The End-My Journal

Hi Everyone,

Not sure where to start so I will start with my story.  I began watching porn at about the age of 12 or 13. I vividly remember the first time and how it made me feel. At about the age of 14 I began to watch porn daily and sometimes multiple times a day. I am now 29 years old and I have been addicted for quite some time. I have tried to quite a handful of times and I believe the longest I've gone without watching is about two months.  Within the last five years when I have attempted to quit I have maybe lasted two weeks and then I relapsed. I have been married for about two years and porn has pretty much completely ruined my intimacy with my wife. Instead of being with the women I love I'd rather sneak off into the other room and watch porn. I'm hoping by journaling and finding an accountability buddy(ies) I will be able to stop for good. I will do my best to journal each and every day while I am having urges. Feel free to post in my journal or send me a private message! I'm looking forward to being free of this addiction.........

Day 2

So even after one day I'm so used to my routine of looking at porn that it's already extremely tempting. I felt like I was objectifying women all day long as well. I plan on trying to keep myself occupied so I am not tempted.  Again, if anyone is looking for an accountability buddy please send me a message!

Hey there and welcome on board.

Don't worry, week one is the hardest one when you start a reboot. I think that the most difficult days are the number 4-5, then it gets easier as times passes. Stay strong and say no to your brain. You will need quite some time to get rid of this "routine process". I certainly experienced a kind of emptiness in my daily routine in the very first days of my first streak because I reached such an extreme point in my addiction that I was looking at porn not because I needed it, but simply by habit. It was like my brain my on auto pilot mode sometimes and I would just look at porn for no particular reason, just to kill time. And even though I had my fair share of relapses like most of us, I think that I kind of broke that "routine process" and those "What am I gonna do with all that free time I have now that I don't do PMO anymore" moments. Just try to do something else, find new hobbies etc... focus your mind on something else and little by little, you will think less and less about porn. Back in the times, porn seemed to be my first thoughs by default, now it is still the case but only in very rare occasions.

My first advice would be to get a counter and read! http://yourbrainonporn.com/  It helps a lot in knowing why you want to fight.

Stay strong mate.

Dud im looking for a acct partner cause I dont think I can take this one on my own. I need someone who understand this to keep me motivated and im sure u can use the support as well. Lets take help each other out.

Hey I just joined the forum and am looking for an accountability partner.  Am 23 and I've been masturbating since I was 16. I watched my first porn when I was like 10. I've been on the bend for 4 days now.  Feels alot longer though! I would like us to encourage and support each other as we begin our respective roads to recovery. Cheers!