Author Topic: quit for good (Read 51146 times)

joepanic · « **on:** January 04, 2018, 08:47:19 AM »

Hey friends This is a continuation of my post in porn addiction as this is more my journal and the other post was sort of mislabeled So from now on I will be continuing my journal from here

as of midnight tonight I will be 14 days free and I'm feeling pretty good no real side effects yet I've been spending my time doing as much reading as I can on the topic and slowly working on other things round the house to keep busy I am off work till March so tend to have a lot of free time The wife and kids are back to school and work this coming Monday when the real test will begin. Trying to take some time to find ways to get out of the house and do something meaningful. I think most of us understand how much we have missed things and forgotten even how to act and live in certain situations ie interacting with the public and our friends and family basically our confidence to achieve certain level of results is diminished I believe this could be the hard part in this so that is where I'm gong to put some of my energies Will keep you all posted as to how this moves along

Post often it helps me it helps you

joepanic · « **Reply #1 on:** January 05, 2018, 10:52:41 AM »

Day 15 feeling pretty good a few urges but was able to suppress them by getting myself moving doing some organizing and working out/exercise I only have one thought thats been on my mind and if i win this battle years down the road will I look back on myself and think only poorly of these years any thought on it ?

post often it helps me it helps you

Overcomer2017 · « **Reply #2 on:** January 06, 2018, 09:14:11 AM »

Looking back on prior years and deeming them poorly is a pill called regret. I have "taken" this pill for many years and it got me nowhere but living under a negative cloud. For DECADES I regretted not listening to my parents' financial wisdom. It's only been about five years ago when I finally forgave myself. Thinking back poorly of previous times is also a waste of time. Again, I speak from experience.

Rock on, joepanic!

Gunner · « **Reply #3 on:** January 06, 2018, 01:31:43 PM »

Good job Joe! Keep it going. It is not easy and takes effort and work. Just 6 days for me as I felt it proper to start on 1/1. I have done it before, once for six months and another for two. It feels great when your brain is off porn!

EnigmaMan · « **Reply #4 on:** January 06, 2018, 04:15:41 PM »

Quote from: Overcomer2017 on January 06, 2018, 09:14:11 AM

Looking back on prior years and deeming them poorly is a pill called regret. I have "taken" this pill for many years and it got me nowhere but living under a negative cloud. For DECADES I regretted not listening to my parents' financial wisdom. It's only been about five years ago when I finally forgave myself. Thinking back poorly of previous times is also a waste of time. Again, I speak from experience.

Rock on, joepanic!

Indeed, none of us can do a thing about yesterday, its done. Make today the best you can, seize every opportunity. The only way through is forward. You made the decision to be a quitter like the rest of us, that is a positive worth focusing on, regret and self flagellation only leads to a negative self view which easily leads back to PMO. When Cortez reached the new world, he burned his ships so his men would be focused on moving ahead, not looking to go back.

workingonit · « **Reply #5 on:** January 08, 2018, 05:39:06 AM »

Hello Joe,

Good you are working on your addiction. I like the quote under Enigmaman's post. That if you put yourself down, it continues your spiral and furthers use.

I attended my first SAA (Sex Addicts Anonymous) meeting last week. It was really interesting hearing other stories. SAA/AA ws set up by christians but the people in my group are not christians. They follow the SAA steps which seems rigid at first but gives a frame work to work through your problems. Might be worth looking at?

All the best!

joepanic · « **Reply #6 on:** January 08, 2018, 09:52:50 AM »

Hey Guys thanks for reading and taking the time to post words of encouragement. I am now on day 18 and only had a few urges but was quickly able to suppress them I also had a dream that I relapsed but it was after a month but the dream must have disappeared very quickly so i'm not giving it any further thought Today the real test will begin as the house is completely empty and I know I will have some free time I'm carefully debating how to fill it I might go and snowblower out a few neighbours driveways to stay out of the house (we had a fair amount of snow last night and its still snowing) but its not so cold now over all I do feel much better these days and so far no real side effects at all made love to the wife over the weekend but it was a quicky as the kids were getting up but it was def a good time Will try to post later today as to how this 1st day lone is going

Cheers post oftewn it helps me it helps you

Overcomer2017 · « **Reply #7 on:** January 08, 2018, 03:44:44 PM »

Joe,

How was your day today?

Congrats on Day 18!

I'm on Day 7 and my main distraction--my cat--is asleep, lol. I'm sick, home from work. I just got through an urge. I will say, a flu or really bad cold does wonders for rebooting--seriously!

joepanic · « **Reply #8 on:** January 08, 2018, 08:44:03 PM »

Hey Overcomer My day went well I went and helped a few people clear their driveways with my snowblower was good exercise to boot Congrats on day 7 keep pushing through with things to do I find leaving the house really helps if you have an urge you probably cant act on it. I shall be around in the morning o say hello and I already have a small list of things I need to do

Cheers

post often it helps me it helps you

joepanic · « **Reply #9 on:** January 09, 2018, 10:13:01 AM »

Day 19 feeling pretty good have list of things to do today to keep busy hope everyone is well and progressing sorry this one is short but gonna go take on some world i'll pop in later and let ya know how progress is going

cheers

post often it helps me it helps you

Overcomer2017 · « **Reply #10 on:** January 09, 2018, 11:00:02 AM »

Hey joe,

Sounds things are good for you. [thumbs up]

This flu is actually helping me with rebooting. I am so out of it, I couldn't get a hard-on if I was lost in a sorority

. I am going to the doctor's later.

Thanks!

EnigmaMan · « **Reply #11 on:** January 09, 2018, 12:28:35 PM »

Quote from: Overcomer2017 on January 09, 2018, 11:00:02 AM

Hey joe,

Sounds things are good for you. [thumbs up]

This flu is actually helping me with rebooting. I am so out of it, I couldn't get a hard-on if I was lost in a sorority . I am going to the doctor's later.

Thanks!

Hope you get to feeling better, OC. Joe keep up the good work, the driveway looks great. LOL

Overcomer2017 · « **Reply #12 on:** January 09, 2018, 04:33:15 PM »

Thanks, EnigmaMan.

I felt for a brief moment a sense of cockiness (yeah, pun is intended

) yesterday at making a week without PMO. I started thinking, "Oh! I can handle this. This is easy." I immediately felt a need to be humble. A week without wanking--for me--is great, but this is no time for me beating my chest like King Kong. I know the primary reason I am not doing this is because of this virus. (My doc did a nasal swab and said I do not have the flu, though I do have a virus.) So let me "make lemonade out of lemons" and use this viral bug to my rebooting advantage!

joepanic · « **Reply #13 on:** January 10, 2018, 09:10:18 AM »

Wow were at day 20 2 days ago I reached the 20% of a 90 day reboot and now I think this is the 2nd longest I've gone without p in the last probably 10 years I'm beginning to think my addiction is not as deep as some as I'm not really having any side effects at all the 1st week was somewhat of a flat line though that seems to have returned to normal I cant say i ever used more than once in a day my problem was late at night sometimes 3 4 or 5 hour sessions at a time or when off work it could start at 10 am and end just before the kids were coming home at 4 pm and I was so bothered by the total loss of a day as this had gone on for years usually 4 5 or 6 times a week I cant imagine counting the hours and calculating the lost time to this. But anyway here we are at day 20 at midnight tomorrow night it will be 3 weeks Have a pretty good list of things to accomplish today so gonna get at it Will try to keep everyone posted as to how things are going

Good luck to everyone in there battles We can all win in the end

Cheers Post often it helps me it helps you

EnigmaMan · « **Reply #14 on:** January 10, 2018, 09:15:52 AM »

Quote from: Overcomer2017 on January 09, 2018, 04:33:15 PM

Thanks, EnigmaMan.

I felt for a brief moment a sense of cockiness (yeah, pun is intended ) yesterday at making a week without PMO. I started thinking, "Oh! I can handle this. This is easy." I immediately felt a need to be humble. A week without wanking--for me--is great, but this is no time for me beating my chest like King Kong. I know the primary reason I am not doing this is because of this virus. (My doc did a nasal swab and said I do not have the flu, though I do have a virus.) So let me "make lemonade out of lemons" and use this viral bug to my rebooting advantage!

Yeah, there is a virus going around, made a shambles of my wife's work. The employee health nurse said she knew of some people taking 6 weeks to fully recover. Wife is on week #2, just finished a steroid and antibiotic she got for the ear infection it caused... That was good you realized you were getting cocky. What is it they say, "Pride goeth before a fall", never more true than when dealing with PMO, I can attest. I'm on my 8th day this run, it was quiet the first 7, I don't have or watch regular TV so I get my news and what not from youtube. The cool thing about youtube(I know it has some very bad stuff too) is it knows what I typically watch and recommends similar videos/shows. Until yesterday all my recommendations made sense, then as if on Que it started recommending things I don't need to watch, funny how that can happen. I didn't go looking for stuff and it still came looking for me, "Hello, Satan". Always be on your guard and be humble, just like you said.

Overcomer2017 · « **Reply #15 on:** January 10, 2018, 11:48:16 AM »

Wow! Six weeks. Hope Mrs. EnigmaMan feels better.

Yep, pride goeth before the fall.

Congrats to you!!

joepanic · « **Reply #16 on:** January 11, 2018, 09:45:53 AM »

And now we begin day 21 3 weeks almost a 3rd of the way had a few small urges and thoughts last night while in bed rock hard for some time and woke up that way was able to put them out of my mind and curl up close to the wife(she never seems o mind that....deep sleeper sometimes) have a nice list of things to do today and keep busy as well as training for work coming up in next few weeks so more things to fill up the time all seems good so far

Hope all are well and winning the battle

cheers

post often it helps me it helps you

EnigmaMan · « **Reply #17 on:** January 14, 2018, 12:12:40 PM »

Quote from: joepanic on January 11, 2018, 09:45:53 AM

And now we begin day 21 3 weeks almost a 3rd of the way had a few small urges and thoughts last night while in bed rock hard for some time and woke up that way was able to put them out of my mind and curl up close to the wife(she never seems o mind that....deep sleeper sometimes) have a nice list of things to do today and keep busy as well as training for work coming up in next few weeks so more things to fill up the time all seems good so far

Hope all are well and winning the battle

cheers

post often it helps me it helps you

You are doing very well and 21 is a common sticky spot due to brain chemistry changes. Keep doing what your doing, every day is a new day.

joepanic · « **Reply #18 on:** January 16, 2018, 04:19:59 PM »

Thanks for the encouragement guys

Sorry I havent been on for a few days but its still going well Ive faced a few temptations alot of morning wood with my hand wanting to drift down and thoughts about my wife ) but not about porn which i suppose is good in 2 days it will be day 28 4 weeks wow almost a 3rd of the way through a 90 day reboot I think its getting easier now The thought to surf porn does pop into my head and I usually go through the maybe i should surf it just to kill time but I'm slowely starting to develop new habits and find things to quickly put the thought out of my mind I do hope that in the future my mind just automatically says lets do this or lets do that and its something productive and serves a better purpose perhaps in time

Thanks for all the comments and encouragement and hope everyone is doing well on the battlefield

cheers post often it helps me it helps you

joepanic · « **Reply #19 on:** January 21, 2018, 11:46:33 PM »

Hey guys here we are at day 31 made love to the wife sat morning and all was well (its good I'm down 6 lbs since Jan 1st Hope all are progressing in their battles

I;ll try to listen to my own words and post a little more often and read a little more often others posts

Cheers

Post often it helps me and it helps you

unchained · « **Reply #20 on:** January 22, 2018, 05:06:25 PM »

Congratulations making it past a month. You are doing great.

joepanic · « **Reply #21 on:** January 24, 2018, 09:16:56 AM »

Hey Hey we are entering day 34 been doing good on the workout in the gym eating better and no urges at all i'm quite surprised by this getting morning wood on and off which has always been normal for me gonna go take on some world today

Hope all are doing well

Post often it helps me it helps you

seneca · « **Reply #22 on:** January 24, 2018, 10:06:39 AM »

Man, this is good stuff, jp. I’m following you.

joepanic · « **Reply #23 on:** January 25, 2018, 11:30:10 AM »

And were entering Day 35 its odd as its almost too easy I'm hoping that all of a sudden I dont get to a point where wham you get blindsided I suppose it helps I'm keeping really busy I have seen a few "provocative" imaged and just ensured that I could surf away from them Nothing outright nude and no video
They really had no effect on me (although my wife def does) which I suppose is good I will keep posting my thoughts and observaions and reading your

Cheers Post often it helps me it helps you

joepanic · « **Reply #24 on:** January 26, 2018, 09:39:30 AM »

starting day 36

i'm reading and responding to a few posts should be an easy day i think as the kids are off school and home today Small challenge will be tonight as its friday and weekend nights were quite often a problem and wife is feeling a bit under the weather so I dont think I'll be chasing her around too much let you all know how it goes later

cheers post often it helps me it helps you