There is a better life

55 and time

New Member
I will be 55 next month.  I have been married for 10 years, i am moving out on Saturday.  Why you ask, because i have been looking at porn in one form or another since i was about 15.  My wife finally caught me about 2 weeks ago, and everything has been heading downward since than.
I don't think that I have had an intimate relationship my whole life.  That is what I want.
Now that I am here and I read what everybody has to say, I realize I have an opportunity to change my life.
The concept of no PMO never crossed my mind.  Seems crazy but when you are in the middle of it you have no idea how bad you're life is being affected.  I am on day 11 and I see where I am heading. 
One step at a time and one moment at a time.  What is good is that right now as i write this i am free of PMO.
I have to set my goals, sail my ship, and see where I can get myself.

Thank You everybody that has shared a story on here.  It has made more difference for me than I can even put into words.

I will try to write in here everyday and share more of what is going on.
 

Bibbity

Active Member
Apparently over 50% of marriages end due to porn usage so you are not alone.  You can do this!  Read as much as you can on YBOP to educate yourself about this.
 

55 and time

New Member
Today I am feeling pretty edgy.  I have to move out this weekend.  I am trying to start identifying triggers and working at avoiding them.  Hate to be cliche but one day at a time.
 

PMOVictory

Active Member
Stay strong Brother

This may sound strange and you might curse me for saying it. One day just after the EX Wife left me and I were still hurting a lot, trying to cope and make sense out of it, a friend told me. "This will all come to pass." I clearly remember how I thought to myself, "Do you know what you are saying? Do you know how hurt I am...?"
But not long after that things started to change and it did change and came to pass. This was 10 years ago! Unbelievable.
About 2 ? months ago my wife, I've been married for 9 years now, caught me M-ing red handed. For me this was the last of my wake up calls. A series of things happened that made me realise that PMO can not be a part of my life any more. Thank God for this, I'm reaching my 90 day reboot in just over 3 weeks. (You can read my story titled Victory over PMO)
Getting back to what I want to tell you. No matter how devastated you are right now... No matter how unsure you are about the future... Know for sure this all will come to pass.
And like you said... "One step at a time and one moment at a time."
Stay STRONG
 

SlaveToRighteousness

Active Member
One of the biggest revelations I've had since breaking my PMO addiction has been that the things I've wanted most in my life that I tried (but failed) to fulfill with PMO was actually an intimate relationship with a real woman.
 
    Hi 55. Porn has damaged all relationships i've been in. Mainly it made me neglect. But how can i say it made me neglect? It's not alive, it doesn't have a will. I made myself neglect? But i didn't want to hurt them so why did i always end up at the sexshop buying those dvds? When i knew 2 days later they be knocking on my door and expecting attention and sex and i'd be totally uninterested? I think it all started when i was 17. I adored this girlfriend i had. She didn't adore me so much. Well not sexually anyway. I was really dependent and obsessed with her. I wanted to be with her all the time and so did she. But she wasn't up for sex as much as i was. That became a problem. My neediness wasn't good. I started watching porn. I wasn't so needy anymore. Now my distance was a problem. She left. The porn stayed and i was never needy again. As a matter of fact i'm just realising i've acused some girlfriends of being needy, demanding, etc, just like i was before i was an addict. Actually becomming needy is a fear i have about quiting porn. I've quit 2 times and i got girlfriends but i can only quit the girlfriends if i relapse to porn. Hey i think i've learned something about myself! Thank you for being here!
 

sonofJack

Member
Welcome to the group 55. I'm so very sorry to hear how PMO has ruined another marriage; it is a sickness, but one that is manageable. If you are willing to work hard, feel uncomfortable, and learn to trust the others who are in the same boat, you just might be able to rid your life of PMO.

I'm rooting for you.
 
Top