Author Topic: taking it serious this time!  (Read 217 times)

develop myself-since1999

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taking it serious this time!
« on: August 13, 2020, 08:09:19 AM »
Hello everyone,

I'm an 20 year old guy from The Netherlands. I always have been a little shy and unconfident in social interactions but when I was 16 I decided I needed to change, It was mostly due to the fact al my mates were getting girlfriends and they seemed pretty confident about it. I'm not really insecure about the way I look but mostly about my social-confidence, I decided I needed to get out of my comfort zone and when I go out I talked to girls that I was attracted to. At first they all rejected me, I knew something needed to change. As dumb as it maybe sounds I paid money for seminars that learned me how to get confident with women. Since that moment I had small successes with girls and overtime it went better and better. at one moment I was at a bar and it was around 3 at night so the bar closed, I saw this pretty girl when i came outside that was exaclty my type, she was a lightskin girl brown hair a cute looking face so I decided to go up to her and talk to her, right away it just clicked later that night we kissed and after that we hanged out for a couple of times an kissed alot. At one moment we were laying on the couch kissing and things were getting more and more intense so I took her clothes off she was really into it and she took off my belt and my pants I was kissing here while playing with here pussy and she was stroking my dick but I couldn't get hard, I felt really shitty because I was very attracted to this girl and I really wanted it to happen. after that time she felt I was insecure about that time and we didn't meet up ever since. since that moment I couldn't stop thinking about how I couldn't get my dick hard. I really had an ED. A couple weeks after that I was at another party and I was talking to a girl I met before, we were flirting and I after a moment I told her we should go outside, when we were outside i flirted a bit more with her and kissed her, right after we kissed she suggested we should go to her place to sleep with each other, we were kissing and we both got naked, and also this time my dick was just feeling numd I just really wasn't getting any sexual feelings with her, she was already totally naked an wanted to get fucked. I was so embarrassed with myself and told her it was because of the alcohol, but I didn't drink that much so that really wasn't the case. I just fingered her so she would get a little bit of pleasure but I felt so fucking misserable with myself, at this moment I knew something needed to change and I came to the book yourebrainonporn I was relieved that a lot of guys had the same problems and I can do something about it. Im still a virgin because I cant get my f*cking dick hard when im with a girl. I've tried it a couple times to quit porn but because it is so easy to get acces to it it makes it very difficult to stop, everytime after 7-10 days my urges to look it up are so strong, having a phone at this moment is like driving a ferrari but you cant hit the gas pedal. you know there is porn on it but you cant look at it. I know the only way is to find healty distractions until the urges go away. this time I will really put in the effort to stop so my ED will go away. I know it's gonna be hard but it is gonna be worth it. I'm going for 90 days so i really will get the full benefits.