i gave in last night!

Well its only been a few days and I already gave in to PMO.  I truly feel there's absolutely nothing wrong with masturbating, just as long as its not in excess.  Everybody does it right?  I'm not making excuses for PMO'ing.. that i know is wrong and i couldn't feel any worse for giving into the craving.  I got in bed and started at my usual nifty.org site and 3 hours later I'm cumming to some vid i felt was the ultimate stimulate for that night at least.  I wish nifty would get taken down.  Its controlling my life. 

I know its only been a few days  but i truly feel bad.  I'm gonna try to start again tho!  I know giving up jerking off is ridiculous,  at least for a single guy.  I recall trying to give it up as a teenager. .at New Years.. on my birthday. . Etc.  I'd usually last about a week and then have one of the most powerful O's ever.. almost like that very first one.  I realized I  was beginning to abstain so i could reach that ultimate O!  So i stopoed trying to stop M because it wasn't my problem. PMO definitely IS my problem.  As I said in an earlier post "searching for that ultimate pic, vid, story".

So I'll start again today and see what happens.  Feel free to PM me.  I can use all the support from anyone who can relate to my story.

Thanks again! 

Hey Nifty. No one can fault you for falling for the same thing that brought most of us here.  To rid yourself of porn, you will have to establish a personalized reason WHY you wan to stop using porn front and center.  If that is forgotten, then the excuse to slip will creep back in.  If you were King and could take down all porn sites, there would be other avenues.  Most of the guys here have identified their "losses" from porn use.  These range from very personal (divorce, lost relationships) to embarrassment (can't get a hard on with real sex partner) to sour grapes about what might have been  if they had not spent hours, days, years looking into a glass screen (and avoiding relationships in real life).

My best advice going forward is to take stock of WHY you want to quit - and then try to build on it.  This is what I am doing today. ...oh yeah, and DON'T even think about looking at porn.  Not even a mild porn pic.  Do it today.  Then handle tomorrow - tomorrow.  Cheers.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MYSVMgRr6pw

Hey Hoosier!  Thanks so much for the reply and advice.  I know not everyone replies to posts but its nice to see what I've written evokes the need for someone, like yourself to take time to respond.  I will definitely take what you've said to heart and try not to look at, read and Masturbate to Porn. 

Thanks again!

P.S. Not sure if your username has anything to do with it but.. i love this song! 

Stay strong.  It gets easier.  For me, the mo is tough to go without, but the porn has a much less hold on me than it did.  Images pop in my mind, but they cant force me to the computer.

It's a bitch...I won't lie...but if I knew 20 years ago that I would feel as free as I do now (in about 6 weeks with one reset in the middle) I would be 2 decades free from porn.

For me now, I deal with a few emotional issues, ups and downs, desire for faster healing, but these things are a piece of cake compared to the anxiety the first couple of weeks.  Do the hard work...your future is WORTH it.

Awesome advice Unchained!  So do u think I should abstain from jerking off too?  See for me, the longer I stay off nifty. .the more I think of the new stories that are posted.  If I can stay off it for 90 days I hope it works.  I'm thinking I should also go back and delete my earlier posts that mention that horrible website.  I don't want others on here tempted to check it out and fall into it's trap as i did. 
Thanks again for the support! 

I understand the desire to see what is new.  That's a struggle I have as well.  At times, it used to drive me nut, but it does get easier.

Years ago I quit smoking.  At 1st, it was extremely difficult. I thought about it all the time. After a while, I had frequent cravings, but refrained because I didn't want to give up my success. The cravings became less and less.  Eventually after putting some distance between me and my addiction, I realized that the desire may pop up from time to time the rest of my life, but I had gotten to a place where I was happier and healthier without them, so they were not even an option I considered.

I feel much is the same with porn.  My guess is that part of me will always want to mo to pictures of sexy women.  However, what porn takes is so much more than it gives.  I will not trade a healthy penis, time with my family, a good sex life with my beautiful wife, time spent doing hobbies I enjoy, etc for a daily 2 hour dopamine ride locked away in secrecy.  There is a real choice to be made.  It is one or the other.  It is either the life you want or a life with porn.

As far as mo, I don't know.  It probably does speed the process to abstain.

For me, no MO builds so much tension after a few days that I have more porn thoughts flash through my head.  If I mo, I feel calm for a few days and don't struggle with thoughts of porn.  There are many different opinions.  Read what seems to work for others and chart your own course.

I try not to fantasize when I mo, just relax and enjoy the feeling.  I believe that porn was my problem.  Stay away from it and things will get better.

Wow!  This makes a lot of sense.  I just have to keep telling myself that I am in control here.. not porn!  Of course i still have that urge to read porn and look at porn.  That seems to be my downfall. . Craving that new porn story.. that new high.. that ultimate PMO!  The taboo of reading stories about mm, mmf, ds, etc is tempting.  I've been j/o to this for years.  Its so hard!

Hey Nifty, glad to be of help.  I totally agree with Unchained's advice.  You do have to ignore (and not go near) porn of any kind.  It is not at all easy, but in time - if you can get some distance - it gets easier.  Perhaps the most philosophical reason (and Unchained eluded to it) is that you are wasting time and potentially productive energy, jerking off to digitized pics and missing out on the real things in life.  If your married, you're doing the equivalent of going into the cellar and running for hours and hours in a "mouse wheel" but without the cardio benefit - or any benefit whatsoever.

Yeah i never thought of it as if i am an alcoholic and take that drink.  I'm a pornoholic!  Thanks again for the advice guys! 

Great article here about "Porn is not an option mindset"
http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?PHPSESSID=f5777bcfb4f7a9c5e5eae32d7a90087d&topic=3078.0

http://www.yourbrainonporn.com/what-if-i-use-porn-without-orgasm

Wow.. six days and I caved again!  WTF!  I was bored and checked out Craigslist ads.. 4 hours later I'm PMO'ing to a story on nifty.  So this morning I started reading some articles on YBOP  and read about  Edging and how I have conditioned my brain to wait for that ultimate image, story, orgasm!

So today I will reset my counter and try again,  only this time I'm giving up MO for 90 days as well.  Wish me luck!

I copied that link about Edging at the beginning of this post. .  Makes a lot of sense.

a stumble is not a complete reset.  If you trip in marathon, they don't make you go back to the starting line.

It is a learning opportunity - think back what led you to stumble and be prepared to deal with it next time.

stay strong!

Gonna try!  Thanks again for the support!