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Messages - SimplyJ

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Porn Addiction / Re: FAQ's (Frequently Asked Questions)
« on: April 02, 2016, 02:06:27 PM »
Hi All,

In short, my story is that up until 10 days ago (11 tomorrow) I didn't even know what any of this stuff was. I chanced on an article that pretty much lead me to learn about PIED.  Before then, I masturbated to porn a lot since age 12 (29 now), lost my virginity at age 25, and had slept with a handful of women since then. I am sure all the symptoms where there, I just failed to recognize them. Once I learned about them, I immediately started the rebooting process. As I said, tomorrow will be day 11 for me. The first two days I was incredibly horny and, up until today I am pretty sure I flatlined (the usual symptoms described, depression, anxiety, no erections, lack of motivation etc) For whatever reason, this evening I felt considerably better and though I didn't achieve erection, I started feeling somewhat more attracted towards women. I was able to notice them more and appreciate that they were pretty in contrast to being completely indifferent up until yesterday.

I felt this progress was good, and I haven't watched porn or masturbated since the beginning. My question is this: I am reading some posts on here saying that the Rebooting process/No Fap actually exacerbates the problem because you are forcibly shutting down your sex drive. I have read literature on how porn desensitizes your brain and how it needs time to resensitize and dopamine levels to return to normal. I am just somewhat worried right now that I am taking the wrong course of action. Should it be moderation or should it be complete abstinence? The reason I ask is because I am still fairly early into my reboot and I guess if what I am doing is wrong, I can still correct myself, as both arguments make logical sense. My biggest fear is permanently losing my sex drive all together and not recovering the way I am supposed to.

I think I am concerned because prior to me doing this, even while watching porn and masturbating constantly, I still maintained a social life, talked to women, and don't recall ever experiencing erectile dysfunction of any sort. I felt I had a very strong libido (maybe too strong if there is such a thing). I know in my younger years I was nervous and afraid to approach women, but as I got into my mid 20s, I started to change that myself despite watching porn. I have also had sex with a number of women despite my porn usage and I do agree that vaginal intercourse didn't feel as pleasurable as I thought it would (although oral did). I almost feel that it is the anxiety of knowing all this that is causing me to not get an erection anymore which is probably my biggest concern.

Not sure if yours or anyone else's experience mirrors mine in anyway, but those are my primary concerns.

Your answers are all appreciated guys.  I know this isn't meant to be easy, but at the same time, so many people have so many different experiences that it makes me unsure about what course of action to take.

Thanks very much for reading.

2
Porn Addiction / My First Post: Somewhat Unsure of Course of Action
« on: April 02, 2016, 12:56:40 AM »
Hi All,

In short, my story is that up until 10 days ago (11 tomorrow) I didn't even know what any of this stuff was. I chanced on an article that pretty much lead me to learn about PIED.  Before then, I masturbated to porn a lot since age 12 (29 now), lost my virginity at age 25, and had slept with a handful of women since then. I am sure all the symptoms where there, I just failed to recognize them. Once I learned about them, I immediately started the rebooting process. As I said, tomorrow will be day 11 for me. The first two days I was incredibly horny and, up until today I am pretty sure I flatlined (the usual symptoms described, depression, anxiety, no erections, lack of motivation etc) For whatever reason, this evening I felt considerably better and though I didn't achieve erection, I started feeling somewhat more attracted towards women. I was able to notice them more and appreciate that they were pretty in contrast to being completely indifferent up until yesterday.

I felt this progress was good, and I haven't watched porn or masturbated since the beginning. My question is this: I am reading some posts on here saying that the Rebooting process/No Fap actually exacerbates the problem because you are forcibly shutting down your sex drive. I have read literature on how porn desensitizes your brain and how it needs time to resensitize and dopamine levels to return to normal. I am just somewhat worried right now that I am taking the wrong course of action. Should it be moderation or should it be complete abstinence? The reason I ask is because I am still fairly early into my reboot and I guess if what I am doing is wrong, I can still correct myself, as both arguments make logical sense. My biggest fear is permanently losing my sex drive all together and not recovering the way I am supposed to.

Additionally, I have watched the video on how to know if ED is because of porn or not. I still am not sure because before I even thought of any of this,  I used to masturbate to porn frequently as I mentioned, however I still maintained social relationships etc and went out with girls. Additionally, I was still able to have sex although I will admit in some cases, vaginal penetration wasn't as pleasurable as I expected it to be (though oral sex seemed to work perfectly fine...I apologize if this is too graphic)  My concern again is, that I hope learning about PIED wasn't the actual cause of me losing my sex drive because of the anxiety I experienced learning about it.  I am hoping someone with more knowledge than myself can shed light on this.

Your answers are all appreciated guys.  I know this isn't meant to be easy, but at the same time, so many people have so many different experiences that it makes me unsure about what course of action to take.

Thanks very much for reading.

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