Journals > Ages 20-29

Very likely to have a weird combination of venous leakage with pied. (25)

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Jeks:
Oh boy... Its so frustrating.
Went there, waited an hour, told hin i wanna fo the test to find out, if i have got VL. He repiles, that its not possible to find it out with the Doppler and injection test. First of all, of course, i havr found a lot of experiences of self help groups, who found it out with this test. There is even medical literature. Secoundly, why didnt you say so, the first time i came to you. Its such a waste of time and emotional energy...
Anyway, there is a delf help group for impotence in my city. I am thinking about going there. Maybe there is someone, who can recommend a good doctor.
Other than that i gotta wait, until the hospital will give me an appointment.

Edit: okay, at least i got a preliminary talk at the hopsital for the midst of April now.

Jeks:
shit man, very depressed today.

Tried mastubating now after a 3 months break. Erection qualitiy as bad as ever. Got maybe a little better towards orgasm (60-70 %). Its now 19 months of abstinence and there is almost no progess. Only porn images were toned down a lot. Had to fantasize, but thought about a real life experience. Other than that everything is as bad as always.

I really need theVL test to know if there is something else wrong. Either i have fucked my brain up like only a few others or there is another reason to my ED. At least i got now the appointment at the hospital.

Its difficult to find the drive to do other stuff under circumstances like this. I really try my best, but i am just exhausted man.
At least my bladder got better a lot. When this would still be an issue, i dont know, what i would do.

Feels like i slid down a little in my hole again. Gotta keep climbing. At the 19th of April there will be some new insights at the hospital. First step is to make it until then.

Edit: One hope is, that pills actually helped me, when i was still with my ex. So whatever the problem is, i will be surely somehow able to live with it.

Bilbo Baggins:
Well, you know what you have to do, so I won’t talk about masturbation and all that. I’d just like to point out that it’s probably normal that you couldn’t get really hard. I’ve often read that after a long streak of abstinence, it takes a few times before the motor kicks in. I’m not saying you should masturbate again, I’m just saying that what you experienced seems common. Your body and brain aren’t used to that anymore, you have deconditioned yourself during those 19 months. You’re probably just rusted, man. The best thing to do is to not think about it.

Jeks:
Thanks bilbo for the reply,

i was in a bad state yesterday. Your answer helped me a lot. Never thought about it like this.
Also you are right. I now have the appointment in April, so the best now is probably to try not to think about it. The examinations will show what my ED is all about. Thinking about it doesnt help the situation right now. It just makes me feel miserable and doesnt help me to heal. I have now done everything in my power, i got the appointment. I will try to now let this topic go until April and then we will see what will come. Whatever comes out of it, there is hope. Pills helped me in the past, so even if its something physiological, there will be a way to live a fulfilled sex life somehow. Important thing right now is to get clarity. Thinking and worrying about it wont help with that.

Thanks again Bilbo. I feel more calm now.

Jeks:
Again it was a tough day. Somehow managed to get some things done in the evening and i feel better now. Bladder was again a little more iffy today, but it already got so much better. Just gotta keep going.

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