Celebrating but still seeking advice

So I am 35 days porn free. I had a 20+ year addiction. I am 44 years old. It?s not been easy but worth it. I was still able to have erections when I quit but was having a lot of problems like delayed ejaculation not penetrating etc. I have not been able to completely break free of the masturbation side despite completely quitting porn. Nofap is something I strive for and each time I can go a little bit longer. When I do masturbate I try to focus strictly on real experiences I have actually had on the past or sexual desires for someone I currently have some dating relationship with. I am a bit embarrassed to say I?ve only gone about 55 hours nofap, but I?ve been progressively making each nofap longer - 26 hours, then 36, then 48, now 55. The first nofap was extremely difficult and each one is getting progressively easier. Can anyone offer further advice for a guy who can quit porn but struggling very much with nofap? I do not have a girlfriend or wife but have had several dates in the past month or so, one of whom met with great disappointment I was honest upfront but she didn?t quite get it. After that girl I have been taking things real slow and being extremely honest and blunt with anyone genuinely interested. Thanks, Dan
 

Johnn7boy

Member
Hey Dan, I really can resonate a lot in similar situations in my x past old-self, while I was in this Jail lifestyle addiction. I remember that my inner-self was putting a lot of fight to seek the true and to overcome this disease, I won't lie to you it took me over 5-6 years fighting off back to back with this disease - Now I am free.
A little background about me, I was Severely addicted, alway had social awkwardness, always wanted to be isolated. ( Which is not me) and then developed an excessive compulsive addiction for over 20 years, now I am 36, I could?ve jerk off and edge for over few hours everyday and my Porn usage was generally escalated to hardcore porn. I was suffering from PIED for many years.

Long story short - for me to fight back, I decided to sell everything I owned  and leave the country for 8 months traveling backpacking through hostels in South America.
I didn't watched not even one single Porn or jerk off the whole entire trip since I was with people the whole entire  time in hostels. When I got back to reality after 8 months, I returned to my Ex ( also prior to my return, I opened up to her and share everything about me).

The great part is - when we started to make love my erections were steel and lasted the whole time with full sensation down there which I'd never ever had before ( which is truly rewired ) I was so F... happy like I've never been before ( Cause before my trip I had to take pills to maintain erections but I've never felt anything down there).

Then I developed a very darkest fantasy about my ex ( dirty talk, the most darkest and disgusting fantasies you could passably imagine ) which cause my brain to pursue for more sex and dopamine novelties. So I got back to being  addicted, So I replace my previous disease to a new one, Sex Addict  .

Long story short I lost my girlfriend. My biggest fear was that I'll be alone and I won?t  have someone that I can needed approve that my di.. works ( become dependent on social  approval )
Now I am all by myself (since 3 month ago) then I stumbled on this phenomena book THE EASYPEASY Method to never wanting to watching porn EVER AGIAN!!!!
Then I promised to myself that I'd never watch Porn and never needed to Jerk off ever. ( If you read it you'll understand that you can live happily without Porn, Jerking off or Orgazma. This years from 3 month ago I promised to myself that I am going to date only ME!!!!!! And love myself and then once I feel ready after a year, I'll get my other half wife:)

Bottom line - if you really want to jailbreak this disease you'll need to read this book and follow  the instructions and if you can go backpacking for few months ( don't worry I promised you, you won't lose anything actually instead you'll earn your best experience in this beautiful life.
?? And Love ??
 
Johnn7boy Thank you for your honest reply. This actually gives me a lot of hope. In my case what allowed me to finally shake the habit after 20 years was some horrible experiences of sexually disappointing beautiful women, women that had been out of my league before that I never could have bedded. The pain and the humiliation of the women dumping me was so terrible that right now I have no desire to ever watch porn again. But I know that for my body to fully reset I need the nofap period and this is exactly what I?m working on right now. Thanks again for sharing.
 

Maglue

Active Member
Thanks John...
I'm noticing a lot of stories when guys open up to the girl that they perform amazing... like it takes the pressure off...

Yeah gives me a lot of hope because I'm in a flatline 40 days no pmo...
Made me alittle sad last night...
 

Johnn7boy

Member
@Maglue I know exactly how you feel!! let me share with you about me that will resonate with your experience,  I am also going through 87 days ago I've decided that I also would never jerk off. Cause right after breaking  up with my ex I developed a habit to jerk off one a month which led to the chaser affect with dopamine hits which had me resulted to be down quite often.
So after reading the book '' The EasyPeasy Method '' I've realized that I'm no longer in this mouse trap and YES WE CAN live without Orgazma!!! You won't die and no arm will happen to you!!!

Now regarding about your flatline, you are being deceived by your subconscious, cause the only way for you to test it, is by being  with a real woman that you have feeling for her and physical attraction and to get a better recipe is to be authentic with her and don't give a fuck if she turns her back on you, which means this girl is not for you and you deserve much better!!!!!!

Ask me how I know, cause I've done it and nobody can tell me otherwise!!!!! :)

My brother look at the bright side of this rewire stage, if you were to be horny all the time while you recovering, you'd have being relapsed all the time!!!!! So look at that as the best way for you to achieve  your pride your honor back and most of Gain superpower Confidence!!!!

Just read the book and tell yourself That you don't have to stop watching porn and fab anymore, tell your subconscious that I am FREE from this jail FOREVER and save this only for real women Not the one night stand ( not right now anyway, if you decide that ,that's what you want, that's fine but after you are 100% Rebooted = meaning you have been with a girl or few for sometimes and you know that you are healed )

My brother I hope this  help out to Motivate you and rest assured To healthy lifestyle  🙏??
 

Johnn7boy

Member
Hey Dan my pleasure and please don't worry ,once you will be away for long time from fapping aswell you'll notice something unbelievable start happening around you, when girls start to sense your energy presence around them just wait, cause once you start caring what they think about you,  you start becoming independent on someone else approval.

which will make women going crazy about you!!!!!

When you stop chase them and you understand that you don't have to have sex to feel the happiness around yourself, cause happiness is a lifestyle choice and sex or dopamine hits it is just a moment ( don't get me wrong I F.... love it) but choose to live your life with happiness and stop being in prison of feeling so afraid when someone reject your offer!

Peace  ?? ??  my Brother.
 
Hey, Buddy. I was in a similar situation too when I started this journey about 110 days ago. I would easily abstain from porn but would find myself masturbating every day. But right now I am 37 days free from it because I realized that I personally feel like I would at least need 180 days hard-mode as a foundation. And the gains after I have stopped M are immense. It gets easier, you are on the right path! Hope this helps. :)
 
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