Author Topic: Story of Full Recovery From Severe Pied  (Read 12085 times)

Hockey14

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Story of Full Recovery From Severe Pied
« on: January 08, 2020, 08:45:19 PM »
Hey guys, long time rebooter here.

I’ve been delaying my success story for far too long. I consider myself to be one of the more severe pied cases that I have seen. It took me about 1.5 years to recover, without relapsing to porn. I owe it to you guys to share my success story. Here we go.

Porn Use:

My porn use began when I was a young teenager. Being an uninformed kid, I thought porn was harmless. As I would eventually learn the hard way, porn is anything but harmless.

I watched porn (PMO’d) about every other day. Without realizing it, my porn addiction completely took over my life. I became a floater. I lost all meaning and purpose in my life. I did the bare minimum to preserve the illusion that I was a functional human being. Mostly so that my family and friends didn’t worry about me/discover my addiction.

After several years of consistent porn use, I eventually crashed and burned. Hard.

Rock Bottom:

One day I tried looking at some of my favourite porn. To my surprise, I could not get the slightest bit aroused. I went through a bunch more porn throughout the next couple of days, assuming my lack of libido was an anomaly. I still felt absolutely nothing. I started freaking out. All at once I realized just how severe the effects of my porn had been. Not only could I not get turned on by a real girl, or physical touch, but I couldn’t even get turned on by my favourite porn.

Initially, I had no idea what was going on. I didn’t even know that my problems were related to my porn use. Most ED articles online rarely mention that porn has detrimental health effects.

Reboot:

I eventually found some articles that said that porn had a correlation with ED in young men. From that moment on I never went back to porn.

I can honestly say that I didn’t even come close to relapsing throughout my reboot. Mostly because I was so terrified by the feeling of flying dead stick, even with my favourite porn.

I was utterly unprepared and uninformed for the withdrawal symptoms that would hit me in the weeks following my giving up porn. I don’t even know how to describe what I was feeling. It felt like my brain was screaming at me. Like it was telling me that I was dying without fuelling my addiction. I couldn’t focus on anything. I thought I was going insane.

Withdrawal symptoms came in waves. I was completely nonfunctional for days at a time. Symptoms were most intense when they first began; after a few weeks of having given up porn. After a couple more weeks it got much better, although I experienced brain fog (not being able to concentrate clearly) coming in waves for many months.

Eventually I found Gabe’s videos and all of the harrowing truths about porn use. Thank god for Gabe. If I hadn’t found his videos… I don’t know what might have become of me.

To survive the rebooting process and withdrawal symptoms, get something (or several things) to put your mind to. More importantly, be kind to yourself. You will likely experience hell on earth through your reboot. Don’t be too hard on yourself.

I took up running, and lifting weights. I felt like death doing these activities, but not because it was physically taxing. Mostly because in the past being physically active always made me feel good. Not so during the reboot. Brain fog/withdrawal symptoms were on the forefront of my mind no matter what I was doing. Nevertheless, I was persistent in exercising because I wanted to change everything about me. In my mind, I was not just giving up pornography, I was giving myself a second chance at life.

Rewiring:

I began a relationship with my now ex girlfriend shortly after I began rebooting. I believe that she certainly helped me recover for a while, but I tried to hide my problems from her. I don’t recommend being secretive about your problems if you find yourself in a similar situation.

A word of caution from my own experience -
I know there are many rebooters desperate to get a girlfriend to help them rewire. Tread carefully. Many modern women (and men) are not virtuous people. Do not trade your heart for an opportunity to be with an evil woman. Even if you think it will help rewire. It will do you so much more harm than good. Believe me.

I am not of the belief that rewiring is absolutely necessary to recover. I myself did not feel fully recovered until several months after I had broken up with my then girlfriend.

Conclusion:

It took me about a year and a half to feel fully recovered (without relapse). This is much longer than average. I've felt recovered for almost a year now.

Something I wish I had been told from the start, is that there is no definitive day when you will wake up and immediately feel 100%. Rebooting is a journey. As you progress in your recovery, you will have days where you feel pretty good & near recovery, followed by days where you feel awful and total flatline. Eventually, the good days will start to be far more frequent than the bad, and it will stop feeling like every day is a battle. Before you know it, you won’t even be thinking about rebooting because you feel totally normal again. At least, that was my experience.

Just know that if you have been struggling with this for a long time that there is hope. Be resilient. The journey is long, and might feel like it will never end. That’s sure how it felt during my reboot. There is a light at the end of the tunnel I promise. Keep pushing forward.

Love you bros.

- Hockey14

Guts

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Re: Story of Full Recovery From Severe Pied
« Reply #1 on: January 09, 2020, 07:52:01 AM »
Love your story Hockey, reading your posts have been a real help for me, thank you.

GreenSwampMan

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Re: Story of Full Recovery From Severe Pied
« Reply #2 on: January 09, 2020, 01:01:18 PM »
Thank you for sharing your story with us. :) When you say that it took you 1.5 years to heal are you talking about PIED or brain fog/withdrawal symptoms?
« Last Edit: January 09, 2020, 01:07:11 PM by GreenSwampMan »

Hockey14

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Re: Story of Full Recovery From Severe Pied
« Reply #3 on: January 10, 2020, 01:13:25 AM »
Thank you for sharing your story with us. :) When you say that it took you 1.5 years to heal are you talking about PIED or brain fog/withdrawal symptoms?

the 1.5 years was when I felt I had made a full recovery from pied (no ed or any other symptoms).

brain fog + other withdrawal symptoms came in waves throughout, but they got much better after a few months of rebooting without relapse.

Love your story Hockey, reading your posts have been a real help for me, thank you.

glad to hear it bro. i'll always keep an eye on the forums if you or anyone else has questions for me. were all gonna make it.

GreenSwampMan

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Re: Story of Full Recovery From Severe Pied
« Reply #4 on: January 10, 2020, 01:31:55 AM »
Thank you for sharing your story with us. :) When you say that it took you 1.5 years to heal are you talking about PIED or brain fog/withdrawal symptoms?

the 1.5 years was when I felt I had made a full recovery from pied (no ed or any other symptoms).

brain fog + other withdrawal symptoms came in waves throughout, but they got much better after a few months of rebooting without relapse.

Good to hear! Thank you for answering!

I have a few more questions:

1) How exactly did you discover that your PIED is cured? Were you able to have sex successfully after recovery?
2) Did you experience pain/soreness in the genitals during your recovery?

Hockey14

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Re: Story of Full Recovery From Severe Pied
« Reply #5 on: January 10, 2020, 09:32:48 PM »
Thank you for sharing your story with us. :) When you say that it took you 1.5 years to heal are you talking about PIED or brain fog/withdrawal symptoms?

the 1.5 years was when I felt I had made a full recovery from pied (no ed or any other symptoms).

brain fog + other withdrawal symptoms came in waves throughout, but they got much better after a few months of rebooting without relapse.

Good to hear! Thank you for answering!

I have a few more questions:

1) How exactly did you discover that your PIED is cured? Were you able to have sex successfully after recovery?
2) Did you experience pain/soreness in the genitals during your recovery?

1. I was able to have sex pretty consistently after around 7 months of rebooting. There were only a couple of times after the 7 month mark where I was having difficulties. On these occasions, I just told my ex girlfriend that I was "tired" and didn't want to. Although I could have sex regularly after 7 months, I wasn't able to get it up consistently with touch alone until 1.5 years into reboot. This is when I felt like I was completely recovered, and back to normal.

2. Yes I did experience soreness in my testicles. Sorry I totally forgot to put this is my original story. It was not consistent soreness. Every couple of weeks I would pee and semen would come out after I was done peeing. When this happened, it was followed by a day or 2 of my nuts being sore. lol. This went away after about a year of rebooting. I still don't really know what the cause of the soreness was. I read other rebooter's stories that said the soreness happened to them too, so I didn't think anything of it. The soreness will go away but it will probably take several months (from my experience).
« Last Edit: January 10, 2020, 09:35:29 PM by Hockey14 »

Relentless Observer

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Re: Story of Full Recovery From Severe Pied
« Reply #6 on: January 11, 2020, 02:59:35 PM »
Thank you for this post, it is something I appreciate.  I Especially appreciate the timeline and mention of difficult arousal even to porn, which is something I have seen few mentions on in this forum.

Universal

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Re: Story of Full Recovery From Severe Pied
« Reply #7 on: January 13, 2020, 04:07:33 PM »
Great success story, I have a couple of questions.

What's your take on Oing via sex, during recovery? I've been trying to severely limit this but I'm still Oing 1-2x per week through sex.

Did MW and/or libido return?

Are you able to illustrate how your energy/motivation feels now compared to before rebooting?

Thanks

Hockey14

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Re: Story of Full Recovery From Severe Pied
« Reply #8 on: January 15, 2020, 08:26:44 PM »
Great success story, I have a couple of questions.

What's your take on Oing via sex, during recovery? I've been trying to severely limit this but I'm still Oing 1-2x per week through sex.

Did MW and/or libido return?

Are you able to illustrate how your energy/motivation feels now compared to before rebooting?

Thanks

>Oing via sex during recovery (with a real girl):
I don't think it can hurt you. I just got too attached to my ex girlfriend, because I thought that she was my reboots lifeline. Obviously she wasn't and I made a full recovery well after we had broken up.

>Did MW and/or libido return? :
Yes. MW, became very consistent a couple months before I felt fully recovered. Libido during reboot came and went, after about 1.5 years of my reboot my libido felt completely back to normal. FULL recovery in all areas.

>Are you able to illustrate how your energy/motivation feels now compared to before rebooting?
My energy levels are much higher now than they were before my reboot. Before my reboot, all my energy went into porn and maintaining enough structure in my life to not worry my friends/family. I have been religiously going to the gym for weight training since the beginning of my reboot. That said, I think that people slightly exaggerate the "superpowers" from nofap. I'm not a hyper motivated superhero or anything. The main "superpower" I felt was being free from all the withdrawal symptoms and the ED, and that is more than enough for me. 

Hockey14

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Re: Story of Full Recovery From Severe Pied
« Reply #9 on: January 15, 2020, 08:31:09 PM »
Thank you for this post, it is something I appreciate.  I Especially appreciate the timeline and mention of difficult arousal even to porn, which is something I have seen few mentions on in this forum.
Glad to hear it. I tried to include all the relevant detail without it being excessively long. I did however forget to mention certain withdrawal symptoms that I experienced, so I addressed them in other peoples questions.

Ihateflatlines1999

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Re: Story of Full Recovery From Severe Pied
« Reply #10 on: February 16, 2020, 12:45:14 PM »
Hey man so did you do a HARDMODE reboot? Or did you continue to o with your ex while just giving up porn & masturbation?

ayana

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Re: Story of Full Recovery From Severe Pied
« Reply #11 on: February 18, 2020, 12:38:47 AM »
Thank you man, early in the morning, you made my day. i am to day 105 days of my rebbot journey. last week i was enjoying my good days, but from sunday to today, bad days take the turn. i know it is a character of the Journey. Actually i have no idea to relapse, for sure i can push more until my life ends.
You encouraged me thanks a lot

Redfire03

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Re: Story of Full Recovery From Severe Pied
« Reply #12 on: February 18, 2020, 07:56:29 AM »
I am over 650 days hardmode. I still am not fully recovered morning wood is there. But I still struggle with erections, trying to rewire right now. Porn is no longer an issue for me, it just getting back on the horse.

Hockey14

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Re: Story of Full Recovery From Severe Pied
« Reply #13 on: February 27, 2020, 11:15:05 PM »
Hey man so did you do a HARDMODE reboot? Or did you continue to o with your ex while just giving up porn & masturbation?

only O'd with ex.

Thank you man, early in the morning, you made my day. i am to day 105 days of my rebbot journey. last week i was enjoying my good days, but from sunday to today, bad days take the turn. i know it is a character of the Journey. Actually i have no idea to relapse, for sure i can push more until my life ends.
You encouraged me thanks a lot

i got the ups and downs a lot throughout my journey. hang in there bro. it's not easy. trust me I have been there. We're all gonna make it.

I am over 650 days hardmode. I still am not fully recovered morning wood is there. But I still struggle with erections, trying to rewire right now. Porn is no longer an issue for me, it just getting back on the horse.

don't give up king. i know what it's like to go so long feeling like it's hopeless. hang in there.

build4life

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Re: Story of Full Recovery From Severe Pied
« Reply #14 on: March 01, 2020, 09:42:37 AM »
Hey Hockey, Great to read your success story!

Did you suffer for genital shrinkage during your time rebooting? If you did then was it during the whole of the reboot process or just during periods of flatline?

Have you noticed that you hang bigger and fuller now that you are rebooted?

Thanks buddy

Hockey14

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Re: Story of Full Recovery From Severe Pied
« Reply #15 on: March 03, 2020, 12:42:31 AM »
Hey Hockey, Great to read your success story!

Did you suffer for genital shrinkage during your time rebooting? If you did then was it during the whole of the reboot process or just during periods of flatline?

Have you noticed that you hang bigger and fuller now that you are rebooted?

Thanks buddy

Yeah i definitely felt as if I experienced some intermittent shrinkage during flatline. my balls would also get really sore and shrink up very occasionally (lol). I'm still not really sure what caused this, but I know that other rebooters have reported the same thing. I definitely feel "bigger and fuller" now that I'm fully recovered. I'm not entirely sure if this is physical, or just a psychological thing just from feeling recovered though. 

Relentless Observer

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Re: Story of Full Recovery From Severe Pied
« Reply #16 on: March 06, 2020, 08:39:38 PM »
I am over 650 days hardmode. I still am not fully recovered morning wood is there. But I still struggle with erections, trying to rewire right now. Porn is no longer an issue for me, it just getting back on the horse.

I am about 550 days in and I am having a very tough time.  Not too long ago I masturbated and feel as though I have gone back to the start. 
I wish you the best of luck.  I have read some of your posts and they really give me hope and a sense of community.
I will update any successes I have along the way.

Hockey14

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Re: Story of Full Recovery From Severe Pied
« Reply #17 on: March 10, 2020, 12:36:47 AM »
I am over 650 days hardmode. I still am not fully recovered morning wood is there. But I still struggle with erections, trying to rewire right now. Porn is no longer an issue for me, it just getting back on the horse.

I am about 550 days in and I am having a very tough time.  Not too long ago I masturbated and feel as though I have gone back to the start. 
I wish you the best of luck.  I have read some of your posts and they really give me hope and a sense of community.
I will update any successes I have along the way.

Don't beat yourself up over it king. It takes years of consistent porn use to mess our brains up like it has. You wont have undone your progress with one relapse.

That said, Learn from it. Understand what it was that triggered the relapse. Try to protect yourself from letting the same thing happen again.

build4life

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Re: Story of Full Recovery From Severe Pied
« Reply #18 on: March 23, 2020, 09:56:44 AM »

Yeah i definitely felt as if I experienced some intermittent shrinkage during flatline. my balls would also get really sore and shrink up very occasionally (lol). I'm still not really sure what caused this, but I know that other rebooters have reported the same thing. I definitely feel "bigger and fuller" now that I'm fully recovered. I'm not entirely sure if this is physical, or just a psychological thing just from feeling recovered though.

Thats great to hear thanks Hockey!

Jeks

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Re: Story of Full Recovery From Severe Pied
« Reply #19 on: April 22, 2020, 02:07:28 AM »
Hey hockey,

i am very happy for you, that you have managed to get this shit out of your life. Your story is really helpful and inspiring.
I also got PIED. At least i hope, because when i did the the test i got no full erection in both occassions, but it was better with porn and much easier to orgasm (could not really orgasm at all without porn). I also had a surgery against venous leak, which did not help. The last time i saw the doctor, he told me, everything looks fine. However he also told me, that sometimes it looks fine, but it isnt, but then their is no way of surgery and i have to try other methods... Anyway.
In a few days i am nine months porn free. There were 2 to 3 5-days periods with month-long breaks in between during my reboot, when i got really good to full nocturnal or morning erections, but in the last weeks there is not much happening down there.
The last days i really started to think about, when i should maybe try to MO to see where i am at. I read on ybop, that MW is not always a definite indicator. I think i will maybe wait one more month or so.
Do you have got any thoughts about this. I would apreciate it.

https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/rebooting-porn-use-faqs/how-do-i-know-when-im-back-to-normal/#erections

https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/rebooting-porn-use-faqs/how-do-i-know-when-im-back-to-normal/when-do-i-test/
« Last Edit: April 22, 2020, 02:33:39 AM by Jeks »

blueicetea10

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Re: Story of Full Recovery From Severe Pied
« Reply #20 on: April 24, 2020, 03:29:19 AM »
This was brilliant to read! Thanks :D
Mastery is not an exalted state that lies at the end of the path; it is a state of mind the lies at the very beginning.
Mastery is in the act of setting foot on the path, not in reaching its end.

Hockey14

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Re: Story of Full Recovery From Severe Pied
« Reply #21 on: April 30, 2020, 02:27:41 AM »
This was brilliant to read! Thanks :D

Glad you find it helpful!  :)

tim2911

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Re: Story of Full Recovery From Severe Pied
« Reply #22 on: May 01, 2020, 02:07:59 AM »
Hoi i havent wachter over 17 weeks but i have mastrubated  count that as healing ?

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Re: Story of Full Recovery From Severe Pied
« Reply #23 on: May 02, 2020, 12:10:02 AM »
Hey Hockey14,
great to read your success story. I an currently on day 28 of no PMO and your story motivated me. I just have one question tho.
When you mentioned " I wasn't able to get it up consistently with touch alone until 1.5 yrs". What does that mean? nobody can get it up with touch alone, some sort of fantasy is required right (obviously no porn fantasy)??
When I fantasize about a real girl I do get hard but without that i can't.
Please help!
Thank you

Hockey14

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Re: Story of Full Recovery From Severe Pied
« Reply #24 on: May 05, 2020, 11:17:12 PM »
Hey Hockey14,
great to read your success story. I an currently on day 28 of no PMO and your story motivated me. I just have one question tho.
When you mentioned " I wasn't able to get it up consistently with touch alone until 1.5 yrs". What does that mean? nobody can get it up with touch alone, some sort of fantasy is required right (obviously no porn fantasy)??
When I fantasize about a real girl I do get hard but without that i can't.
Please help!
Thank you


Young healthy men should still be able to get it up with touch alone. Older age or being circumcised might affect this though. Watch Gabe Deem's earlier porn induced ED videos on youtube. He talks about this in more detail.