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Messages - Stevew

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Porn Addiction / Re: 5 years later i still haven't managed to quit
« on: August 16, 2020, 09:22:34 PM »
@majestic. That is what i havent developed or tried working on... reducing my binges, actively trying to stop even through relapses. i think thats partly why i still havent quit, even if i go long periods of time i always binge and makeup for the things i have 'missed' watching. By bingeing i think im just making it harder to quit also because i lose motivation to quit for a good while after. I don't see the potential in taking that slip up and going again. Its just a, ah ive slipped, might as well go back to the start... it just makes it harder. There is something i think to be gained in fighting off those initial relapses after a streak in that you body aches for another PMO, if like me you reach that point of bingeing where you no longer fancy pmoing physically... just out of bordem... youve already lost the resistance building for fighting the addiction. You are literally back to square 0 in not only symptoms (ED for sure) but also ones ability to fight it off for your next potential streak.

Thanks for the other comments too. Excercise for me always has helped, definetely not something to rely on. I recall first reading how much excercise can help then ended up relapsing and mentally just shut down from the idea of excercise being of any help because of that, creates fear of not being able to ever quit, which increases anxiety/withdraw smyptoms as easypeasy book points out. which i do quite like, allbeit i haven't managed to quit yet using its proposed silver bullet method.

Porn Addiction / Re: 5 years later i still haven't managed to quit
« on: August 07, 2020, 09:32:31 PM »
Yeah how this addiction ties in with your sexuality really makes it harder. It's hard to distinguish porn cravings from just sexual ones, either way they often result in urges to watch porn. I've discussed before how for me, girls wearing revealing clothing in the real world trigger my urges a bit. it's really bad. i need to almost avoid anything but a glance at women i'm not engaged/speaking with.
And thanks for the words of encouragement, i intend to quit this for good this year/onto next year. i can't bare the idea of spending my 20s without having a partner/sex life. I think i need to try and stop this habit i haven't honestly tried kicking hard enough of bingeing after a relapse. When you get into that binge mentality, you know the next time you relapse on a streak that there is a binge of porn to 'enjoy'. almost heightens my urges, desire for it. needs to be an ongoing battle of quiting.

Porn Addiction / Re: 5 years later i still haven't managed to quit
« on: August 06, 2020, 09:27:29 PM »
I've actively known about it for 5 years now. Think i posted on here in 2015. To be fair i have always upon relapsing, even if it wasn't to full on porn... had a binge for 1-4 weeks or something. Its that feeling shit again and knowing you've removed your progress. The easypeasy book did help in regards to actually making me feel better when on a streak. I didn't get terrible pangs whn i went a week free just recently. But i slipped up and got tampted into off an image i unintentioaly came across. I'm guessing triggers reduce in strength as you abstain further. i was only a week or so in.

what really agravates me is knowing ive got severe PIED and even if i do stop porn use it wont be a good 6-8+ months before my dick most likely properly works. That is a long time to go with enduring the sexual frustration one gets. That said you do just feel better most of the time, especially when you haven't recently peaked. The second you start peaking/entertaining it, the benefits dip for me.

thanks for the reply! im glad to hear you are free, very nice of you to stay around and help out. 

Porn Addiction / 5 years later i still haven't managed to quit
« on: August 06, 2020, 08:03:11 PM »
Painful seeing old posts on this forum. Still haven't beaten this. I read the EasyPeasy guide, felt great, relapsed and havent gotten back to that undeaftable mentality. Saw a physcosexual councelor a few years ago, didn't really help me to be fair, spent the first 4-5 sessions convincing her that porn addiction was a thing and could cause ED. Don't know where to go. I don't want to kill myself but i do feel trapped in a sort of pergutory, getting older (almost 24) and still haven't been able to have a relationship because of the ED side effect.

what i've come to realise with those like myself who are quite a severe case is that.. your addicted mind seeks out subsitutes. when im 1-2 months into abstaining i start glancing around look at women in public wearing revealing outfits to get that 'sexual/dopamine kick or fix'.  Its really about i think, not only removing all digital stimuli but also avoiding excessive sexual thoughts or behaviours like the one i mentioned, it leads to realspe and slows recovery. i've come to realise this isn't just an addiction you need to fight against when your on your phone or computer. I've gone through the period of reaching 3-6 months numerous times to realise this. The easypeasy book i have to say helped a lot, worth a read, good bit on subsitiues in that book.

Porn Addiction / Re: porn/sexual addiction - checking out women
« on: July 24, 2020, 07:35:25 PM »
Watched that video. It was interesting. I suppose the point is that we are wired from media (especially porn) to chase hotness... the curvy body... the revealing outfit etc. But in reality what will suit us better is not focusing on that? Is that what you got from it or am i missing something @DonAtLast

Porn Addiction / Re: porn/sexual addiction - checking out women
« on: July 24, 2020, 05:04:29 PM »
Thanks a lot! I definetely 100% relate to this... "So, seeing an attractive woman in public becomes the first domino falling in a porn activity, and the porn addict gets to go home and masturbate to whatever they saw."... seeing girls in real life even in a certain siutation say on a beach... guess what im booting up when i go home. We almost need to not let our eyes wander/concentrate of such things when in public as we do online. It feels great having some acitvity down there when seeing girls irl (when you've gone through a bad case of porn induced ED)... but often that constant looking for sexual body parts etc leads to the slipper slope.

Porn Addiction / porn/sexual addiction - checking out women
« on: July 23, 2020, 08:19:17 PM »
something i've come to realise is that when i do quit porn... i don't stop myself from getting those sexual induced dopamine shots. I find myself constantly glancing at girls in public... especially in the summer of course, in a creepy way. That has often resulted to me later masturbating then doing it to porn/digital material. I feel like i haven't just got a porn addiction its almost a hypersexual addiction. This isn't just about not looking at porn, its not oversexualising my behaviour. God this sucks, 5 years ive been at it. im guessing to most they dont have this issue. But in hindsight its something ive struggled with, i dont want to be a creep.

Anti hairloss shampoo/meds gave me desentisation (went away with stopping its use)... not sure if you are using those. But yeah deathgrip could be it. Quit and find out!

I've been at this 5 years or so too. Porn blockers NEVER worked. Im finding the truth is, especially when your a bad case... anything digitally sexual can set off those porn pathways... you cant avoid it. and when you've abstained for more then 2 weeks... anything can arouse you to be honest and set off the dopamine and make you spiral. It's about developing a mentality of making yourself ignore sexual images in any media that might unintetionally produce it, and of course making the decision... not using software.. to not allow yourself to watch porn. If you peak at sexual images in other avenues... guess what you've already likely screwed yourself and will slowly escalate whether its youtube video onto porn. hell i binged on sexual youtube videos for weeks and it felt the exact same as bingeing on porn.

Porn Addiction / Re: A EasyPeasy method NOT based on WillPower.
« on: July 23, 2020, 08:10:34 PM »
Read the book. Loved it, explained a lot. That said i ended up relapsing to a really unfortunet trigger on fb, literally a girl wearing nothing. bad excuse i know. That said when i relapsed what i felt went against what i read in the book. i got pleasure from it, and did so the following few times. For me it doesn't feel as simple as ''porn provides no pleasure or release". Granted, upon bingeing off a relapse i do feel shit. I've only ever felt really bad after a long streak of being porn free... it feels great but the depression and mostly shame sets in. Anyways ive had a hard time getting back on board after that slip. i was so convinced my mindset was unbeatable. That picture i saw really set me off, i'd seen many sexual images online before or in a tv show which i easily ignore but it was the sort that really catered to what i'd probably hit one off too. It's really hard to get back into the swing of things. So depressing seeing i've been 'on' this forum (allbeit not active for 4 years or so...) but 5-6 years... still here though. ED and the lot.

Forget it, i've practically binged now. PMO'd 3 times in one day. Can't be bothered to try anymore might as well fucking give up. 4 years and counting.

I went 76 days with no porn or masturbation. The next 2 days after that i relapsed to soft core porn/images 4 times. However, I have since managed to keep off porn for 5 days since. Even though i relapsed i still feel like i've kept that habit of avoiding pmo. I've tried quiting for 4 years and I've never managed to NOT binge for atleast two weeks after relapsing until I'm basically bored of porn again. This time i didn't even watch full out pornos with some of the more extreme tastes i've developed.

I mean 4 pmo's is bad. I hope it hasn't removed ALL of the progress i made in terms of fixing porn induced ED which is my main focus. Tell you what I am still getting a somewhat decent morning erection after a good nights sleep. I don't get random boners or anything, although I'm 22 now so i'm unsure if you still get them at this age?

One thing i would like to add. I haven't actually ever had sex with a girl. So i don't really know how bad my PIED is in terms of that. I've only kissed, touched an ass in the club (with consent lol). But i know when i found out i had a problem which was 4 years ago that i couldn't get it up to porn one day and panicked.

Ages 20-29 / At Uni - Made 65 days and relapsed - Attempt 2
« on: November 07, 2017, 06:25:12 PM »
I made 65 days and got morning erections back and had the odd semi when dancing with girls. But for a few reasons i relapsed and have ended up bingeing for 3 weeks now. I've decided now is enough and i need to get back on the no pmo train. So i need to officially tell myself this fact and by making this post I hope to solidify that. At uni it has been a bit lonely... I've had a difficult time making friends... but hey i will give it time. I am by nature someone that enjoys their own space while enjoying social activities but often in short bursts. I've been trying to quit for a good 3 years now. I've reached 90 days of which my mood improved (and anxiety) but most notably my ED. I do have quite bad porn induced ED... i mean right now i have practically no morning wood as a result of relapsing... nor does my dick even twinge or get excited around girls.

No FAP 90 day challenge
Day 1: 8/11/17

Porn Addiction / Lack of motivation for life/studying and work etc
« on: September 14, 2017, 01:49:46 AM »
Does anyone else just have no motivation for anything? Like I'm 20 and applying to university and seriously... like i just cant imagine a job that i will enjoy OR at least a job that i'd enjoy that i can realistically get. The idea of working just bores the crap out of me and doing stuff like watching films etc.. just keeps me 'stable' as in I don't feel too much boredm but I'm not having fun. I really hope it's this addiction that is causing me these issues... because god knows how i will fare in the future if I'm a lazy slob.(edited)
I'm off to university to do a game design foundation course and then perhaps onto a 3 year degree after. But that industry is competitive as hell and realistically i don't have a good chance of landing job yet alone a sustaining career. My alternative is to do a business degree but god damn it is mind numbingly boring. Also the kind of people in business (those pushy salesmen)... i can't stand those people.

Porn Addiction / Christian dating app?
« on: August 24, 2017, 02:43:32 PM »
My phycosexual counselor? I think that is the name... she wanted me to get tinder to start dating girl etc.. she still doesn't quite get that porn addiction does effect ur erections. As do a lot of doctors. Anyways I told her regular dating apps have half naked girls etc and are filled of girls just wanting to f***. She suggested me sining up to a christian dating app...
1 - I'm not Christian I'd be a dick to date a girl who is thinking i could be a potential partner etc.
2 - To be fair it isn't a bad idea in terms of rewiring... we won't be fucking and hey if she wanted to i'd have a good excuse aka... ''im waiting until marriage'' or ''Give it a few months blah blah jesus watching''.
I don't think it is right... but she was kind of serious about it. Anyways it's an idea for anyone else who is struggling... i have been for 3 years so.

Ok so I think I'm probably one of the worse cases of PIED. For the last 3 years (excluding times when i went more than 3 weeks) i had no morning wood and of course no random erections... I also ended up getting weak erections to porn.. I have to touch my penis to keep it erect. Excessive MO to porn has screwed up my pelvic floor too so that may be a factor. Anyways one year ago.. i reached i believe 2-3 months and i got solid morning wood... random erections (not too fun tbh especially when you are in public)... and pretty much 100% erections to touch alone. I have relapsed since and I'm working on reaching 3 months and then to continue that indefinitely (was totally in the clear until i unknowingly slowly relapsed by going on dating sites)...

In terms of bad cases I'm bad (watching extreme porn since 14-15 and I'm now 20). But it only took me 3 months to recover my erections... i've heard with my sort of case on paper it should take me longer. 3 Months is more for the guys that aren't virgins/haven't done it since their teens. Anyways... its been a year... does this perhaps mean i won't take too much longer than perhaps 3-4 months this time around? It would be crazy if it all of sudden took me 9 months. I seem to get semi MW (weak and not always) and I'm 4 days in.

My porn habits haven't escalated in the last 3 years they have if anything improved (relapsed on less extreme stuff). Nothing illegal though.

Porn Addiction / Depo Porvera - reduces sex drive/sexual urges...
« on: July 27, 2017, 05:56:50 PM »
I was reading off this website...
''In some cases, medications such as Depo-Provera may be prescribed to help reduce a person’s sex drive. Psychiatrists may also prescribe antidepressants or antianxiety medications for underlying conditions that influence the addiction.''
I read up on Depo-Provera...
Depo-Provera is a female hormone which, when given to a man, inhibits the production of testosterone, thus reducing sexual drive. When taking depo-Provera, men are still able to engage in sexual relations, but they do not think about sex as often and their sexual thoughts are not as strong as before.

I don't like the sound if having less testosterone. I mean I'm pretty sure that can effect your muscle growth and general looks. I am quite desperate (3 years in trying)... perhaps i will just try an anti depressant to dull the urges instead. Has anyone else heard about that though? what do you lot think? I'm really at my final straw... as long as it doesn't kill me...

Porn Addiction / Re: Youtube Relapse
« on: June 23, 2017, 07:57:05 PM »
Facebook for me is another killer. All it takes for me is a girl from my old school who i always thought was hot to suddenly be wearing a revealing out and I'm thinking ''ah shit i can't miss out on this''... oh and don't forget the constant sharing of sexual prank videos and even BLOODY adverts have sexual content. Today i logged din from my family pc and saw some revealing bikini advert.

Porn Addiction / Re: im feeling more depressed and spiraling
« on: June 23, 2017, 07:54:16 PM »
The sexual frustration for me is crippling. What makes it worse is i have a female staying at my house paying rent to my family... she is quite attractive (taken though so literally 0% chance)... does not help with shit.

Same thing happened to me... 2 weeks in spain... no wifi... sharing room with friend. I went mentally crazy with bordem mind you and my head was rageing with sexual thoughts.

Porn Addiction / Re: Youtube Relapse
« on: June 21, 2017, 05:07:52 PM »
You can watch very sexual videos on youtube. Naked women doing X. Going to be careful what i saw to not tempt and relapses here. No doubt watching fail complication/non sexual videos is FINE. But for me all it took was the right thumbnail (there always is no matter what i search for) and i'm watching that video and MO to it or then deciding to go full out and watch porn because ''i've basically relapsed so i might as well enjoy it then start the ''REAL'' reboot tomorrow... i could go on. If you don't have an issue with that then don't worry.

Porn Addiction / Re: Youtube Relapse
« on: June 20, 2017, 09:40:23 AM »
Yep it really sucks. Honestly youtube has been my downfall a lot. But as you say it has loads of entertaining but also education videos... i can't really afford to block it with my k9 protection software. BUT you can watch very 'sexy' videos on it.

I have have the gay thoughts etc. But i know it is the porn so really i don't think i have HOCD? If I have the thoughts i honestly don't care and try to focus on not relapsing.

Porn Addiction / Re: Brain Fog and resisting NoFap
« on: June 19, 2017, 09:29:27 AM »
My brain fog is terrible. I feel like i also honestly lose IQ points. Having crappy memory and concentration is the worse part of it.

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