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My Reboot Journal - 2020

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Robert7M:
My Reboot Journal

Hello, I am 23 years old and I have been addicted since my fasting age. I am not a good english speaker but I'll do my best.

Little story: I started when I came across it at a very young
age in a grown-up's phone and I haven't gotten rid of it since.

At the high school, I spent entire nights downloading just that with friends.
Very spaced clean periods, months.
Last year was still good.

I am a student, no girlfriend and too involved in a lot of commitments. At the point where I go out around 7 am I come home around 9 pm almost every day except Sunday. I don't entertain myself very often, no sport. As a family, we don't talk about sexuality.
I have a very strict, really stressful parents.

This year it's just chaos, I relapse every month from March until last night. I was clean every 2 weeks then fell back. And when I fell back I stayed there a little longer than before in terms of hours and days but with a lot more hard.
I lamented so much about myself,  I was practically paralyzed on the physical level (not too much going out), intellectual, social (I feel like I am losing my friendships), etc. I suspended some of my activities, telling myself that I was not worth it.

I often watch on the phone (I recently have free Internet), rarely on a machine. I don't like to watch the same video twice. So when I came back to surf I got tired of seeing the same videos. So I watched tons of it.

I tried several methods without success (actually when I got clean, well I gave up my measurements).
I even thought of extremist methods (No longer using the internet or the phone) but hey, I got back to reality.
I have 2 young girls who I like to be with at the University. I intend to go out with one of them.
I read a lot about NOFAP, even the statistics.
I know the consequences but lately it's like this I'm not even afraid of it anymore.

Some symptoms
 
- lack of discipline
- not too social
- Decreased attention, memory (I start to forget quickly and it starts to be noticed by everyone), decrease in self-esteem
- Difficulty making a decision, it frustrates me then I spend a long time until chance decides or I make a hasty decision.

My goal: I want to be clean firstly for three months ( 90 days )

- I don't want to waste my life like that, whether it's health, my relationships, my studies, my future family, etc.

- Recover my relationship with God
- Be clean throughout the next year
- Gain self-confidence
- Maintain a real romantic relationship
- Succeed in my studies
- Why not in a longer time help people to come out as well as me.

My plan :
1st Step: Clean four a month (January)
- Studing
- Draw up a certain number of principles, preventive measures, Circumstances that trigger them
- Evaluate every evening

I don't know where to start, so your tested advices will help me a lot.

But I have this strong conviction that with this program I will do better results.

Greetings!

worldlit4213:
Hey Robert7M! I started my recovery journal on this forum a few weeks ago and it has been a big help. Part of the reason I'm doing this is also because I converted to Christianity, so I'm trying my best now to drop PMO. Since you're just starting a streak, I highly recommend trying Strive21. It's a 21-day free program that guides a person through their first 21 days of no P. I still use it even after my first 21 days, and just restart it. It has a lot of great material and I've found it very helpful.

Robert7M:
Hi ! Thanks for the advice. Where can I find it? If you have it you can just send it to me or leave the link here.

Thank you in advance !

Phineas 808:
Welcome, Robert! I like that you have a plan, at least it's a start!

I'm also a believer, and if you need that perspective in your reboot/recovery, hit me up any time!

Chris Oz:

--- Quote from: Robert7M on December 30, 2020, 05:00:34 PM ---Hi ! Thanks for the advice. Where can I find it? If you have it you can just send it to me or leave the link here.

Thank you in advance !

--- End quote ---

Just go on www.strive21.com . it's been very helpful to me also.

And welcome Robert, I'd be following your Journal now, wishing you good luck. Always remember this, Everything is possible if you out your mind to it.

The one advice to is to renew your mind and free yourself of all the lies porn keeps telling you. Start by reading books about it, surrounding yourself like you're doing now with the rightnoeol6, oeik8who are trying to quit. And making adjustments as you learn about your addiction.

I also recomm you read this article here by Phineas
http://www.rebootnation.org/forum/index.php?topic=19464.0

And also the first page of his Journal. There are so many helpful info there and books etc.

Keep pushing back
Chris

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