could easily become addicted to sex. Lets say i manage to overcome porn addiction and I'm able to have sex properly... how can i ensure this doesn't happen? Avoid too many one night stands/sex with too many women? Stick to one partner? don't have sex more than once a day?

I'm taking wellbutrin and have done for over a year now. I've tried quitting for 2 and a half years i think now. At the time of taking it... i remember it making me feel more content with life. But i can't help but think... what if it is making this whole thing harder?

I found this post interesting:

''You'll want to stay away from bupropion, no weight gain or sexual dysfunction. That's because it works totally different then most antidepressants, it's not a SSRI. It's a stimulant. It encourages sex.''

Bupropion will likely help with the low dopamine during withdrawal... but make cravings higher. I'm no expert in this or a doctor so i really don't know. All i know is I've been at this for over 2 years and my periods of abstinence have decreased. Maybe it was me taking bupropion since leaving school or just being on a gap year (not doing much being alone) that caused me to suck more at this rebooting).

Porn Addiction / what keeps me in the binge cycle..
« on: February 22, 2017, 09:06:00 PM »
When i relapse I always binge for a week or so. I get this feeling/urge to masturbate to a certain thing. It is often a certain celebrity. It keeps me in the binge cycle and i hate it.  When i first relapse I'm always generally quite reluctant/close to stopping mid way. But after say one more pmo session that i get the ''you HAVE to PMO to this'' then you can start your reboot again. Then the next day something comes up again.

Does anyone else have this? I hate it... My mind literally thinks I HAVE to wank to this or i will regret it down the line and will never be able to wank to it again unless it involves me relapsing in the future.
I've been trying to quit for 2 and a half years (I'm 20 atm)... its been getting harder to quit :/

Ages 20-29 / 6 months until uni
« on: February 22, 2017, 09:01:15 PM »
Day 1 - 23/02/2017
Been trying to quit for 2 and a half years. I'm 20. I need to quit now so i can go to uni porn free. I'm going to keep a dairy to see how things go. I keep reaching 12-16 days then relapsing.

Porn Addiction / Morning erections cause triggers
« on: February 08, 2017, 04:58:57 PM »
I've just completed one week PMO free. The only time during the day where I feel 'horny' is when i wake up to a somewhat hard morning erection... it is at this point i'm half asleep almost and i will fantasize about real women and rub my dick a bit but not edge. Sorry for the details I didn't know how to write it out in a PG way.

Has anyone else found this? In the morning I can masturbate to thought alone which is somewhat good in terms of recovering from Ed i guess but i know it is vital for me to abstain for MO.

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