Hard reboot after 15 years of porn (8 years of fetish porn) -> 2 months clean

Hi all,

Thanks for reading my message, feel free to share any opinion or advise you might have on my situation.
Find below the description of my situation throughout adolescence and adulthood, what I'm hoping to obtain from this is some insights from people who are on a similar path as me.

I live in the Netherlands, and have a history of drug abuse (I am now clean of everything as I learned how to kick a habbit, which I believe long term will help me to quit PMO for good).
A few months ago, I met a new girl (she is now my girlfriend for about three months), which slowly started to change my perspective on porn (she is more vanilla, and I've experienced PIED on multiple occassions). I can achieve an orgasm by handjob/blowjob/a bit rougher sex, but traditional sex makes me lose my erection.
Luckily she is supportive of my situation, for now, find below my history.

Situation:
I lost my virginity at 15 years old with my first girlfriend, we broke up one year later.
After that relationship, I discovered smoking weed / partying / drugs, in which I indulged for many years. (16-22)
During this period, I was watching porn more or less daily while dating girls occassionally, and short term relationships.

When I was in my last years of college, I was using amphetamine multiple times a week, and as a result of that I developped a major porn addiction.
Within this porn addiction, I developed a fetish for feet, nylons / stockings, high heels. Years later I realized that this is a common fetish, which a lot of men have, which I accepted over time.
In the years after that, I watched porn daily, where my interests got progressively more intense:

- Foot fetish / nylons / high heels (22-24 years old)
- Prostate stimulation / rimming / pegging (24-26 years old)
- Soft BDSM (dominant but also slightly submissive occassionally) / JOI / Edging (26-30 years old) -> few years of regular prostitute visits, where I explored my fetishes.
- Facesitting, spitting, stinky feet/nylons/heels (28-30 years old) -> few years of regular prostitute visits, where I explored my fetishes.

During these last two phases, I realized my porn use got out of hand but didn't change my habbits, looking back now I was severely addicted.
I replaced dating with girls by visiting prostitutes (2 times per month), as a result of that I gained a lot of sexual experience in a short amount of time, but at the same time it desensitized me to regular intercourse/relationships/soft sex/...

I first heard about Rebootnation two years ago, tried to stop PMO a few times but always relapsed after two or three weeks.

I met my current girlfriend in December, and I haven't watched porn since 14th of January.
Sometimes we masturbate together on WhatsApp, which I also stopped doing as I told her that I want to stop PMO for good.
We regularly meet in the weekends, but I can't seem to consistantly stay hard for regular sex (logically, given my history of porn abuse), which is really important for her.
So no porn since two months, been through a first flatline and currently in a second one, and I'm starting to see that my girlfriend is losing her patience a bit for regular intercourse..

I really don't want to lose her, at the same time I realize I can't speed up my recovery, I am very consitent in not watching porn and not masturbating (only orgasm when I am with her).
Do any of you have some advice to share on a similar situation / potential timeline / recovery / any additional information?

I know the psychological triggers and dangers of addiction, which I learned while I quit using drugs.
I am now looking to apply these insights as good as possible to end the PMO addiction.

I've heard good things about this forum, looking forward to your advice!!

Cheers,
Kevin

Congratulations, on 2 months clean buddy. It is very significant progress. Though usual recovery time is expected to be longer. Although it may not be for you. You just need to keep on the path of no P and no M and there's actually no fixed deadline though many of us wish there would be. And most importantly it helps to remember that we have no conscious control over our erections so your partner would have to understand that and if she still feels impatient then well really the ball's in her court. I do hope things work out for you! More power to you

Hey tillburg, i am no expert with this, because at all my time rebboting, i had no gf.
However from what i have read, it is unfortunately like you said. You cant speed up the process. Some people say having sex occassionally, even with pills, is not so bad, but i think in the grand scheme of things it should slow down or even hinder your progress.
Maybe if you talk to her, she can understand. If not, maybe its not the right time for you two at the moment...

I hope all will work out for you. Good luck.

@Tillburg, I get that you don't want to lose her, I have been in similar situations were girls (although not my gfs) did not understand the severety of porn addiction or chose to not be with me due to me not being able to get it up for sex after a couple of dates. I hope none of that happens to you and that she will be supportive and understanding. It takes as long as it takes, and if she cares about you deeply then she will hopefully be patient.
Congrats to two months clean btw, that's a big accomplishment already. Give it time, you got this man!

Cheers

This is a great read. Very helpful to a lot of us here.