Newborn Brain
Member
Today I had terrible migraine - hadn't had it for a long time.
105 days no P, no M till O, no sex at all...
I was very anxious this weekend because of an event in the church I am a member of. I am the choir conductor and we had this presentation to do over the weekend.
I was so anxious that I had no energy to work out yesterday.
Besides, I didn't have the escape I used to have, using PMO when I felt this way.
No interest in having sex with my wife. No desire at all.
Felt a little better today after going down on my knees and praying the stress away. It helped until the end of the event.
Came home with the visual disturbances that are common before the headache shows up with torment... Couldn't eat (tried, but part of it came out again)... This is common when I have migraine...
Talked to my wife this morning about divorce. She keeps saying that this is not the solution to our problems, but a change of mind, thoughts, attitudes...
Even though she feels ostracized by me, she still wants to be with me... Part of this ostracism I feel is due to her neglicence with our relatioship along the years and part because of my feelings towards men and part because of childhood and part because of the consequences of wiring sexual desire and sexuality to P and MOing...
I told her that I was feeling like M ing, to have some relaxation and asked if she really meant that once, that that was okay for her, if I needed... She said she was okay, even though she thought it was not good for me to do it and asked to help me...
I told her that she could try, but I knew I wasn't going to have an erection - and that's what happened...
After some time I asked her to stop trying...
I realized that what I was feeling was not PIED, but the lack of desire toward her...
I fell asleep being caressed by her, and when I woke up she was gone to the rehearsal that I should have been at too...
I started manipulating myself, to see if I'd have some erection and it happened... I didn't M until O, because that was not the goal... I just wanted to feel some feelings of pleasure... by myself...
Writing here, now, it is becoming clear to me that I need to find out a healthier way to deal with my pains and anxiety. Unfortunately, my body still understands M ing as an option, although, THANKS HEAVENS, P does not appear as a way out of depression or into pleasure...
I am glad I didn't give in... totally...
I wish you all had a great Sunday!
PORN is not an option! PORN is destructive! PORN is humiliating! PORN is miserable! PORN is filthy! PORN is not for people who want to live healthy lives! PORN is a miserable disease! PORN is a miserable addiction! PORN IS NOT GOOD SEX!
It's never enough said and repeated!
105 days no P, no M till O, no sex at all...
I was very anxious this weekend because of an event in the church I am a member of. I am the choir conductor and we had this presentation to do over the weekend.
I was so anxious that I had no energy to work out yesterday.
Besides, I didn't have the escape I used to have, using PMO when I felt this way.
No interest in having sex with my wife. No desire at all.
Felt a little better today after going down on my knees and praying the stress away. It helped until the end of the event.
Came home with the visual disturbances that are common before the headache shows up with torment... Couldn't eat (tried, but part of it came out again)... This is common when I have migraine...
Talked to my wife this morning about divorce. She keeps saying that this is not the solution to our problems, but a change of mind, thoughts, attitudes...
Even though she feels ostracized by me, she still wants to be with me... Part of this ostracism I feel is due to her neglicence with our relatioship along the years and part because of my feelings towards men and part because of childhood and part because of the consequences of wiring sexual desire and sexuality to P and MOing...
I told her that I was feeling like M ing, to have some relaxation and asked if she really meant that once, that that was okay for her, if I needed... She said she was okay, even though she thought it was not good for me to do it and asked to help me...
I told her that she could try, but I knew I wasn't going to have an erection - and that's what happened...
After some time I asked her to stop trying...
I realized that what I was feeling was not PIED, but the lack of desire toward her...
I fell asleep being caressed by her, and when I woke up she was gone to the rehearsal that I should have been at too...
I started manipulating myself, to see if I'd have some erection and it happened... I didn't M until O, because that was not the goal... I just wanted to feel some feelings of pleasure... by myself...
Writing here, now, it is becoming clear to me that I need to find out a healthier way to deal with my pains and anxiety. Unfortunately, my body still understands M ing as an option, although, THANKS HEAVENS, P does not appear as a way out of depression or into pleasure...
I am glad I didn't give in... totally...
I wish you all had a great Sunday!
PORN is not an option! PORN is destructive! PORN is humiliating! PORN is miserable! PORN is filthy! PORN is not for people who want to live healthy lives! PORN is a miserable disease! PORN is a miserable addiction! PORN IS NOT GOOD SEX!
It's never enough said and repeated!
