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Messages - chiefmitch88

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1
Ages 40 and up / Re: 4.5 YEARS PORN-FREE!
« on: May 14, 2019, 10:54:41 AM »
Hey Lyon, thanks for checking in. I credit a good portion of my recovery to meeting you here. You introduced me to Breaking the Cycle. That was the thread I held firm to. I am currently 8 months porn free. I too, use an online support group but I'm not working 12 steps...yet. I think it's gonna be necessary if I want to kick my recovery into overdrive. I'm in a rural place and face to face SA meetings just aren't available.  Phone meetings are difficult for me to get enthused about.

Glad to hear from you!

2
Success Stories / 7 months, No PMO
« on: April 30, 2019, 03:58:15 PM »
Update: I am currently 228 days clean from acting out with porn. Just wanted to pass along my success. It's been over 5 years since I admitted porn was a problem in my life. I'm now over 7 months clean from it.

To all of you fighting, it can be done. The best piece of advice I received came from a member here who informed me that I needed to buy Breaking the Cycle by George Collins.  It helped me to deal with the underlying negative thoughts that led to my acting out.

It's not easy, but it's worth it. I am determined to continue because I am desperate to revive the wonder I used to feel in my life before I fell down the rabbit hole. Desperation is a gift.

3
Ages 30-39 / Re: First relapse
« on: February 24, 2018, 10:01:08 AM »
Hey Mobil,

I know the feeling you describe very well. It sounds like you're in need if a sponsor. I'm in dire need of one as well.
Sometimes the loneliness is unbearable. Having someone who understands is critical to our recovery.
Maybe look into a SAA or 12 step program? Also, for me guided meditation helps to quiet my mind and bring my consciousness to the present moment. There are some great apps out there for meditation and I've also started using an app called Sobertime. It's got an active forum of people facing all sorts of addictions. P addicts are a rare group bit we're growing. Also, one tends to get speedy responses when you're feeling really low.
I hope you've come out of your funk Ok. I'm here rooting for you. 200 days pmo free is a hell of an accomplishment!!! Continue to make choices that benefit your well being!

4
Ages 30-39 / Re: Back On The Wagon: 2
« on: February 24, 2018, 09:48:02 AM »
Big congratulations on 3 weeks! It's amazing how long that can seem to an addict in recovery isn't it? Cheers! Keep going man, day by day. I'm standing shoulder to shoulder with you.

5
Ages 30-39 / Re: Orbiters Journal of Recovery
« on: February 24, 2018, 09:35:03 AM »
Hey Orbiter,

Your efforts to be free of this addiction do matter. There is no quest more noble than bringing light to the internal darkness. Its the only thing we have any real control over in this world. Keep your chin up, I've had dozens of slips. You see the problem, keep journaling and tracking progress. One day at a time.
If you're a reader I recommend The Slight Edge by Jeff Olson or Breaking the Cycle by George Collins. Both great places to start on your journey. The former is about creating healthy daily habits (not addiction focused), the latter is about dealing with all forms of sex based addictions. Reading and guided meditation helps get my mind off of the obsessive overthinking that underwrites my addiction.
Best of luck, I'm rooting for you!

6
Ages 30-39 / Re: Craving Normality
« on: February 23, 2018, 11:17:46 AM »

15.7 days clean. I’m jonesing pretty bad for an escape. I found my heart racing when I saw a link to a racy story on the internet. My mind desperately wanted me to click on it. I’m feeling low, and in a funk. Regardless of this, I’m not going to allow my mind to run the show. I will not use porn today.
I’m going to do my best to manage my time more wisely at work. I screen surf too much and then I wonder why I’m experiencing the strong pull to use. I need to enagage myself regardless of how tedious the work might be. I’m getting paid well and I’m financially supporting my family better than I could’ve hoped for just 18 months ago. I must not take it for grantite even if it isn’t the most glamorous and fulfilling career in the world.

Digging deep for some gratitude today:

I’m thankful for beauty and quiet that a snowy morning brings. Everything seems clean and new. The freshness of the air is invigorating and it makes my coffee even more enjoyable.

I’m grateful for the place I call home. It’s a great small community and I see a lot of smiling faces when I go anywhere. They greet me by name and my son knows them. He’s surrounded by a village, not by strangers.

I was a bit on edge last night so I decided to take 25 minutes to do a guided meditation focused on healing. The person speaking guided me through a scan of my body and to find any area is resistance or discomfort. At first I focused on the sore muscles I had from lifting weights. As I went deeper I felt this indescribable resistance from my mind. As though my mind wasn’t working for me but for the it’s own devices. Not a moment later the speaker told me to use my breath to, “fill that which is empty and empty that which is full.” At that moment it clicked, “My heart is empty, and my mind is full.” My mind is full of past emotional pain, worries, anxiety for an uncertain future, the craving for my DOC, etc, etc, etc. My heart is empty because of my addiction and I keep it buried because I’m afraid of being vulnerable to pain if I allow myself to love. Isolation equates to no pain in my mind. My consciousness realizes that those statements are false. By using I subject myself to the pain of loneliness and I subject my loved ones to a cold, selfish, unsympathetic addict.
After this realization the guide reminded me that expanding our hearts to love unconditionally does not make us weak or vulnerable. It strengthens us. It builds our network of support an shines light during dark times.
At this moment, expanding my heart seems scary as strange as I it sounds. But if I just expand it a little more, day by day, I might get back to a place where I have enough in my heart that I can be of service to others

7
Ages 20-29 / Re: Zander Reboot - Light at the end of the tunnel
« on: February 23, 2018, 10:06:28 AM »
4 months is Awesome!! Sounds like it's paying dividends. Be proud of yourself. I'm rooting for you!

8
Ages 30-39 / Re: Craving Normality
« on: February 22, 2018, 11:49:39 AM »
14.7 days clean at the moment. I caught myself leering at pictures on the internet. I really need to address my screen time. I know it’s really affecting my productivity and it’s keeping my DOC just a click away.
Positive experience: A lot of my addiction is wrapped up with my lack of self confidence. Porn offers approval in a strange and twisted way. Rather than face rejection (in any of its forms) I always had porn to kill the pain or to numb my discomfort. Also, capitalism expends a lot if energy trying to get us to believe we’re not complete without this or that. The economy depends on our perceived inadequacy. I spent a lot of time wishing I was taller, better looking, more muscular, had a bigger dick because Cosmo tells us ‘size does matter.’ I manifested all of those concerns into my reality. I wished I was anyone other than me.
I caught myself doing this last night while playing basketball. I’m not very talented at the game, just love the exercise. I’m 5’7", I never played basketball in highschool,I can barely jump over a shoebox but I can dribble and shoot well enough. So I’m playing with a guy who’s 6’3" and 200 lbs who obviously played organized ball. He can beat me in any way he chooses and there’s nothing I can do to stop it.
As I left the court I found myself wishing I was him. I was thinking about how life would be better if I had his physical traits and ability. I thought that I could get any woman I wanted. I would be respected if I were like that.
Then my consciousness awoke and started to talk truth to my fragile ego. “First of all, there’s no sense in wishing to be anyone you’re not. Secondly, he has his own problems in life. He might trade everything he has for an opportunity at a life like the one you live. You are gifted in ways he never will be. If he’s more attractive to the opposite sex, don’t you think that presents it’s own challenges? Do you measure a man by the number of women he’s been with? Go home and hug yoir beautiful wife and stop whining. Play a game with your son and get your mind off of this pointless line of thinking.”

9
Ages 30-39 / Re: Craving Normality
« on: February 21, 2018, 10:53:47 AM »
I'll be 2 weeks clean in a few hours. I will not use porn today.

I've had a great couple of days with my family. I made some great memories with my son while we went sledding. He's not even 3 but he was so brave! It was a steep drop and he squealed with glee every time he went down. I loved it.

On the way there we had some great issues with my credit card being declined because my bank deemed it suspicious activity and my wife forgot some stuff which made us late. These little things probably would've made me angry. I'd had been irratable and focused on the gloomy side of things. I probably would've been a jerk to my wife and said something rude for being late. Instead I tried to deal with my feelings and I breathed through my anger. Once I got through the trivial problems we all had a blast.

I feel tired and I've noticed that my resolve has been waning a little. I'm chalking that up to a weekend with my college friends. I indulged with food, drinking, and laziness. I supoose my brain is encouraging me to indulge elsewhere too. To combat this feeling I went to the gym last night and ran a couple of miles before lifting weights and doing core exercises.

After dinner, a few chores, and reading I was exhausted. I slept hard.

I'm going to play basketball tonight and I've got a short week of work after the extended holiday weekend.

Also, found out that my dad is still cancer free after he had a biopsy of an area they were concerned about. It's been an intense couple of weeks of worrying for my parents and I'm glad for the good news.

10
Ages 30-39 / Re: Craving Normality
« on: February 18, 2018, 11:21:19 AM »
I'm almost 11 days clean, I have had some cravings today and did my best to snap myself out of some P Fantasy daydreaming. I feel back in control now and I will not use porn today

I'm well Patrick, thanks! I just wrapped up a gathering with some of my college buddies.  I was out of town for the weekend.
We're (college friends and I) all growing up but there are still a lot of behaviors they engage in that I need to be vigilant about. A few of the guys drink a lot. I don't really have a problem with drinking bit if I get out of hand I'm not present and it's harder to ignore the urges. I drank a little m ore than I should have on Friday. I acted out with food a little but I just got done with a weight loss challenge so I'm not going to get too hard on myself.
I passed a test of sorts over the weekend. There's a strip club nearby to the hotel we stayed at. Everyone else went  but I stayed away. I knew that it would have been something that I obsessed over the strip club experience until I could go find a place to PMO.
We've got a couple of family days planned for Monday and Tuesday. I'm looking forward to the

11
Ages 20-29 / Re: Zander Reboot - Light at the end of the tunnel
« on: February 15, 2018, 03:17:39 PM »
I've been saying this a lot lately but give some thought to reading some books dedicated to self help. The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle has been huge for me and I haven't even finished it yet. Also, Breaking the Cycle was important for me when I first got my foot in the rebooting door.

I'm also a big believer in exercise, meditation (I prefer guided meditation at the moment because my mind is noisy most days), yoga, and creative endeavors. Yoga is especially helpful in my recovery. Besides that it can be a good social outlet with no social commitment. Talk with people after class if you feel like it, grab your mat and run if you don't.

Find things that work for you and try to bring mindfulness into everything you do.

Good luck, I'll keep rooting for you. Awesome job so far!

12
Ages 30-39 / Re: Craving Normality
« on: February 15, 2018, 12:13:59 PM »
Patrick, thanks for being consistently in my corner!

I'm 8 days clean in a few hours. I will not use porn today.

Sometimes my mind tells me that my sobriety doesn't matter. My mind tells me that it's not hurting anyone. I have to constantly find my consciousness and remind myself that it does hurt others. By consuming it, I am contributing to the demand for porn. The demand creates a market where young women subject themselves to loveless acts for money. Whatever their reasons for acting in porn, a majority of them are likely suffering from past trauma and mental health issues stemming from those traumas.
Additionally, it cripples me. It will never solve the problems in my life situation by effectively burying my head in the sand. It will only contribute to increasing the rate of decay to the areas where I need to dedicate my mindful attention. I can never be mindful if I escape the present moment by retreating to the false comfort of porn.

Bringing my consciousness into my life is a hard practice. I constantly find myself wanting to escape with other means. Screens, food, overthinking, obsessing over my relationship. I'm struggling to identify why I am angry and irritable at times. However, I must understand that living mindfully is not an easy endeavor. Failure is inevitable. My ego will stop at nothing to survive, it will feel threatened by selflessness. My mind will justify a dopamine binge. I have stumbled, I will fail at times but it must not be because of porn. I recall my last long stretch of clean living where I made it 120+ days that I had a better handle on dealing with problems as they arose. I was able to just BE with my emotions. I'm just learning to walk in mindfulness and, like a child, I will take my knocks, I might get hurt, I might even cry. But I'm a man and I can't go running for my porn blankie anymore.
I torpedoed any progress I had made on that front by falling back into my old method of dealing with emotional pain. I wish I had been stronger but the pain was too much to bear on my own and I did not reach out for help in dealing with it. I should have found someone to talk to.
As I write this I feel scared an anxious. I'm going to take that as a good sign. My mind and my ego will perpetuate and expound suboptimal feelings as they seek the comfort of dopamine. I must recognize that I'm not going to get through life without discomfort, without failure, without loss. I  must practice Being and I must practice doing everything with grace and ease. I must Love myself harder in times of failure. I must or I must resign myself to a life of cold isolation and fleeting glimpses of joy. I'm tired of waiting for this thing or that thing to complete me in order to be happy. I  am complete NOW. But because of my porn use and the depression and anxiety associated with it, I don't live in the completeness of Now.

13
Ages 30-39 / Re: Craving Normality
« on: February 14, 2018, 02:30:11 PM »
7 days clean

I'm here and I will not use porn today. Porn is cold and isolating and true intimacy is warmth and love.

My evening is already planned, pickup basketball followed by dinner with the family. A few chores before some reading and then some guided meditation before bed.

Nothing terribly exciting but I have fun playing ball and socializing. I enjoy the simplicity of dinner with my little family; my son ensures that it's never boring.
Chores aren't necessarily fun, but it is an act of service that I provide for my loved ones. It also keeps me occupied during a time where I must bring structure to my life and be wary of free time.
Reading gets me away from over thinking. The self-help books I now read were the sort I would avoid in my past because my ego told me I didn't need that wussy-whiny stuff to tell me how to live. But here I am, learning to live at the age of 34 without the childish fantasies I relied on to avoid the not-so-wonderful events and emotions that life is known to bring.
Guided meditation is fairly new for me but I must admit that it does help to bring focus and it calls my consciousness to the present moment. My presence in each moment is required. When I'm not present my mind takes over and leads me down a number of paths that all lead to the dopamine bath that it desires.
I'm doing my best to rise above it. To find satisfaction in what IS. To honor my emotions and observe them but not allow them to dictate my reactions and my behavior. This will always lead to suffering.

14
Ages 30-39 / Re: 34 - Virgin - Depressed - PIED? PLEASE HELP ME!
« on: February 14, 2018, 11:01:08 AM »
I'm going to mirror a lot of what the others in your thread have mentioned. It seems very obvious to all the outsiders looking at your journal that you're  quite preoccupied with penis function as well as your status as a virgin.
I'm here to tell you that neither of those things matter to someone who actually cares about YOU.
Also, your ego is the little voice inside of you that tends to identify with the things that have happened in your past or what you're going to be in the future.
Those patterns of thinking are going to perpetuate feelings of depression and anxiety. When you find your brain dwelling on your shortcomings or worries for the future, try to rise above it. Practice breaking away from those thoughts and use your eyes to see what's going on around you, use your ears to hear the music, use your nose to smell the bread baking at the sandwich shop down the street. Life is lived in the NOW and none of the things that you use to define yourself can encompass who YOU really are.
Try reading a good book (highly recommend the Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle). Try exercise to get your mind off of things, it also helps with confidence when you start seeing results. Focus on your breath, try meditation. Do something you've wanted to try but have been scared to start.
Look at your career and try to imagine ways that your can improve your fulfillment or realize your true purpose.

Change is not about rebuilding the old, but creating the new.

Your dick and your virginity do not make you who you are, they're part of your story. But if you allow your mind to keep focusing on those things you're constantly going to manifest those inadequacies. The ego loves to define us by our problems , it gives you an identity of sorts. Our mind feels it can fix those problems by analyzing our way out. In my experience this leads to obsessive overthinking. But focusing on those things prevents you from being present in this moment. Is your Life Situation perfect? No? Well neither is mine. However, that doesn't mean I can't lay those problems down and be satisfied with my Life, even joyful in the miracle that brought human life to this moment.

You are deserving of love just the way you are.

15
Ages 30-39 / Re: PIED. And wanting to reboot. Second time around
« on: February 12, 2018, 03:13:14 PM »
Andy, try not to be too discouraged by your slip ups. It's important to be firm with yourself but do your best not to listen to the inner dialogue that says you're less than or that you're worthless. Those feelings, if we give weight to them, will usually lead to further use of your drug of choice. It's part of the cycle that brought us to the place we are.
Be firm, but be loving of yourself. Try to rise above the shame and guilt and approach yourself in the way a parent might speak to a petulant child.
A kid won't stop doing the behavior that you know to be bad for them if you shame them or threaten them. They'll just continue to do it whenever the parent isn't around. Consider the parent your consciousness. The mind is the child. When the mind takes over (because it wants dopamine like a petulant child wants sugar) we have usually already lost the battle. Look into Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle and it might help explain what I'm trying to say.
Also, there's a good book I often recommend to folks here. It's called Breaking the Cycle by George Collins and it really helps to deal with the internal chatter that addicts tend to deal with. It's useful in many other ways too.

Warmth and Love, get up and keep trying. There isn't a single person in here with a perfect reboot.

16
Ages 40 and up / Re: Patrick's Journal: A gay guy's imperfect reboot
« on: February 12, 2018, 10:47:12 AM »
Patrick! Big congratulations on hitting one month! Keep it going, continue to be loving but firm with yourself, continue to rise above the internal noise during your tough days.
Warmth and Love Brother! P is cold and self-serving.

17
Ages 30-39 / Re: Craving Normality
« on: February 11, 2018, 09:48:13 PM »
4 days clean from PMO

Thanks Patrick! Peace and love, I'll check in on you soon.

It was a good day today. I watched cartoons with  my son in the morning. Then he went swimming with a friend and I went exploring on my snowshoes. The fresh air and the sunshine felt great. Also, the disconnect from society was nice.
Fatherhood is incredibly rewarding but some constructive alone time was definitely welcome. Im grateful for play dates omce in a while.
Going to do some guided meditation and maybe read a few words from Mr. Tolle if I can stay awake long enough.

Choosing porn is NEVER the right choice!

18
Ages 30-39 / Re: Craving Normality
« on: February 10, 2018, 01:41:30 PM »
Almost 3 days clean.

Feeling pretty low, had to fight off some suicidal thoughts as I was trying to fall asleep last night.
My wife had snooped in my emails and found some chats that I had been having with a stranger last spring. I felt awful about it but my saving grace was probably the other, more recent emails between an accountability partner and I. At least she see I'm trying. Definitely something I'm not proud of. But what's done in the dark will be brought to the light.
It amazes me that she still loves me. I suppose she must see my stumbles and my attempts a to get back on my feet and redeem myself.
Been reading The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. A lot of what he writes rwally resonated with me but I get the feeling I'll need to read it again when the brain fog has cleared a bit. He drops a lot of knowledge and sometimes it's hard to understand how it specifically relates to me, my traumas, and my addiction. I would recommend it to anyone here and I'm not even very far into it.
Also downloaded an app for guided meditation. It's my goal to meditate twice  a day, morning and evening to help set my focus or to just find peace when the noise of my mind becomes too much to bear.

I'm not going to use porn today.

19
I'm interested in changing the title of my journal but I don't know how to do it. Can someone walk me through this please? Is it even possible?

20
Ages 30-39 / Re: Craving Normality
« on: February 09, 2018, 10:51:30 AM »
Here I am, almost 2 days clean after a relapse with pmo & chat rooms.
I was feeling pretty shameful yesterday. I've got to be firm with myself. I'm in dire need of some face to face group counseling but I don't have anywhere to go as I live in a rural area and AA programs are the the available group sessions.
I can admit that I am powerless against this thing alone. My willpower is not enough to keep me from using. Regardless of how much knowledge I consume,  I'll still fold like a napkin in the face of the addiction.
I'm trying to instill some daily practices into my life that will help me to deal with the addiction. I've got to get back into waking/going to bed early. I've downloaded an app for guided meditation and I intend to use that to set my focus in the morning and before bed. I've been doing well with exercising regularly. I've found a good weekly routine and I've lost 6lbs and I am noticing the results in the mirror. I am not doing well at reading helpful books, I've got to reduce my TV/Screen time and read more. I'm considering speaking with my congregation and seeing if there might be a possibility of starting an accountability or 12 step group for sex-bases addictions. If that doesn't work I need to get involved with the call in meetings with pornaddictsanonymous.org.
I can't keep kicking the can down the road by justifying "Just one more look" or "I'll straighten up once my wife gets her shit together."
I'm powerless and I pray to God to find the strength and community necessary to get me to a place of living clean life without the brain fog and social anxiety that result from my using.

21
Ages 30-39 / Re: Back On The Wagon: 2
« on: February 08, 2018, 04:21:24 PM »
Hey PE30,

Just wanted to reach out and say that a lot of your story resonated with me. I've been struggling with trying to break free of this addiction.
I admitted the problem almost 4 years ago and I have been on and off the wagon numerous times. I had about 120 days under my belt at one time and have been stuck in a relapse cycle ever since.  I have a son now, he's almost 3. I know I'm not the husband and father I could be when I'm continually shooting myself in the foot by placating myself with this stuff.
My problem has caused a lot of strife in my marriage. My wife and I are constantly struggling with communication. Probably, in large part, due to my irritability and my lack of empathy when I am acting out with self serving behaviors.
I  know I can do it, I can give up pmo. I know it's a choice to act out. I'm working to find ways to live clean, been failing at getting started and sticking with the daily practices which I know are help my sobriety. I suppose I keep listening to the addict that doesn't want me to quit. I keep finding justifications to do it just "one more time." Or "I'll quit once my wife cleans up her act."
I  use pmo to avoid the tedium and difficult situations that pop up in my every day life. It's affecting my productivity and my ability to concentrate. Screen addiction with my phone seems to be a problem too. Instagram, FB, etc.
I'm right beside you man, I'll do my best to keep up with you and cheer you on.

22
Hey Mech,
I'm  in. I love the idea of starting an accountability group. More people means more insight and improved success.
I've been looking into 13 step programs ever since reading Russel Brand's new book, "Recovery." Steps 1-3 are pretty simple. I'm on step 4 which requires a seasoned sobriety veteran. I don't have anyone in my life to help me work through the steps. Someone once turned me onto pornaddictsanonymous.org but I wouldn't exactly call it user friendly. Also, my life isn't conducive to regularly making the online meetings at the moment. Maybe I'm just making excuses but they meet on Sundays and I'm alone with my son almost every Sunday. I live in a rural area and there are no meetings for sex based addictions either.
Long story short, I'm willing to give it a shot but I think there needs to be some structure to adhere to. Just my 2 cents.
Peace

23
Ages 30-39 / Re: Craving Normality
« on: January 02, 2018, 02:02:09 PM »
Hit three weeks today despite all of the justifications that the inner addict has been spouting to get me to cave in. I’m giving myself a pat on the back.

This may sound strange but Im thankful for my previous relapses because there isn’t a trick that my mind has played on me that I haven’t seen before. You hear that brain?! I’m onto you and your self-serving bullshit! Ultimately I now know that there aren’t any excuses left for me to use. I’ve expended every single one. Relapse is a choice and I don’t have to be compelled by the addict inside.

Finally, I’m grateful for the combined sense of reflection and ambition that the New Year brings. This will be my 34th year on this planet and I have the choice of living with a crutch, lost in a dark but familiar forest to which I have become accustomed or I can begin to seek the path that I was meant to follow, the one that leads out of the forest and toward to a fulfilling life of uncertainty & adventure, pain & discovery, failure & exhilaration.
To all of us who still feel lost & alone; here’s to hoping that we are able to recognize when our path is illuminated and to have faith when our path seems dark and perilous. Our time is limited, let’s use it wisely.

24
Ages 30-39 / Re: My Diary
« on: January 02, 2018, 01:18:01 PM »
Get out there and try something new. Try an art class, start a hobby that's social, engage in an extreme sport. Anything, literally anything that is constructive. Fill up that emptiness and lonely time with fulfilling endeavors.
You might fail, but better to fail at something constructive than to succeed at PMO. Burn off that tension and frustration in a healthy way. Be aware of those times when you might be faced with some alone time and schedule an activity. Say "yes" to that acquaintance that offered to do something that puts you outside of your comfort zone. P is our comfort, our apathetic stupor. We must leave that comfort behind and start to come out from the rock we've been living under. Sometimes the pain and discomfort of day to day life is hard but you've got to develop a strategy for dealing with it that doesn't involve the crutch you've been leaning on all these years. I'm still stumbling, but remember you're never stumbling alone. Millions of people are struggling to kick one addiction or another. We'll never realize our true potential if we continue to rely on those crutches. Trying these interests might just spur you toward finding what you're meant to do with your limited time here on this crazy spinning rock. Good luck!

25
Ages 30-39 / Re: Craving Normality
« on: December 26, 2017, 10:23:06 AM »
I’m thankful for 2 weeks clean. It made for a memorable and blessed Christmas with my family. I am much less irritable and able to enjoy the small moments when I’m not using.
I’m currently reading “Recovery,” by Russell Brand. It has reminded me that I MUST keep reading at least a few pages of a good/helpful book every day and try to minimize my TV intake. It’s a great read and has me searching for a 12 step program in my area. I’m grateful for his similar perspectives on institutional recovery and his humor in relating his own story of addiction.Talking Sober is great but I feel like I need to incorporate the physical act of of attending a meeting into my sobriety. If I don’t, I feel like I’m not really admitting the problem because I’m keeping it as a part of my “online” life rather than my real life.
I’m blessed with a caring family, a warm home during some bitter cold, and the ability to provide food and a stable environment for my son. He is so bright, I just want to do anything I can to foster his confidence and curiosity

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