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Messages - King Leer

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1
Ages 30-39 / Re: Done with the shame
« on: March 02, 2021, 12:43:48 AM »
Thanks thk.  Still doing pretty well I had a few small set backs with social media. It's clear that mindless scrolling at night gets me into trouble. I stay up too late lose my guard and stumble across something. It seems like at least at night I am far better off just watching my shows. That will have to be a new rule for me if I am going to succeed in the long term. Still porn Free though and for that I am oh so grateful.  Time seems to be crawling by 15 days free has felt like an eternity. But I am grateful too for the struggle. It lets me know I am still alive and fighting. 

2
Success Stories / Re: recovery is positively impacting our son
« on: February 24, 2021, 09:22:11 PM »
It's funny at first I was thinking that that was weird to tell your kids about it but then I remembered the world we live in and the challenges kids are facing. Good for you two for talking to your kids and teaching them from your experiences!

3
Success Stories / Re: End of no nut January
« on: February 24, 2021, 09:11:12 PM »
That's awesome keep it up man

4
Ages 30-39 / Re: Done with the shame
« on: February 24, 2021, 09:08:58 PM »
So tired pretty stressed too. But today I was listening to the universal man podcast and he mentioned something about talking to yourself being realistic with yourself. "Yes porn would be exciting write now but later I will regret it." Type stuff. So I was thinking yeah porn would be great right now but then thought of course I would regret it tomorrow and the day after that and the day after that.  I am 10 days clean and still regretting the last time I relapsed. That kinda helped shock me out of my short term thinking.

5
Ages 30-39 / Re: Done with the shame
« on: February 23, 2021, 05:15:38 PM »
Do I have decided to do a personalized form of hard reboot. No p no m no o. No sex unless it was unquestionably initiated by my wife. I don't want to discuss my quitting with my wife cause she is really bad at weird conversations.  This way if sex does happen it's not because I was just trying to satisfy my own urge.

6
Porn Addiction / Re: Talking to my parents about PMO
« on: February 23, 2021, 12:49:36 AM »
I am very sorry to hear that. Your parents should be a source of help and guidance in life. You should not have to worry about them laughing at your problems.  I did not have parents I could talk to easily either; albeit, for different reasons. Do you have a mature older friend you could confide in?

7
Porn Addiction / I apologize women
« on: February 23, 2021, 12:44:43 AM »
So I am just gonna own up to this. With all my P viewing and fantasizing I did become the kind of guy that would give beautiful girls a creepy stare do a lot of rubber necking as I undressed them with my eyes. I like to think that most of the time I was subtle about it but even so WTF?  I am sure I probably freaked out a few girls in my time. Uhhhhhhhh can't be that dude anymore. Anyone struggle with this does it get better?

8
Ages 30-39 / Re: PIED and Married
« on: February 23, 2021, 12:31:07 AM »
Day 27...no M-O
. Her libido is zero, i don't even think she wants a O. She also told me she doesn't even really like making out anymore because her sense of smell or something has heightened? I'm not brushing my teeth every hour. We made out all the time prior to marriage. Like ALL the time, especially since we were celibate or at least tried to be. So with her not naturally not being touchy feely, then it's so much work getting her in the mood, now no making out...man she's just a friend seems like which makes me want to say screw it and watch P!! Smh this is the worst.


I can TOTALLY relate to this.  As if before they married you your breathe didn't smell as bad.  Sex seems like its only ever good if they are in the mood. Or once a year on honeymoon. I don't struggle with pied but I relate to the zero libido wife not to mention she can be withholding when it comes to pleasure and doesn't really try which I find baffling as I want nothing more than to do my best to make her O. Sometimes we are both in the mood but if she is not it's totally just perfunctory stuff, like I might as well just MO.
EDIT
now that morning has come and I listened to the universal man podcast I have rethought my position on this. I know my porn effected brain has a skewed view of sex. And I almost think it's best if I don't even have sex with my wife unless she engages. Kind of like hard reboot with some exceptions.

9
Ages 30-39 / Re: The voice I always hear - "What's one more day?"
« on: February 23, 2021, 12:19:20 AM »
Yeah this is a frustrating problem to have. It feels like you can be totally strong and committed to quitting one moment then one day you just feel different like someone else takes over and he just does not care how hard you have worked to stay clean. That guy is trouble

10
Ages 30-39 / Re: Done with the shame
« on: February 23, 2021, 12:04:11 AM »
Day 8. Today I was a bit stressed and I can tell my guard is down. Gonna stay off social media the rest of the night. Peace out

11
Ages 30-39 / Re: Done with the shame
« on: February 21, 2021, 11:46:24 AM »
Today is seven days clean. The last week has been fairly easy. I don't know why. I was struggling on day two and I am far more against porn than fapping so I fapped that day just to relieve the tension because I could tell I was close to relapsing with porn. It seemed to work; though, I have not fapped since because I don't want to foster wrong thoughts either. I have done my best to reject fantasies and quickly leave social media posts that trigger me. It seems to be working. Though I know the two to three weeks barrier can be tough last time I relapsed after 28 days, but frankly that was a milestone for me. The longest I have ever made it without fapping and while having unrestricted access to the internet(i.e. no p blockers)

12
Ages 30-39 / Re: Non consumated marriage
« on: February 19, 2021, 11:09:23 PM »
I would start by watching some videos on youtube about why we become addicted to porn neurologically speaking. Understanding that has helped me a lot. I am pulling for you.

13
Ages 30-39 / Re: The voice I always hear - "What's one more day?"
« on: February 18, 2021, 04:20:31 PM »
Beginning to wonder if I even truly want to be done with this

Haha yeah I have been there before. For a while I just gave up and decided I was just going to do what I wanted and not worry about it but then my addictions just started getting so bad and I became so disgusted I realized I needed to quit again. That was when I ended up going 28 days no pmo, no fap, still my best record ever. Just trust me when I say you want to quit

14
Ages 30-39 / Re: Done with the shame
« on: February 18, 2021, 04:17:11 PM »
@brandon1984 That's good man back on the horse. Good luck with your baby making also

15
Ages 30-39 / Re: Face It
« on: February 17, 2021, 05:09:19 PM »
Facing it head on that's the challenge, especially because as addicts we try to block out our problems and stress with more porn or other addictive behaviors.  I recently, about a half year ago, started doing different things to improve my self control. Intermittent fasting exercising and the like. On top of that those things seem to help me feel better about myself. I wish you well.

16
Porn Addiction / Re: 16 Principles of Recovery
« on: February 16, 2021, 09:58:29 PM »
Attention reveals intention. I agree with this 💯. Very well put when I relapsed after 28 days that day a lot of my attention was spent thinking about lustful things, then watch p-subs.  Finally my intention was revealed.  Congrats on your 100 days I am happy for you

17
Ages 30-39 / Re: Done with the shame
« on: February 16, 2021, 09:47:09 PM »
Today went well so far. There has been a lot of stress in the past weekend but I did my exercises and put the problems aside until I can actually solve them.  I want to to well and I am feeling positive again, for a while there I was dragging with self doubt. Keeping my head up. Gonna give that pornocrap I one two punch. Thanks for everyone's support especially the heartache kid. Peace

18
Ages 30-39 / Re: The voice I always hear - "What's one more day?"
« on: February 16, 2021, 01:09:39 AM »
I think it's okay to be ashamed. But not so much to carry the shame.  Look back at what you did and be ashamed of that but take pride in every moment you have taken control of. Stay strong keep clean

19
Ages 30-39 / Re: Done with the shame
« on: February 16, 2021, 12:58:18 AM »
Thanks I appreciate it

20
Ages 30-39 / Re: Done with the shame
« on: February 15, 2021, 02:28:24 PM »
Back to day zero.  Hopefully with the new work week will come the stability I need to control myself. I have forgiven myself I am moving on again. No one said it would be easy. I have been trying to quit for years I know it's not easy.  Anyway hope everyone else is doing well

21
Ages 30-39 / Re: Done with the shame
« on: February 11, 2021, 01:35:23 PM »
So I fell off the wagon pretty hard a few days ago. It was that day I came across a nude I've been clean no fap no pmo for close to 4 days I think now and it's harder than it was before. I don't know why I started so strong. In a video I watched on YouTube they said typically it gets harder after 2 to 3 weeks of being free from no pmo.
Anyway back on the wagon. It's tough

22
Ages 30-39 / Re: Done with the shame
« on: February 04, 2021, 04:01:36 PM »
So I think I have made a little bit of progress. I'd stumbled across a nude photo of a woman while admittedly looking at scantily clad photos on social when I realized she was nude I ended up backing out did not allow myself to become aroused. Challenge will be to not think about it.  Also it goes to show it's a bad idea to lurk around these scantily clad girl posts. I want to change completely not just refrain from watching porn, but be at a place that I do not sexualize or fantasize about other women. I know today was a hick-up but I think it went ok otherwise.

23
Ages 30-39 / Re: Done with the shame
« on: February 01, 2021, 05:40:01 PM »
There I go again with the social media garbage. My wife and I had sex yesterday but now I think I'm dealing with the chaser effect. So in order not to be a hypocrite I'm going to pack the car like my wife asked me and then do some workouts

24
Ages 30-39 / Re: A Journal Will Help
« on: February 01, 2021, 04:51:30 PM »
Congrats on those #'s 55 and 125 really inspiring to see. And I hope there are benefits pouring over into your real life.

25
Porn Addiction / Re: Clean 100
« on: January 29, 2021, 03:55:09 PM »
I am rooting for you. porn is just the worst.  Being in control that feels good. And like the other gentlemen suggested as you gain back self control and self respect it might help your marital problems. Probably gonna take a while I know I have a lot to fix about myself after 20 years of porn and 27 years for masturbation. That's bound to screw a guy up. For sure I am not yet where I want to be. But we will get there

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