Hello everybody,
I created an account to tell my story hoping that it would help/give some incentive to others that are in the same situation as me.
I am 26 years old. I started masturbating viewing porn at the age of 17 increasing the content and frequency. In the beginning I masturbated up to 5 times per day, really hardcore until I turned 22, when I had my second sex experience (my first one was a good one at the age of 17) and I couldn't get it hard enough to have penetration sex. I decided to lower my masturbation pace to once every two days believing that everything was normal and that I failed because of the excess masturbation.
4 months ago, I seeing a friend that wanted to turn our friendship in a friendship+ and I agreed. The moment that almost destroyed me was when she said that my dick was not hard enough and that something is wrong. I thought I was having ED but when watching porn I realized that my got really hard and even took some pictures to prove it to her.
I decided then to quit watching porn but failed because I kept fantasizing in the special porn I liked (and still like to be honest but try not to think about it too much). When we tried again for sex, I failed and started doing some research and discovered that I had to stop everything, even fantasy masturbation and edging. The first weeks have been EXTREMELY hard (it gets better with time) but you feel improvements.
I am now in week 5 and I will see this friend again next weekend hoping to have a decent erection to finally have successful sex with her. Maybe I won't but I will keep trying as I feel some improvements (morning woods, seing women differently, etc...). I still have cravings (it is indeed an ADDICTION), but as every addiction, one can overcome it!
I want to have a normal life, have sex, and maybe one day have kids. I really like this girl and would like to please her sexually because if I don't I would hate myself a lot.
I have an obsession/fetish with women weighing in. It is a rare one but before it was the only thing that turned me up, now the other day I was goofing around with another friend and suddenly had an erection so another sign of improvement.
I will come back in two weeks after seeing my friend to update my status. Wish me luck!
UPDATE:
I update you guys on how it went with my girlfriend that weekend I went to see her 6 weeks in nofap. It went so so. I did some improvements but they were not enough to maintain a good erection to have sex. When I came back home, I had a huuuuuuge chaser effect that led me to watch porn again so I relapsed. Let me tell you something. I am happy that I did because the following week I had the most severe anxiety and self-loathing I've ever had in my entire life. It made me to go even more hardcore with the reboot and throw all the memories away every time I had flashbacks.
Last weekend my girlfriend came to visit. 10 weeks in nofap and I'm glad to say that I had the strongest erections so far. I was even able to put a condom without loosing the erection. We didn't have intercourse but I have never enjoyed "sex" that much ever! I am really happy for that.
What's been bothering me lately is: 1) Flashbacks of porn (I still have them and sometimes they are really hardcore so hard to get them off my mind).
2) Anxieties. I hope they will go away with time. Basically a roller-coaster with ups and downs in my mood.
I am going for the three months goal here with 2 relapses and one wet dream that felt like a relapse because I was dreaming with porn (I had a super stressful day that day). It's been the hardest thing I've ever done but I don't give up and keep trying. Much love and strength!
I created an account to tell my story hoping that it would help/give some incentive to others that are in the same situation as me.
I am 26 years old. I started masturbating viewing porn at the age of 17 increasing the content and frequency. In the beginning I masturbated up to 5 times per day, really hardcore until I turned 22, when I had my second sex experience (my first one was a good one at the age of 17) and I couldn't get it hard enough to have penetration sex. I decided to lower my masturbation pace to once every two days believing that everything was normal and that I failed because of the excess masturbation.
4 months ago, I seeing a friend that wanted to turn our friendship in a friendship+ and I agreed. The moment that almost destroyed me was when she said that my dick was not hard enough and that something is wrong. I thought I was having ED but when watching porn I realized that my got really hard and even took some pictures to prove it to her.
I decided then to quit watching porn but failed because I kept fantasizing in the special porn I liked (and still like to be honest but try not to think about it too much). When we tried again for sex, I failed and started doing some research and discovered that I had to stop everything, even fantasy masturbation and edging. The first weeks have been EXTREMELY hard (it gets better with time) but you feel improvements.
I am now in week 5 and I will see this friend again next weekend hoping to have a decent erection to finally have successful sex with her. Maybe I won't but I will keep trying as I feel some improvements (morning woods, seing women differently, etc...). I still have cravings (it is indeed an ADDICTION), but as every addiction, one can overcome it!
I want to have a normal life, have sex, and maybe one day have kids. I really like this girl and would like to please her sexually because if I don't I would hate myself a lot.
I have an obsession/fetish with women weighing in. It is a rare one but before it was the only thing that turned me up, now the other day I was goofing around with another friend and suddenly had an erection so another sign of improvement.
I will come back in two weeks after seeing my friend to update my status. Wish me luck!
UPDATE:
I update you guys on how it went with my girlfriend that weekend I went to see her 6 weeks in nofap. It went so so. I did some improvements but they were not enough to maintain a good erection to have sex. When I came back home, I had a huuuuuuge chaser effect that led me to watch porn again so I relapsed. Let me tell you something. I am happy that I did because the following week I had the most severe anxiety and self-loathing I've ever had in my entire life. It made me to go even more hardcore with the reboot and throw all the memories away every time I had flashbacks.
Last weekend my girlfriend came to visit. 10 weeks in nofap and I'm glad to say that I had the strongest erections so far. I was even able to put a condom without loosing the erection. We didn't have intercourse but I have never enjoyed "sex" that much ever! I am really happy for that.
What's been bothering me lately is: 1) Flashbacks of porn (I still have them and sometimes they are really hardcore so hard to get them off my mind).
2) Anxieties. I hope they will go away with time. Basically a roller-coaster with ups and downs in my mood.
I am going for the three months goal here with 2 relapses and one wet dream that felt like a relapse because I was dreaming with porn (I had a super stressful day that day). It's been the hardest thing I've ever done but I don't give up and keep trying. Much love and strength!