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Healed after 13months

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Healingshame:
HI guys just wanted to made a post here because I owe it I guess given how much help it was for me. (maybe more YBOP but still)

I am healed after 13 months.
 
About me and my story you can learn from my blog :http://www.rebootnation.org/forum/index.php?topic=188.0

Just couple advices I can give from my mistakes that could help guys here:

1) It is not about porn and or masturbation it is about improving your life and changing it.
I think that most here don't look at the bigger picture and in a way they "sort of want" to quit porn and/or masturbation yet they keep relapsing.
What helped me and made me basically not relapsing was realisation of how much I lost due to MO'ing and Porn. I lost 10 years ,countless of girls, was hurt so many times and was living like a zombie. Thats something I saw in Gabe vids too when he talked about it. If you really realize on a deeper level how much you lost due to all of this shit you won't relapse.

2) Again quiting porn and moing has to be a part of much bigger action. It is easy to keep going even when things are bad when you keep improving your life and see results.
I lost 15kg, saw 2 continents made new friends, scored a girlfriend had sexual encounters with sever girls. And It was probably more experience than im my previous 28 years of life.
Simply make a decision to "stop this shit" and " I don't want my life to look like that for the rest of my life" and try to improve it day by day.

3) Abstaining is not a solution
I see so many guys here trying to abstain long enough to be healed. It won't work you need to find girlfriend and believe I know that it is hard. But it is possible. I did that. Many many guys did that too. Woman are no aliens and if you make yourself at least semi interesting to them it will work. I am sure about that. But you have to create consistent effort and massive action.
If you keep trying and keep learning based on your experience you will make it.

4) This one will be controversial. I think that for many guys they should at some point try ED drugs. I mean I lost probably several months because I didn't wanted to try. When you have ED there is a ton of anxiety and for people like me who was a virgin no experience. It is hard to rewire when you can't have sex and you get rejected by girls thanks to that.
However it is not a band aid. You just need to use it to improve and speed up your healing process with the goal to decrease dosage or quit entirely ASAP.
I saw people (e.g. John) being in the same position as me healing themselves much faster (like in 6 months) because with Ed drugs they could rewire much more consistently and faster.

Tho I do think that me traveling abroad and not seeing then my GF and limited rewiring due to long distance relationship played its part.

Ok guys. Take care. GL on your path.

goffredo:

--- Quote from: Healingshame on February 28, 2015, 02:24:51 AM ---3) Abstaining is not a solution
I see so many guys here trying to abstain long enough to be healed. It won't work you need to find girlfriend and believe I know that it is hard.

--- End quote ---

I assume you mean to find a girlfriend, one who is willing to support you and be with you as you recover from PIED?

Charlie Marcotte:
Cool friend :) That's great to hear!

Did you see any emotional/mental improvements along the way?

Healingshame:

--- Quote from: goffredo on March 01, 2015, 09:39:22 PM ---
--- Quote from: Healingshame on February 28, 2015, 02:24:51 AM ---3) Abstaining is not a solution
I see so many guys here trying to abstain long enough to be healed. It won't work you need to find girlfriend and believe I know that it is hard.

--- End quote ---

I assume you mean to find a girlfriend, one who is willing to support you and be with you as you recover from PIED?

--- End quote ---

I mean every girl you can with the exception for prostitutes etc. simply because it is mechanical experience and not an enjoyable one.But I think if thats what you want to try go for it.The only way it can get better is when you teach your brain to crave the real thing and be comfortable with real relationships.
In order to get better you need to rewire I know it sucks but it helps. It is a very bad experience when you can't get it up but On top of that thanks to rewiring at this point porn/moing does me nothing I am so used to having sex that watching other people doing it is like WTF for my brain. The only thing I get from it is a headache. :D

Healingshame:

--- Quote from: Charlie Marcotte on March 03, 2015, 11:28:31 AM ---Cool friend :) That's great to hear!

Did you see any emotional/mental improvements along the way?

--- End quote ---


A ton. I am way more emotionally stable and I am focused much more. I was able to make like 2.5x money and traveled thru 3 continents and it was during the process  :D I don't think it was really due to super powers but more because you are not letting your addiction to define you anymore. People underestimate how much mental energy your addiction costs you. So when you get rid of it and it get to the point when it is a habit you have automatically like 20% more brain power because the part of your brain responsible for maintaining and managing your addiction doesn't need to do it anymore.

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