Not anymore addicted but PIED is there. How to reboot?

Hello.
My partner has PIED. Firstly, I'd like to thank you so so much for all your work on this. I have finally discovered what's been happening and it helped tremendously to understand what the cause of the disfunction is. My partner is 30 and I am 37. He has majority of the symptoms: low libido, difficulty with holding on erection (around 30% of time), delayed ejaculation (around 30% of time), unable to climax via oral sex. I'm writing to ask for advise as I'm unable to find information on our specific case (as it seems). My partner claims he occasionally watches and masturbates to porn (max once a week) since we got together (10 months ago). He is keen to start treatment however we don't know how to proceed. We agreed he'd stop watching completely but we are unsure whether or not we should or should not have sex for some period of time. I'm wondering if we should go through typical rebooting or is there a different process for such case where he is not addicted but the effects of abuse are there? There's not too much information on rebooting with a partner. Also, I am one of those horny partners but I'm more than willing to go through it with him. Any advise on this is very much appreciated. Thank you!

If you want to really help help just be with him. Make him stop watching all kind of porn or visual stimuli and he will recover with time. He needs your support and your attention now. Thats the only thing. Good luck

gfriend said:

He is keen to start treatment however we don't know how to proceed. We agreed he'd stop watching completely but we are unsure whether or not we should or should not have sex for some period of time. I'm wondering if we should go through typical rebooting or is there a different process for such case where he is not addicted but the effects of abuse are there? There's not too much information on rebooting with a partner. Also, I am one of those horny partners but I'm more than willing to go through it with him. Any advise on this is very much appreciated. Thank you!

Click to expand...

https://youtu.be/ZLtSoWrEplM

Somewhere at the last 10 minutes or so of the presentation Gary is talking about cases, when guys did not seem to be addicted, but were getting PIED and vice versa. But the presentation as a whole is a good one for understanding, how classic addictions run and how it plays out with Porn and also to identify, if your patner is addicted, even without being aware of it or without watching crazy amounts.
Other than that you should check out the FAQs on yourbrainonporn.com

https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/rebooting-porn-use-faqs/

They also have a section about rebooting with a partner and tips for the partner specifically.

Other than that you guys gotta be patient and try things out. Poeple and brains are different. So sometimes different measures are called for.
Most important thing is to stop porn. I would also recommend, from what i have read, to give masturbation and sex a time out.

Also going to a urologist just to get a check up is never a bad idea, just to make sure.

Good luck! Its very nice of you, that you wanna support your partner in this.

Thank you so much, this really helps. It has been a crazy ride. I've never dealt with something like this in the past so obviously I was blaming myself, that he's not into me and he was stressing about the performance. It's created a lot of insecurities on my end, getting almost obsessed thinking whether or not he's been watching whenever I'm not with him. Finding this forum and the YBOP has put me on ease however the trauma is there. I've started a therapy to help rebuild my self esteem and to learn how to deal with this. We are great together on so many levels and as much as sex is really important to me I am more than willing to sacrifice some time so that he can heal, it's worth it and we deserve it. When I confronted him with these findings he felt offended and it was a really emotional conversation. He was saying things like "my libido has always been low" or "sex is just not so important to me" for what I explained it's the effect of porn because sex is the biggest drive in nature and if a healthy 30 year old says it's not important to them then there must be something wrong. Then he had a big think and admitted that there is indeed a problem and he wants to go with the process to make things better. We had sex on Saturday, then the conversation on Monday, he claims he didn't watch for over a week. Then we had sex on Tuesday, we agreed he wouldn't climax. But then on Wednesday we were both so horny so we tried the karezza technique but it very quickly escalated and then we decided he would climax to see if he has the chaser effect. We're going to try and limit sex for some time, I'm thinking at least a week but I won't lie, I stress that he won't make and will masturbate I guess we need to go through this at first to actually see the severity of the problem. As much as I'm scared I'm so happy he wants to do this. And I will support him every step of the way. Having support on this forum means so so much. Thank you

I wish I had a girl like you supporting me. Im on this alone. The best you do is support him. This way solution will come faster.

You are really good woman , the important thing that your partner move on into new behaviours , must engage in aghlitic activities and have insist to not go back into porn