Starting new

W

Wasted years

Member
I've been hesitant to post anything, because I'm ashamed of all the years I've wasted, sitting in front of my computer, looking for the video that would make all my dreams come true. Guess what? I've never found it. I've been  clean for a little over a month now and I'm feeling good. I think its time to take my life back.
 
joepanic

joepanic

Respected Member
Good morning Wasted

                  Put the shame behind you.  I don't even know why people even factor that in.  I'm going to guess there is probably a back story  to your porn use. A story that you probably did not intend to write. And porn was your antidote.  Mine was loneliness and not being able to fit in socially for as far back as I can remember.  You fill the void somehow.  Look forward on your achievement and build upon it.  When you are clean  your mind will  be free to address any underlying issues as well as you will then begin to fill your time with things that make you feel good about yourself  and make others want to be around you

    Post often it helps me it helps you
 
LetItGoAlready

LetItGoAlready

Active Member
Wasted - Nice to meet you. It sounds like you've made good progress already on taking back your life. Congrats on being clean for a little over a month!

It's common to look back with regret at all the years wasted on this addiction. Particularly for those who are just starting off the journey, although I don't know if that's true in your case. Try not to buy into false beliefs like you're no good, no one loves you, you've wasted/ruined your life, etc., at this early stage. It takes time to unravel the thoughts and feelings that come from your rational mind vs those that are stirred up by this addiction, and choosing to dwell on your darkest thoughts/feelings at this time will not serve you well. Just keep putting distance between yourself and P, and eventually the shame will be replaced with feelings of accomplishment and pride at finally taking control of your life and leaving PA behind.

Take care, friend!
 
W

Wasted years

Member
Than you both for your input.  I just get to thinking all the things I've missed out on, surfing the web for trash.  This morning I was watching the news and my mind started wandering.  Thinking about  things that would lead me down a dark path. There's a name you guys use. Its.. a.    P. SUB.  Once I realize what they are, I will have a good tool in my tool box.  Crazy addition we have gotten ourselves in. We can beat this.  Porn is no longer an option.
 
N

Nick Simons

Active Member
Hey wasted - just saw your post and wanted to say that I totally get the shame factor.  Sometimes it makes me super angry, sometimes super sad ... but now I am feeling that maybe there is a reason for my past attempts and resulting failures.  Maybe this time, with the help from this Forum and all I have learned recently I am now at a tipping point - maybe the final piece of the puzzle has finally fallen in to place ... which leads me on a path where I can finally step into my authentic self. 

Anyway for what its worth you have achieved a pretty awesome milestone (over 30 days porn free) - I am at day 9 and it is very rare for me to go this long so you are a hero in my book!  Stay strong bro - you are surrounded by others who want the kick the shit out of this beast!

Believe it.
 
W

Wasted years

Member
Thank you nick. I think it helps being here knowing probably most guys in here have done the same thing as you and I. It's also nice to know there is an army of men here who , when we feel all alone we can come here and get encouragement.  Stay strong brother and remember porn is no longer an option.
 
W

Wasted years

Member
Thank you all for your input.  I really appreciate it.  The last couple of days,  I've really felt that pull to get my dopamine levels up,  but I'm actually starting to think about my post pmo feeling,  and I don't like that feeling at all, especially now after the same videos, it doesn't matter what I'm watching,  just doesn't do anything for me anymore.  I almost have to force myself to Org... im also finding if porn somehow gets into my thoughts,  I really try to distract my brain into other thoughts.  That seems to be working right now. Stay strong and PORN IS NO LONGER AN OPTION FOR US.
 
W

Wasted years

Member
Well I've had a long week and I'm up way too Evander instead of going to my usual place I go to, I think write a little note in my journal.  Roses are red violets are blue im staying away from porn,  and so should you.  That's pretty good.  We'll its time to get up and have some coffee.  Stay strong rebooted and remember.  Porn is no longer an option. We are better than porn
 
W

Wasted years

Member
Tonight im in bed and my brain is just  looking for something to get my dopamine  levels up.  I've felt this before and I will let this pass. Tomorrow is a new day and things will be good. There is a better life for me beyond porn.
 
N

Nick Simons

Active Member
Hey wasted ...  keep on taking one step after another with your "escape plan" from porn prison.  I really like how you are framing "... tomorrow is a new day and things will be good".  That has helped me a lot - whether I have had a relatively good day or whether it has been a roller coaster ride of temptation and near misses ... no matter how you faired or how things turned out yesterday today is brand new .. the slate is wiped clean and you just need to focus on this day with all your energy (forget the past ... forget the future ... just live for now). 

Stay strong brother!
 
W

Wasted years

Member
Good morning,  friends. I've been here before.  My Braun is in absolute panic mode, and it is doing whatever it can to get me to just take a tiiiiiiny peek of something that will get my dopamine fired up. I'm seeing things on TV,  Facebook,  or at the store that I don't usually see. I'm just amazed at how powerful our brains are. I plan on staying ahead of the head games, MY head is playing on me. You guys just know your brain will do whatever it takes to keep you in that black hole we  call porn. There is a better life for all of us once we get this monkey off our back.  Stay strong fellas.  PORN IS NO LONGER AN OPTION.
 
J

J01

Guest
Good awareness analysis-yes, the stuff is everywhere!  One thing I have been focusing on is reducing the social media to the bare bones.  I use it, but I have a specific reason or purpose for it then I log off it.  Anyway, great job on making this decision for life improvement! 
 
W

Wasted years

Member
Thank you guys for your support.  I enjoy looking on here and seeing the support I'm getting.  It makes this change a little easier. Yesterday my wife and kids left for 2 nights.  I worked my a** off until dark. By the time I got finished,  I ate and went to bed. Im sure as hell not going to start this process over. I've tried stopping several times before,  and always came up short to my goal. We can do this . It's so hard to not watch porn, when it's always right at your fingertips.  Stay strong guys. This is something we can all beat.
 
workinprogressUK

workinprogressUK

Well-Known Member
Hope you took some satisfaction from staying on track when you were home alone. Reinforces the new you, that doesn't need that dopamine hit at bed time and doesn't use P. Inspiring stuff. Thanks!
 
W

Wasted years

Member
Well last week was spring break and I was home alone almost the whole week.  I thought of all the things I  could have done and then feel like crap.  So I didn't do one thing I was even mildly  bad about. A lot of that comes  from you guys and the support I get when I come here. Knowing i have this place and can come here and read stories I can relate to.  It feels good getting this thing behind me.
 
W

Wasted years

Member
Well life is good. Its Friday and porn is in my rear view mirror.  I'm kind of in a bit of a flat line, but that's to be expected a little.  It feels so nice to not be bogged down by trying to sneak a peek at the new videos. I've got better things to do. It's so nice to come here and read stories and see how we are all proceeding with life, without porn. Stay strong guys and porn is no longer an option.
 
W

Wasted years

Member
I had a busy weekend and porn didn't cross my mind once. I worked so hard Saturday and Sunday, that by the time my head hit the pillow  and I was out.  I've noticed my brain fog is lifting and being around small groups of people is enjoyable.  I'm actually  looking forward to talking to people and socializing.  Stay strong guys and porn is no longer an option.
 
W

Wasted years

Member
I woke up this morning and my brain is wanting some dopamine.  I need to be on high alert today.  I looked on fb and I found myself looking at clothes big booked women.  Maybe it's time to take a break from fb.
 
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