100 Days - Not Feeling Horny - No Morning Wood

I am 55 years old and have been using porn all of my adult life. Over the last 20 years I've not been in a relationship, some dating, but no actual sex. Part of the reason was I have always had performance anxiety in bed and it just got worse and on top of that the porn made it even worse. I know I am not alone with that.

I have been porn free for over 100 days! No PMO at all. But I'm not feeling horny or waking up with morning wood. I'm pretty healthy, I could lose a few pounds but I'm certainly not fat. I bicycle as a workout but don't lift weights. About a year ago I went to a urologist and he checked my blood flow and said I had the blood flow of an 18 year old. I do Kiegels every day, 3 times a day of 10 reps.

I'm a young 55 year old and want women in my life and they are around. What can I do to feel horny and ready again? I plan on starting weight lifting, which I heard will help. I will be also posting in the PIED forum about this.

Congrats on the three months. Man, you are off to a great start. I'd call that your 'reboot period'. Now you need some serious 'rewiring' which is slowly teaching your body to get used to a real live human. Of course, that person is not easy to find, but simply start by dating. Talking, closeness, holding hands etc. Don't expect to jump into a hot sex scene--this will take time to relearn what porn and anxiety has taken away from you. You are rebuilding brick by brick. Eventually when a more sexual situation becomes a reality, consider a small dose of cialis or viagra the first couple of times just to help you get started and overcome anxiety.

Also, I've noticed, the farther away from porn I am, the less horny I am until that moment when I am supposed to be--which is when I'm yanking my clothes off for sex. Don't expect to be walking around with a hard on or drooling after every woman/man (depending on whom you're attracted to). That is porn thinking.

Finally, learn all you can. I relied on yourbrainonporn.com. Watch all the videos, listen to the radio shows, etc. Again, you're off to a great start. Keep going!!

Phase2 said:

Also, I've noticed, the farther away from porn I am, the less horny I am until that moment when I am supposed to be--which is when I'm yanking my clothes off for sex. Don't expect to be walking around with a hard on or drooling after every woman/man depending on whom you're attracted to. That is porn thinking.

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I have noticed the same. Great observation!

Thanks guys for the support.

I have a date tomorrow night with a woman who a dated a little bit when I was still using porn. I'm not looking to jump into bed with her at all, but it would be great to kiss a bit. I do have some Cialis for the future.

Phase has hit it on the head.  Rewiring is the next, and imo, possibly harder step.  I think the cautionary tale is to recall what rewiring is and what it is not.  Flirting, courting and the things of a younger man, first base and then working around the field.  Nicely done with the 100, amazing work.

sodonewithit said:

Phase has hit it on the head.  Rewiring is the next, and imo, possibly harder step.  I think the cautionary tale is to recall what rewiring is and what it is not.  Flirting, courting and the things of a younger man, first base and then working around the field.  Nicely done with the 100, amazing work.

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I couldn't agree more. A nice gentle first date, try not to even think about sex (easy for me to say on day 6). Some complimentary chat and maybe a kiss here and there if the chemistry is nice, then escort her home like a gentleman. Oh those were the days....

Hope you have a splendid time, NotTooOld.

Thanks.

sodonewithit, I noticed your sig references the documentary "Hot Girls Wanted". A month or so ago I started watching an interview on VICE with the women who made the movie. I had to stop, they showed some non porn scenes from porn films and I just felt it could lead to a slip for me. But that's just me.

Yes it certainly has some scandalous parts but if you really are stopping nothing should be a trigger to fap.  I found the flick to be depressing at best, it's not a great movie by any means all the same but still informative.  One part in specific got me where the "internet pimp" laughed at these girls who thought no one will see the videos, for this simple remark I think all us abusers of porn should see it.  Such a simple thing to make a video and most of the girls only make one yet forever that business will follow them, crushing.